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A 



SHORT ACCOUNT 



OF THE 



EXPERIENCE 



MBS. HESTER ANN ROGERS. 

WRITTEN BY HERSELF. 

WITH 

A BRIEF EXTRACT FROM HER DIARY. 



W 



TO WHICH ARE NOW ADDED, 



HER SPIRITUAL LETTERS. 



Come and hear, all ye that fear God ; and I will 
declare what he hath done for my soul. 

Psalm lxvi. 16. 




NEW-YORK: 



PUBLISHED BY DANIEL HITT, FOR THE 

METHODIST CONNECTION IN THE 

UNITED STATES. 

Paxil & Thomas, Printers. 



161L 



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AN ACCOUNT, &c. 



I WAS born at Macclesfield, in Cheshire, Jan. 
31, 1756, of which place my father was minister 
for many years ; being a clergyman of the Church 
of England. He was a man of strict morals, and 
as far as he was enlightened, of real piety. I was 
trained up in the observance of all outward duties, 
and in the fear of sins, which in these modern times 
are too often deemed accomplishments. I was not 
suffered to name God but with the deepest rever- 
ence ; and once for telling a lie, I was corrected in 
such a manner as Ihever forgot. We had constant 
family prayer ; the sabbatl^ras kept strictly sacred; 
and as far as outward morality, my parents lived 
irreproachably, and in all social duties were regu- 
lar and harmonious. 

I was early drawn out to secret prayer, I believ- 
ed God was the author of all good, of all happi- 
ness ; and sin the cause of all misery and pain. If 
therefore I wished for any thing I had not, I asked 
God in secret to grant it to me. And in any pain 
of body, or in any of my childish griefs, I fled to 
him for ease and comfort ; and it would be incredi- 
ble to some, how often I have received manifest 
answers to prayer, when not more than four years 
old ; and how my tender mind has been comforted. 
I was deeply affected, and had very serious thoughts 
of death, for some time, after seeing the corpse of 



( 4 ) 

a little brother of mine, who died of the smallpox 
when I was five years. I took great delight in the 
Bible, and could at this time read any part either 
of the Old or New Testament, always asking ques- 
tions so as to obtain understanding of what I read. 
My parents required thaP||t should give an ac- 
count every sabbath evening, of the sermons and 
lessons I heard at church, and say my catechism to 
them, which they explained to my understanding. 
They also required that I should get off the collect 
for the day, and repeat it with my other prayers 
every night and morning. These collects I also of- 
ten repeated in secret, and with great sincerity be- 
fore the Lord. I never remember going to bed 
without having said my prayers except once : I 
was then diverted by a girl, who told me many 
childish stories, and so took up my attention that I 
forgot to pray till I was in bed ; and then being 
alone, I recollected what I had done, and conscience 
greatly accused me ; so that I began to tremble 
lest satan should be permitted of God to fetch me 
away body and soul, which I felt I deserved ! I 
soon after thought I sa^him coming to the side of 
my bed ; when I shrieked out in such a manner as 
brought my parents up stairs to see what was the 
matter ! This made a lasting impression : and I 
never after dared to neglect commending myself to 
the protection of God before I slept. I was at this 
time about six years old. 

When about eight years of age I heard my father 
say he had a very remarkable dream, in his reco- 
very from a dangerous illness : that he stood be- 
fore the throne of God, and saw his glory ! But 
not being able to gaze upon it, fell on his face in 
raptures of joy. 

My mother asked, if he could describe what he 
saw, but he answered, No ! It was impossible to 
convey any idea of it ; it seemed almost to deprive 



( 5 ) 

him of being. She asked if any thing was spoken 
to him ; but he desired her to ask no more respect- 
ing it : nor would he ever tell her any more. I 
have often thought he received some notice in that 
dream of his approaching dissolution. A material 
change was evident from that time in all his con- 
duct and tempers. Anger was ever before a besetting 
sin, but I never remember to have seen him overcome 
by it after this. He was more vigilant in public and 
private duties ; more humble and patient under lit- 
tle difficulties and trials ; more watchful over the 
morals of all around him ; and took more pains 
than ever to inform my infant mind in all things 
which led to piety and virtue. He warned me 
against reading novels and romances ; would not 
suffer me to learn to dance, nor to go on visits to 
play with those of my own age. He said, it was 
the ruin of youth to suppose they were only to 
spend their time in diversions. I believe I shall 
have reason to bless God for ever for several les- 
sons he then gave me, and to all of which I listen- 
ed with great delight. 

In February, 1765, when I was a few weeks 
more than nine years old, he took his last sickness; 
a malignant fever, in which he lay several weeks r 
expressing through the whole of it an entire sub- 
mission to the will of God, and an assurance of a 
happy eternity. He sung psalms, repeated various 
scriptures, and praised God aloud ; and was con- 
tinually commending to his care his dear wife and 
children. A few days before he died, he called 
aloud for me ; and when 1 came, he took my hand 
in his very affectionately and said, u My dear Het- 
ty, you look dejected ! You must not let your spi- 
rits be cast down ; God hath ever cared for me 3 
and he will take care of mine, He will bless you 
my dear when I am gone. I hope you will be a 
I child, and then you will be happv," Then 
1 * 



( 6 ) 

laying his hand on my head, he lifted his eyes to 
heaven, and with a solemnity I shall never forget, 
said,* — " Unto God's gracious mercy and protec- 
tion I commit thee : the Lord bless thee, and keep 
thee ; the Lord lift up the light of his countenance 
upon thee, and give thee peace, and make thee his 
child and faithful servant to thy life's end !" I can- 
not find words to express what were the feelings of 
my heart on this occasion. Love for my valuable 
and affectionate parent ; grief to reflect I was now 
losing him, and gratitude that his dying lips had 
pronounced such a blessing on my head, quite over- 
powered me. I fell on my knees, gave vent to a 
flood of tears, and continued to weep till my eyes 
were almost swelled up. He died the tenth of 
April, 1765. 

My grief for some time would not suffer me to 
take recreations of any kind ; but I would sit and 
read to my mother, or weep with her. But after 
a season, I was invited to the houses of relations 
and friends ; and as I soon became a laughing 
stock among them for my seriousness, and dislike 
to their manners and their plays, I began to be 
ashamed of being so particular ! My mother was 
also now prevailed on to let me learn to dance, in 
order to raise my spirits $&n improve my carriage, 
&c. This was a fatal stab to my seriousness and 
divine impressions ; it paved the way to lightness, 
trifling, love of pleasure, and various evils. As I 
soon made a proficiency, I delighted much in this 
ensnaring folly. My pride was fed by being ad- 
mired, and began to make itself manifest with all 
its fruits. I now aimed to excel my companions, 
not in piety, but in fashionable dress ! and could 
not rest long together without being engaged in 
parties of pleasure, and especially in this (what the 
wdild calls) innocent amusement. I also obtained 
nil the novels and romances I possibly could, and 



( 7 ) 

spent some time every day in reading them ; though 
at first it was unknown to my mother, who would 
not then suffer it. After this, I attended plays al- 
so. In short, I fell into all the vain customs and 
pleasures of a delusive world, as far as my situa- 
tion in life would admit ; and even beyond the pro- 
per limits of that station God had placed me in. 
Thus was my precious time misspent, and my fool- 
ish heart wandering far from happiness and God ; 
yea, urging on to endless ruin ! Yet in all this, I 
was not left without keen convictions, gentle draw- 
ings, and many short-lived good resolutions, espe- 
cially till fifteen years of age. God often wrought 
strongly upon my mind, and that various ways, of 
which I come now to speak. But O ! how did I 
grieve and resist the Holy Ghost ! How justly 
might he have given me up ; yea, and sealed me 
over to eternal destruction. 

At thirteen years old, namely, in the year 1 769, 
the bishop of Chester being to hold a confirmation 
at Macclesfield, I resolved to attend that ordinance, 
though it was with many fears and much trembling; 
for I believed till persons were confirmed they 
were not alike accountable to God for their own 
conduct. But when this solemn renewal of the 
baptismal covenant was made in their own persons, 
then whosoever did not keep that covenant must 
perish everlastingly ! I therefore endeavoured se- 
riously to understand the import of it, and was 
deeply convinced I was neither inwardly nor out- 
wardly what it required. The knowledge of this 
wrought much sorrow ; and I formed strong reso- 
lutions to lead a new life. Yet sin had so blinded 
my eyes, that I could not at this time believe, or at 
least I would not, that dancing, cards, or attending 
plays, were sinful These therefore I did not even 
ve against. But I resolved against anger, 
pride, disobedience to my parent } also the neglect 



( 8 ) 

of secret prayer and church-going ; with all wan- 
derings of heart in those duties, and a variety of 
other evil tempers, &c. which I knew myself guilty 
of. Having humbled myself before God, fasted 
and prayed, and (as I vainly thought) fortified my- 
self by these resolutions, of keeping all God's com- 
mands in future, I ventured to take upon me the 
solemn vow. But such was my fear and trembling 
at the time, that when I approached the altar I was 
near fainting ; and when returned to the pew, burst 
into a flood of tears. This was on Whitsunday ; 
and I intended to receive the holy sacrament the 
Sunday following. But before I came, I was con- 
scious I had already broken my solemn vows ; and 
on the reflection, my distress was great, and I had 
many doubts whether partaking of the Lord's Sup- 
per would not be sealing my own damnation. How- 
ever, one day as I was praying, it came into my 
mind, this holy sacrament is called a mean of 
grace; surely then it is just what so sinful, so- 
helpless a soul wants: I will go to it then as a 
mean whereby to receive strength and grace to 
conquer sin in future. In this view of that bless- 
ed ordinance I found much comfort j and I am 
now assured it was from the Lord, whom igno- 
rantly I was feeling after. I approached the Lord's 
table therefore, with renewed vows, and renewed 
hopes: but alas ! these also were as the "morn- 
ing cloud, and as the early dew which passeth 
away." For several months I thus repented and 
sinned, resolved and broke all my resolutions ; sin- 
ned and repented again. I dared not to receive 
the Lord's Supper without resolving on a new life : 
neither dared I to stay from it ; nor did I ever 
attend without being wrought on by the Spirit of 
God. 

The latter end of this year I had a malignant fe- 
ver, and believed I should die. I felt myself to- 



( 9 ) 

tally unprepared to appear before a holy God, and 
was ii\ great distress : I earnestly entreated him to 
spare me a little longer, and resolved I would then 
lead a new life indeed. A patient forbearing God 
of love listened to my request, and did not cut the 
fig-tree down. One night during this illness I 
dreamed my soul was departed out of the body, 
and I, with three of my cousins,* (with whom I 
had a close intimacy, and who I thought had left 
the body also) were waiting in dreadful expectation 
of being summoned to the bar of God : and we all 
. believed our doom would be everlasting darkness ! 
My sins all appeared as in array against me in the 
court of conscience, and my mouth was stopped : 
I had no plea whatever, no hope ; for it seemed the 
justice of God must unavoidably sentence me to 
endless misery, which I felt to be my real desert ; 
and was bewailing my own folly with bitter cries 
and lamentations. Their employ I thought was 
the same ; each for ourselves, dreading " the worm 
that dieth not, and the fire which never shall be 
quenched !" When suddenly there appeared a cloud 
of uncommon brightness, and soon after a glorious 
angel descended in the cloud, and stood before us, 
clothed in white, with a majesty and beauty not to 
be described. We beheld his approach with trem- 
bling awe, and almost an agony of despair ; believ- 
ing he was sent to summon us to appear and receive 
the deserved but dreadful sentence, " Depart ye 
accursed !" But to our inconceivable surprise, he 
smiled on us with heavenly sweetness, and said, 
" The Lord Jesus Christ has forgiven all your sins, 

* .V. B. These three cousins were, Robert Roe* whose ex- 
perience and death is related in the Arminian Magazine ; and 
two of his sisters, Mary and Frances. These are all asleep in 
Jesus, and their happy spirits rejoicing before his throne : 
though at the time of this dream they were utterly unawa 

ft&d. 



( io ) 

and washed you in his own blood, and I am come 
to bid you enter into the joy of your Lord, and to 
conduct you into his blissful presence !" Being now 
suddenly transported from depths of misery into 
joy unspeakable, love beyond compare, and extreme 
delight ; I thought I sprang up, clapped my hands, 
leaped for joy, and praised my God in exta- 
cies unknown before : so that it awoke me ! Never 
did I feel any thing like what I felt in this dream, 
sleeping or waking, before or after, till the Lord 
did truly speak my sins forgiven. This made a 
deep impression on my mind for some time. For 
a month or two I was very serious and circumspect; 
and read all the religious books I could meet with,. 
One of these I remember asserted, that we are all 
to be judged according to our works : therefore if 
our good works are mare than our evil ones, we 
are in a fair and sure way for heaven when we die; 
but if our evil works exceed our good, we may ex- 
pect condemnation. I thought I would impartial- 
ly examine myself by this rule, and see what hope 
I should have for my own soul on these terms. I 
therefore made a little day-book, in which I put 
down every good and bad action, with great sin- 
cerity ; at the same time praying to God to shew 
me if I was in the way to heaven or not. But then 
there were many things (as before observed) which 
I did not account sinful ; and again, many things I 
accounted good actions, because entirely ignorant 
that an impure motive, in the sight of that God who 
searcheth the heart, renders our actions, however 
splendid in the sight of men, abominable before 
him. Every act of obedience to my elders or su- 
periors, I accounted a good action ; as also every 
prayer I offered, every ordinance I attended, every 
time I spoke the truth instead of denying a fault : 
and in order to swell the number of my good ac- 
tions, I would sometimes refuse going to a play, 01 



( 11 ) 

to an entertainment, and read to my mother at 
home. Nay, with this view I have fasted whole 
days from morning till evening: but after all I 
found my bad actions more than my good ones. 
Yet I went on resolving to be better, and still keep- 
ing the account, till being at a dance, I pulled out 
my daybook with my pocket-handkerchief, and it 
was found, and made the jest of the company. I 
was then so ashamed, that I resolved to follow this 
method no more. 

I met with another book which affirmed, it was 
impossible to conquer all sins at once ; and if ever 
we would obtain victory, it must be by overcoming 
iirst one, and then another. Pride and anger I felt 
to be my most besetting sins, and therefore set my- 
self against these in particular. But I was foiled in 
every attempt, and it seemed as the poet says, 
ic The more I strove against its power, I sinn'd and 
stumbl'd but the more." So that this trial only 
made a more clear discovery that pride was inter- 
woven with my every thought, and word, and action. 
I was now quite discouraged, and thought it was 
all in vain to strive for a victory so impossible to 
gain ! I then looked round, and considered the 
conduct of others ; and when I saw them more 
trifling, more wicked than myself, and some of 
them, who passed for amiable characters, guilty of 
things which my soul shuddered at ; I began 
to conclude, I was very good, compared with 
these : and surely all these would not be doomed 
to hell and damnation ! That God was merciful, 
Christ died for sinners, and therefore if I lived a 
tolerable moral life, he would pardon the rest, and 
accept me through the merits of Christ in the hour 
of death ; or at least, I had as good a chance as 
others ; and therefore would cast away fear, and 
live like the rest of my moral neighbours. I was 
sometime however before 1 had so resisted the con- 



( 12 ) 

victions of the Spirit of God, as to remain at ease : 
he strove with me various ways, till I was a little 
more than fifteen. But I so repeatedly grieved 
and quenched the motions of that Holy Spirit,, 
that I was then in some measure given up to my 
own foolish rebellious heart. Dress, novels, plays, 
cards, assemblies and balls, took up the most of my 
time ; so that my mother began to fear the conse- 
quences of my living so much above my station in 
life. But I would not now listen to her admoni- 
tions. I loved pleasures, and after them I would 
go. 

What increased my vanity and pride was, that I 
was much beloved by my godmother, a lady 
of very considerable fortune, and often spent most 
of the summer months at Adlington with her; 
where I was always treated as if she intended 
to bestow a handsome fortune on me. She intro- 
duced me into the company of those in high life, 
and enabled me by large presents, to dress in 
a manner suitable to such company. O how fatal 
in general are such prospects to a young mind ! 
Yet in all this, I still wished to preserve a religious 
appearance. I still frequented church and sacra- 
ments, still prayed night and morning, fasted 
sometimes, and especially in lent ; and because I 
<lid v .hese things, esteemed myself a far better 
christian than my neighbours. Yea, so blind was 
I, that I had a better opinion now of my own 
goodness than formerly, when I was far more 
earnest about salvation. What a proof that sin 
darkens the understanding ! 

In the summer of 1773, 1 was at Adlington with 
my godmother above-mentioned ; when I heard 
various accounts of a clergyman., whom my uncle 
Roe had recommended to be curate at Macclesfield, 
and who was said to be a Methodist. This con- 
veyed to my mind as unpleasing an idea of him, as 



( 13 ) 

If be had been called a Romish priest; being fully 
persuaded that to be a Methodist was to be all that 
is vile, under the mask of piety. These prejudices 
were owing to the false stories which from time to 
time I heard repeated to my father, when about 
seven or eight years old; and also many more, 
which my mother heard after his death, and to the 
present time : so that I believed their teachers 
were the false prophets spoken of in scripture : that 
they deceived the illiterate, and were little better 
than common pick-pockets : that they filled some 
of their hearers with presumption, and drove others 
to despair : that with respect to their doctrines, 
they enforced chiefly, that whosoever embraced 
their tenets, which they called faith, might live as 
they pleased, in all sin, and be sure of salvation : 
and that all the world besides must be damned 
without remedy : that they had dark meetings, and 
pretended to cast out devils, with many other 
things equally false and absurd ; but all of which I 
believed. I heard also, that this new clergyman 
preached against all my favourite diversions, such 
as going to plays, reading novels, attending balls, 
assemblies, card-tables, &c. But I resolved he 
should not make a convert of me ; and that if 
I found him, on my return home, such as was re- 
presented, I would not go often to hear him. 

When I came back to Macclesfield, the whole 
town was in alarm. My uncle Roe, and my cou- 
sins, seemed very fond of Mr. Simpson, and told 
me he was a most excellent man : but that all the 
rest of my relations were exasperated against him. 
I asked, is it true he preaches against dancing ? 
and said, I was resolved to take the first opportu- 
nity of conversing with him, being certain I could 
easily prove such amusements were not sinful. Be- 
ing told what arguments he made use of, I revol- 
ved them in my mind ; fully determined if I found 



( « ) 

upon reflection I could answer them, I would. I 
first considered if any scripture example could be 
brought. I remembered to have read of Miriam's 
dancing ; but it was to express her pious joy to the 
X<ord, and as an act of worship, accompanied by a 
hymn of praise. David danced also, but it was in 
like manner, and from like motives. Herod's 
daughter danced, but she was a heathen, and the 
cause of beheading a servant of God. Nothing 
therefore which I found in scripture countenanced 
dancing, in any measure. I then began to consider 
the objections urged against it. One of these was, 
that as it tends to levity and trifling mirth, so it 
enervates the mind, dissipates the thoughts, weak- 
ens, if not stifles, serious and good impressions ; 
and quite indisposes the mind for prayer* I ask- 
ed my own heart, Is not this a truth ? conscience 
answered in the affirmative. Mr. Simpson pleads 
further, What good is promoted hereby ? I would 
gladly have had it to urge, it promotes health : but 
many instances of those who had lost health, and 
even life, within my own knowledge, through at- 
tending this very diversion, would not permit this : 
among others I had a recent proof in Miss H — , 
who, by a violent cold and surfeit got at an assem- 
bly, was thrown into a galloping consumption, and 
in a few months fled to an awful eternity. Again, 
he pleads, are you made better christians, better 
husbands, better children hereby ? Better christians, 
I was conscious none could be, for having the mind 
dissipated, and unfitted for prayer. Some husbands 
I knew who v/ert not made better, and some wives, 
who, to support extravagant dress on such occasions, 
had greatly injured their families. For my own 
part, I was conscious it had led me to dress and to 
expenses not suited to my present situation in life* 
These thoughts brought powerful convictions to 
my mind, notwithstanding my desire to resist them. 



( 15 ) 



I could not deny that truth in particular, that those 
who habitually attend such pleasures lose all relish 
for spiritual things : God is shut out of their 
thoughts and hearts, prayer, if they use any, is full 
of wanderings, or perhaps wholly neglected; and 
death put as far as possible out of sight, lest the 
thought should spoil their pleasures. I was con- 
scious beyond a dofibt, these were the fruits this 
delusive pleasure had wrought in my own soul : 
and comparing my present state of mind with what 
it was before I entered upon this diversion, so mis- 
takenly called innocent, I found cause to be deeply 
ashamed. But then, if this is really true, (said I 
to myself,) I ought not to follow this amusement 
any longer. And can I give it up ? My vile heart 
replied, I cannot, I will not. The Spirit of God 
whispered, Will you then indulge yourself in what 
you know to be sin ? Would you wish to be struck 
dead in the ball-room ? My conflict was great, yet 
I was resolved to run all hazards rather than give 
up this pleasure. Therefore I stifled these convic- 
tions with all my might ; and after this, ran more 
eagerly than ever into all pleasurable follies. O 
my patient, long-suffering God, tears of grateful 
love and praise overflow mine eyes, when I con- 
sider my deep rebellion, and thy sparing mercy ! 

About this time I grew tired of novels, and took 
great delight in reading history. I went through 
several English and Roman histories, Rollings An- 
cient History, and Stackhouse's History of the 
Bible, intending to go through the Universal His- 
tory also. And now I believed myself far wiser 
than any person of my age. Upon the whole, I 
believe I was at this time on the pinnacle of de- 
struction! and had a just and holy God then cut 
the brittle thread of life, I know I should have 
sunk into hell. But love had swifter wings than 
death, and mercy to my rescue flew ! 



( 1* ) 

In October, 1773, a neighbour of my mother's 
being very ill, and very poor, I went to visit her, 
and found her, to my great surprise, joyfully tri- 
umphing over death, yea, longing to be gone. This 
affected me much ; for I felt I was in a quite dif- 
ferent state ; that if death should approach me, he 
would be a king of terrors J And I had no hopes 
of happiness beyond the grave. About this time 
also, Mr. Simpson's sermons began to sink more 
deeply into my heart. So great was my obstinacy 
and folly, that I would come out of church weepings 
and with the next person I met would ridicule the 
sermon that affected me, lest I should be thought, 
or called a Methodist ! I began, however, in my 
serious moments, to resolve again and again I 
would break off my sins by true repentance ; and 
especially that I would dance no more. Yet time 
after time I was prevailed on by my carnal friends, 
and broke the promises I had made to my God. 

January the first, 1774, I was deeply wrought 
upon by a sermon preached on, " What shall it 
profit a man if he gain the whole world and lose 
his own soul ?" And soon Tifter, under another, on 
the epistle to the church of Laodicea. Again, 
while Mr. Simpson preached on the new birth, 
from John iii. 3* I saw, and felt as I had never 
done before, that I must experience that divine 
change, or perish. But I had still one great hind* 
ranee, which I have not yet mentioned, namely, a 
young person, for whom I had a sincere affection : 
He and two of his sisters, with whom also I had 
formed a strict intimacy from the death of my 
father, were my constant companions ; and were 
more seriously disposed than any of the rest. How- 
ever I was sensible, if I renounced my pleasures, 
and became what God and my own conscience now 
required, I must in the first place, give him up, 
and that fully \ or he would be the means of draw- 



( 17 ) 

ing me back ; for he was yet unawakened, though 
outwardly moral. 

But I could not yet make this sacrifice. There- 
fore I continued to go to assemblies, though con- 
science bled ; and often in the midst of the dance v 
I felt as miserable as a creature could be, with a 
sense of guilt, and fears of death and hell. Some- 
times those words were applied, " It is hard for 
thee to kick against the pricks." And indeed so I 
felt it. Yet I would not acknowledge my unhap- 
piness to any, but carried it ofF with the appear- 
ance of gaiety ; and at the last assembly I ev*r at- 
tended, never sat down the whole night, but danced 
till four o'clock in the morning. Soon after this, 
however, the Lord wrpught a much deeper work 
upou my soul. 

In April, 1774, on the Sunday before Easter, 
Mr. Simpson preached from John vi. 44. " No 
man can come unto me, except the Father which 
hath sent me draw him." Explaining the draw- 
ings of the Father, he related his own experience, 
under the name of Eusebius, brought up in all mo- 
ral duties, an attendant on church and sacrament, 
and one who said many prayers. Yet when twen- 
ty-two years old, was deeply convinced he had 
never been a christian. Could then say feelingly, 
what he had often before repeated in words only, 
" The remembrance of my sins is grievous unto 
me : The burden of them is intolerable." [All 
this sunk into my very soul*; this was just my case.] 
He mourned, and wept, and prayed ! And one 
day as he was in prayer, and had such a view of 
his past sinfulness, and present guilt and pollution, 
as almost deprived him of all hope, the Lord sud- 
denly removed his burden, and spoke pardon and 
peace to his soul, so that he felt his sins were all 
forgiven. Lord, said , if this is truth, (and I 
cannot disbelieve it) never let me rest till i obtain 

2 * 



( 18 ) 

a like blessing. He went on to observe the nature 
of this change, and the objections made in our day 
to this doctrine of the new birth. One of these ob- 
jections he dwelt upon, viz. " We are born again 
when baptized j" but proved, if it were even so, 
we must still repent anew, and be forgiven, since 
all have broken the baptismal vow. Then he ap- 
pealed to each ; " Have you renounced the devil 
and all his works, the pomps and vanities of this 
wicked world, with every sinful desire ?" while I 
could only plead guilty, guilty. " Have you never 
taken the name of God in vain ! never profaned 
his sabbaths ? never set up idols in your heart ? If 
you have done these things, you have broken the 
first four commandments *if God." I pleaded 
guilty here also: for though with respect to the 
third, I could not accuse myself of profanely swear- 
ing, or even naming my Maker in conversation, as 
many do : yet this prohibition also condemned me, 
in having taken the name of God in vain into my 
polluted lips in his house of worship ; and appear- 
ing before men engaged in devotion, while my 
heart was wandering to the ends of the earth. As 
he passed through the rest of the commandments, 
I could still plead nothing but guilty. And when 
in the application of his sermon, he asked, " Now 
what - think you of the state of your souls before 
God ?" I felt myself indeed a lost, perishing, un- 
done sinner : a rebel against repeated convictions 
and drawings ; a rebel against light and knowledge, 
a condemned criminal by the law of God, who de- 
served to be sentenced to eternal pain ! I felt I had 
broken my baptismal vow ; my confirmation vow; 
my sacramental vows ; and had no title to claim 
any mercy, any hope,, any plea ? I wept aloud, so 
that all around me were amazed ; nor was i any 
longer ashamed to own the cause. I \^ent home, 
ran up stairs, and fell on my knees ; and made a 



( 19 ) 

solemn vow to renounce and forsake all my sinful 
pleasures, and trifling companions. 

I slept not that night ; but arose early next 
morning, and without telling my mother, took all 
my finery, high dressed caps, &c. &c. and ripped 
them all up, so that I could wear them no more ; 
then cut my hair short, that it might not be in my 
own power to have it dressed, and in the most 
solemn manner, vowed never to dance again ! I 
could do nothing now but bewail my own sinful- 
ness, and cry for mercy. I could not eat, or sleep, 
or take any comfort. The curses throughout the 
whole Bible seemed pointed all at me ; and I 
could not claim a single promise. I saw my whole 
life had been nothing but sin and rebellion against 
my Creator, Redeemer, and Sanctifier ; and I 
feared it was now too late to seek mercy. 

Thus I continued till Good Friday. My mother 
thought I was losing my senses, and all my friends 
endeavoured to comfort me in vain. After many 
conflicts and strong fears, I ventured however once 
more, to approach the Lord's table, encouraged by 
those words, "A broken and a contrite heart, O 
God, thou wilt not despise." As Mr. Simp- 
son was reading that sentence in the communion 
service, u If any man sin, we have an advocate 
with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous ; and 
he is the propitiation for our sins," a ray of divine 
light and comfort was darted on my soul, and 
I cried, Lord Jesus, let me feel thou art the propi- 
tiation for my sins. I was enabled to believe, 
there was mercy for me ; and I, even I, should be 
saved ! I felt love to God spring up in my heart, 
and in a measure could rejoice in him, so that I 
would have given all the world to have died that 
moment. But alas, this was only for a short sea- 
son ! In the evening one of my cousins calling on 
me, who had bpen a witness to my late distress ; I 



( so ) 

told her of the comfort I had received; and added > 
I am now not afraid to die. She immediately ex- 
claimed, it would be great presumption to say so, 
for even Mr. Simpson, whom she believed the 
best man on earth, said he deserved to go to hell, 
My joy was damped immediately ; and satan tell- 
ing me I had deceived myself, I gave up my confi- 
dence, last my peace, and became again very 
unhappy. 

it had been well for me, if I had then known the 
Methodists ; but i had none to instruct me. Yet 
my distress was not the same as before. I had 
now a ray of hope in God, that he would make me 
a new creature by grace : and those horrible and 
slavish fears of hell were removed. I felt my 
nature all depraved, and my soul full of wounds, 
and bruised by sin. Yea, and I abhorred myself, 
truly repenting before my God, and seeking him 
with my whole heart, in every means of grace. I 
had never yet heard the Methodists ; nor had 
I lost all my prejudices against them ; but a 
neighbour who had lately found peace with God, 
advised me strongly to go; and assured me they 
had been the means of great blessings to his souL 
I would not promise, but resolved to go privately, 
so that neither the preacher, nor any other person^ 
shbuld know of it till afterwards. I soon after went 
at five o'clock one morning, and got into a private 
seat. Mr. Samuel Bardsly preached from, " Com- 
fort ye, comfort ye my people, saith your God." I 
thought every word was for me ! He spoke to my 
heart as if he had known all the secret workings 
there ; and pointed all such sinners as I felt myself 
to be, to Jesus crucified. I was much comforted £ 
my prejudices were now fully removed, and I re- 
ceived a full and clear conviction, " These are the 
people of God, and shew," in truth, " the way of 
salvation." 



( 21 ) 

But now I had new difficulties to encounter : I 
knew if I persisted in hearing the Methodists, I 
must literally give up all. My mother had already 
threatened, if ever she knew me to hear them, she 
would disown me. Every friend and relation 
I had in the world, I had reason to believe would 
do the same. I had no acquaintance then among 
the Methodists to take me in ; nor knew any re- 
fuge to fly to but my God* I used much prayer, 
and entreated him to shew me his will ; when 
those words were powerfully applied, " Did ever 
any trust in the Lord, and was confounded?" I an- 
swered, No, Lord ; and I will trust thee ! But sa- 
tan suggested, "Thou hast no right to trust God : 
thou art not his child, but a sinner, a rebel !" I fell 
en my knees,, and cried, "Lord, I am a repenting 
sinner, and thou knowest I have laid down my 
weapons of rebellion ! If I perish, I will perish at 
thy feet ! only shew me thy will, and here I am." 
It was then applied, "If any man will come after 
me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross and 
follow me," I cried, " Lord, I will forsake all, and 
follow thee : I will joyfully bear thy cross ; only 
give me thyself!" From that time I resolved 
I would at all hazards, attend the preaching. I 
did so at all opportunities, and it was a great com- 
fort to me. 

But when my mother heard of it; a floodgate 
of persecution opened upon me ! In this tima 
of need, God raised me up a friend in my uncle 
Roe, which prevented my mother turning me out 
of doors. Yet what I suffered, sometimes through 
her tears and entreaties, and at other times her se- 
verity, is known only to God. But he strengthen- 
ed a feeble worm, and enabled me to endure all 
with meekness, as seeing him who is invisible. For 
eight weeks, however, I was closely confined. My 
godmother came to talk with me ; so did mv mo- 



( 22 ) 

ther's brother, and my father's sister ; also a cler- 
gyman, and several others ; but the Lord gave me 
a mouth and wisdom to plead my own cause, with 
arguments from his word, so that they were in 
some measure all put to silence. 

In August, my mother took me wkh her to Ad- 
lington, on our usual summer's visit ; though now 
quite contrary to my inclination ; for I found it a 
great grief to be separated from the means of 
grace, and from the dear people of God, Yet 
I dared not refuse her all obedience, which I 
could render with a safe conscience. And though 
I believe she hoped to wean me feom (what she 
called) my melancholy and enthusiasm, hereby; yet 
the Lord kept me steadfast and unmoveable. The 
deep sense I had of my own weakness and inabi- 
lity to resist evil, or follow that which is good: and 
the great fears I had of ever again grieving the 
Holy Spirit, lest he should strive with me no more 
for ever, convinced me of the absolute need 
of using much and constant prayer. I therefore 
left all company many times in a day to retire m 
secret. I refused to conform in dress, or in any 
thing my conscience disapproved; and when called 
upon, gave reasons for my conduct as the Lord 
eoabled me ; but always with meekness, and often 
with tears of self-abasement : so that in a little 
time, finding all their efforts vain, they began to let 
me alone. Only I was made to understand I had 
now nothing to expect from my godmother, as to 
temporal things. This however weighed nothing* 
with, me, for all my language was, 

*' None bat Christ to me be given, 
None but Christ in earth or heaven." 

In October we returned home : and I now rea- 
soned with my mother, and entreated her not to 
confine me any more : telling her in humility, and 



( 23 ) 

yet plainness, I r.vast seek salvation to my soul, 
whatever is the consequence ! And in order to ob- 
tain the end, I must use the means. I am there- 
fore determined to leave you, and go to be a ser- 
vant, rather than be kept from the Methodists. Yet 
if you will consent to it, I should greatly prefer 
continuing in your house, though it should be as 
vour servant : and I am willing to undertake all the 
work of the house, if you will only suffer me to 
attend preaching. She listened to my proposals ; 
and after consulting with her friends, consented to 
comply on this last condition : for she and they 
were agreed that I, who had never been accustom- 
ed to hard labour would soon be weary and give it 
up. But they knew not the power and goodness 
of that God who strengthened me in all my 
tribulation. 

November the first, I entered upon my new em^ 
ployments joyfully; undertaking my every labour 
for his sake who bled for me on Calvary ! And be- 
gan to feel at times much comfort, and reviving 
hopes, that my redemption drew near; and the 
happy hour when I should praise a pardoning God. 
JVlr. Wesley's sermon on Justification, was a 
great encouragement to me, on those words, " To 
him that worketh not, but believeth on him that 
justifieth the ungodly, his faith is imputed to him 
for righteousness." This sermon I read many 
times over with prayer, and could sometimes 
almost embrace the promises. 

On Monday, Nov. 10th, I had strong conflicts 
with satan, who told me I had as good give up all, 
for I should never obtain a pardon ! i had sinned 
beyond hope ! I felt my heart very hard, and he 
suggested, " This is a proof that God has given 
thee up to hardness and impenitence. Where is 
thy repentance and tears, and brokenness of heart? 
If thou couldst repent, and weep, and mourn like 



( 24 ) 

others, there would be hope ! But where is thy 
sorrow for sin? Thou canst not shed a tear." I 
was so burdened and distressed that day, that 
I could not go forward with my work; and my 
mother reproached me. But I besieged the throne 
of grace, with strong crying and supplications, to 
him that was able to save, and who well knew the 
Spirit's groaning in my heart. 

My cousin Charles Roe, then much devoted to 
God, put into my hands a little pamphlet entitled, 
44 The Great Duty of believing on the Son of 
God." Jesus was here set forth in all his loveli- 
ness of free grace, towards a poor returning prodi- 
gal, as every way suited to the sinner's wants ; 
and all-sufficient to save the vilest of the vile. As 
willing now, even as willing, as when he hung on 
Calvary, bleeding and dying to save sinners : yea 
his very murderers ! I was much encouraged in 
reading this : and would gladly have spent the 
night in prayer; but my mother, (with whom 
I slept) would not suffer it. I therefore went to 
bed, but could not sleep : and at four in the morn- 
ing rose again, that i might wrestle with the Lord. 
I prayed, but it seemed in vain ! 1 walked to and 
fro, groaning for mercy; then fell again on 
my knees ; but the heavens appeared as brass, and 
hope seemed almost sunk into despair ! When sud- 
denly, the Lord spake that promise to my heart ; 
" Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt 
be saved." I revived, and cried, " Lord, 1 know 
this is thy word, and I can depend on it. But what 
is faith ? O shew me how to believe : shew me 
what is the gospel faith, or I am yet undone ! I de- 
sire not deliverance, except in thy own way : I de- 
sire no happiness, but thy favour. What shall I 
do ? O teach me, O help me, or I ajn lost !" That 
word came with divine evidence and sweetness to 
my heart,' " Cast all thy care upon him, for 



( 25 ) 

he careth for thee," I said, " Lord, dost thou care 
for me ! and is this faith, to cast all my care, even 
all my sins, (for i have no other care,) upon thee ? 
M ty i ? D >st thou bid me ? a poor hell-deserving 
sinner; a s. ; nner against light, and conviction, and 
repeated vows ; can such love dwell in thee ? Is it 
not too easy a way? May I, even I, be saved, if I 
only cast my soul on Jesus. My burden of sin ; 
my load of guilt, my every crime ? What ! Saved 
from all this guilt; saved into the favour of God! 
the holy God ! and become his child ; and that 
now ;— -this moment !— O it is too great ; — it can- 
not, surely it cannot be ! (O what a struggle had 
satan and unbelief, with my helpless, sinful soul !) 
But the Lord applied, " fear not, only believe." 
Satan suggested, take care ! suppose Jesus Christ 
should fail thee ; suppose he is not God ! What if 
he was an impostor, as the Jews believe ! O the 
agony my soul felt at that moment. But I cried, 
ic If this be so, I am undone without remedy ! 
None but such a Saviour as Jesus declares himself 
to be, (God as well as man) can save my guilty, 
polluted soul. The blood of God Man alone, can 
atone for me ! His power alone can change my re- 
bel heart ; my disease is too deep for any other. 
I can only perish, nothing can be worse ; so there 
is no hazard. If he is God, he is able, and 
he will save me according to his promise," "Come 
unto me ill ye that labour and are heavy laden, and 
I will give you rest." If he is God, he must be 
Truth, and cannot deceive me. And if not, a holy 
God will be a consuming fire to the sinner ! And 
there is no saviour, no way of salvation ; 1 must 
endure the desert of my sins ; I must endure 
everlasting burnings ; and therefore, here I will iie 
and perish at his feet ! Again it came, " Only be- 
lieve." " Lord Jesus," said I, " I will, I do be- 
lieve ;, I now venture my whole salvation upon 



( 26 ) 

thee as God ! I put my guilty soul into thy hands* 
thy blood is sufficient ! I cast my soul upon thee, 
for time and eternity. 5 ' Then did he appear to my 
salvation. In that moment^ my fetters were bro- 
ken; my bands were loosed; and my soul set at 
liberty. The love of God was shed abroad in my 
heart; and I rejoiced with joy unspeakable. Now, 
if I had possessed ten thousand souls, I could have 
ventured them all with my Jesus. I would have 
given them all to him ! I felt a thousand promises 
all my own ; more than a thousand scriptures to 
confirm my evidence. Such as, " He that believeth 
shall be saved :- — Shall not perish : — Is not con- 
demned : — Hath everlasting life : — Ts passed from 
death unto life: — Shall never die: — There is no 
condemnation to them that are in Christ Jesus :" 
Sec. &c. &c. I could now call Jesus Lord, by the 
Holy Ghost; and the Father, my father. My sins 
were gone, my soul was happy ; and I longed to 
depart and be with Jesus. I was truly a new crea- 
ture ; and seemed to be in a new world ! I could 
do nothing but love and praise my God; and could 
not refrain continually repeating, Thou art my Fa- 
ther ! O God, thoU art my God! while tears of joy 
ran down my cheeks. 

My mother was astonished at the change which 
appeared in my countenance, and whole deport- 
ment : and I soon told her the happy cause ; — That 
I, a poor sinner, had received forgiveness, and 
could call God my father and my friend. Now, 
said I, I am repaid a thousand times for all I have 
suffered. One hour's experience of what I now 
feel, is, itself, rich amends for all ! But I see an 
eternity of bliss before! and added, O that you 
knew what I feel. My words and flowing tears 
made her weep : but she said little, being all won- 
der. With what joy and gratitude did I now un- 
dergo the most servile of all my employments ; 



( 27 ; 

yea, and it seemed with double strength of body; 
though I could neither eat or sleep much for many 
days and nights. The love of God shed abroad in 
my heart, was now my meat and drink : and the 
thoughts of the amazing depths of grace which had 
plucked me as a brand from the burning, quite 
overcame me ! — Me, the most obstinate offender, 
who had so long, and so repeatedly resisted, and 
grieved his Holy Spirit ! This love of my God and 
Saviour, so unmerited and free, overflowed my 
soul : nor had J for eight months any interruption 
to my bliss. 

u Not a cloud did arise, to darken the skies, 
Or hide for a moment my Lord from my eyes." 

Yet I had daily crosses to take up, and endure ; 
but I rejoiced in being accounted worthy to bear a 
cross for him who died to purchase my peace* 
The word of God was sweeter than honey, or the 
honeycomb. I generally read it on my knees ; 
ever receiving light, strength, and comfort to 
my hungry soul hereby. 

About six months after this, my cousin Robert 
Roe came from Manchester, to go to the college in 
Oxford ; being intended for a clergyman* The 
great change in me was matter of much grief 
to him. But what most astonished him, was 
to find me, instead of being melancholy and 
mopish, always happy and rejoicing in God : 
resigned to sufferings and labours, which he well 
knew I could not once have submitted to. He saw 
my pride laid in the dust ; and my soul sunk into 
-humility. In short he saw me the reverse of all I 
had been before j and comparing my present con- 
duct with the scriptures, he was constrained to own 
the power of changing grace : was convinced by 
the spirit of God that 1 was right, and of conse- 
quence, that he was not what he ought to be, and 



( 28 ) 

what he must be if ever he was saved. He soon 
became so unhappy that he had no rest, and at last 
wrote to me, entreating for his soul's sake, I would 
answer him the following questions: "How did 
you obtain the happiness you speak of ? Are you 
certain it is real, and from God ; and not a delu- 
sion, or imagination only ? Does it arise from an 
express declaration from God ; or a consciousness 
of having performed your duty ? Is it some visible 
manifestation you enjoy, or some hoped happiness? 
I know I am a great sinner ! lam miserable beyond 
expression : and can hardly hope for any thing but 
misery in time, or in eternity! I would give up all 
the world to obtain the favour of God you speak 
of; but I know not which way to attain it. If you 
can lead me in the heavenly path, you will render 
me happy indeed. O ! pray for your unhappy 
friend, &c. IL R." 

These lines, appearing the genuine language of 
sincerity, I wrote immediately in answer, a y brief 
relation of all the Lord's dealings with my soul: 
inviting him to the same loving and all-sufficient 
Saviour* I advised him to hear the Methodists, 
and go to Class-meeting ; in which he found much 
comfort, and advanced in grace daily : desiring and 
seeking nothing but Jesus crucified. And, on Oc- 
tober 17th, 1775, a few weeks only before he went 
to Oxford, the Lord set his soul at liberty : and he 
rejoiced in a clear sense of his pardoning love^ 
[The reader may find a more particular account of 
the life, trials, experience, and triumphant death of 
this Israelite indeed, in whom was no guile, in the 
Arminian Magazines for the years 1783 and 
1784, vol. 6th and 7th.] But to return. 

About seven months after I undertook to be ser- 
vant to my mother, she was seized with a fever, 
and when just recovering, had a relapse which 
threatened to be fatal ; so that for near six weeks 



( 2$ ) 

1 had to sit up with her every other night ; till at 
last my body began to fail. Indeed it was no won- 
der ; for besides all my labour and fatigue, I used 
rigorous fasting. The doctor who attended my 
mother, was moved with compassion, and insisted 
I should no longer go on with, what he called, sa- 
crificing my life. He spoke to Mrs. Legh, my 
godmother, who came next day in her chariot to 
see my mother; and to see that a proper servant, 
and all needful attendants should be got imme- 
diately. I was now freed from my happy toil, 
about eight months after I undertook it : namely, 
in August, 1775. But it was thefi nearly too 
late : my health had received such a wound, as it 
did not recover of in many years. 

My outward oppositions now began to abate ; 
and many of my enemies were at peace w T ith me. 
And now, also, the Lord began to reveal in my 
heart, that sin was not all destroyed : for though I 
had constant victory over it, yet I felt the remains 
©f anger, pride, self-will and unbelief often rising, 
'which occasioned a degree of heaviness and sor- 
row. At first, I was much amazed to feel such 
things, and often tempted to think I had lost 
a measure of grace : yet when I looked to my 
Lord, or whenever I approached him in secret, he 
shed his precious love abroad ; and bare witness 
also with rny spirit, that I was still his child. Yea* 
and at this time, I received many remarkable an- 
swers to prayer ; many proofs of his undoubted 
love and goodness to my soul : and I ever felt I 
would rather die than offend him ; so that I was a 
mystery to myself! I resolved, however, to use 
more self-denial of all kinds ; and (whatever it 
cost me with respect to health or life) more* fasting 
and prayer; for I hoped by these means to mortify 
and starve the evil tempers and propensities of my 
nature, till they should exist no more i and if in* 

3 



( 30 ) 

body expired In the combat, I thought I was certain 
of endless life. I met with some also" who told 
me, nothing but death would end this strife ! That 
this is the Christian's warfare, which cannot end 
but with the life of the body. After some time I 
began to believe these miserable comforters, and of 
consequence, longed for nothing so much as to die : 
yea, I was impatient to be gone, that I might 
be freed from sin; for I truly felt, and more 
so every day, " 'Twas worse than death my God 
to love, And not my God alone." My body was 
reduced now to a very weak state ; and I was pro- 
nounced far gone in a consumption, which I 
esteemed blessed tidings. I looked on myself as 
one that had done with earth ; and cried u O that 
I had wings like a dove, for then would I flee away 
and be at rest." Yea, so desirous was I to quit 
the vale of sin (as I called it) here below, that I 
could not be prevailed on to take any thing which 
I believed would tend to restore my health, and 
therefore continued to decline very swiftly. In 
the latter end of December, I was brought so weak 
that I could not walk about the room without help, 
and soon after took my bed, seeming apparently on 
the verge of eternity. One day, after sitting up a 
little, I felt myself so weak, that I believed I 
should rise no more, till my soul took its flight to 
the bosom of Jesus. My joy on this occasion was 
inexpressible! I begged of the'Lord strength to go 
on my knees once more ; and in holy triumph 
committed body and soul to him for eternity. I 
believed my work on earth quite finished; and was 
fdled with assurance that the moment of death 
would be to me the beginning of endless glory. A 
taste of which I then felt, a drop out of the ocean; 
a beam darted from the unclouded sun of right- 
eousness, which quite penetrated and overwhelmed 
my soul, and left me in speechless capture at his 



( » ) 

feet ! yes, I have ever believed that what I then 
felt, was what those feel and experience on leaving 
the body, who are really dying in the Lord ! But 
infinite wisdom saw good to lengthen out the thread 
of life ; and I have often believed, it was in an- 
swer to the prayers of his dear children. 

A few weeks after this, I felt a degree of disap- 
pointment and sorrow, on finding a measure of re- 
turning strength : just like a mariner, who, got 
within sight of a desired port, is beat back again into 
a tempestuous ocean. One of my cousins coming 
to see me, recommended a strengthening medicine, 
which I was unwilling to use, and told him, I 
would rather die than live. He sharply rebuked 
me for this ; saying, you set up your own will ; 
while you pretend to submit to the will of God : 
and by not taking proper medicines, you are a mur- 
derer ! I wept and said, I think I am resigned. 
He asked, are you willing to live forty years, if the 
Lord please ? I found a shrinking at the thought, 
and felt I could not at that moment say, I was will- 
ing. He left me, but his words made a deep im- 
pression. I fell on my knees as soon as left alone, 
and cried, Lord, perfectly subdue my will. That 
promise was applied with much sweetness, " Ask 
what thou wilt and it shall be done unto thee." I 
felt assuredly, my Lord permitted me to ask life 
or death, and was brought to a stand. I felt a 
thousand fears suggested, that if I lived, I might 
lose what I now enjoyed of the love of God ; and 
perhaps be one day a dishonour to his cause. But 
I said, Lord, thy grace is ever sufficient ; thou art 
as able to keep me a thousand years as one day ! 
Again it was suggested ; if thou livest it will be to 
suffer. 1 cried, Lord thou canst give me suffering 
grace, and if by suffering I can in any wise glorify 
thee, " Not as I will but as thou wilt." I know 
to die now would be instant glory ! But here I am i 



( 32 )] 

do with me whatever thou wilt ! thou knowest all 
things, and seest at one glance, past, present, and 
future. One request only, therefore, will I make ; 
If thou knowest my life would glorify thee, I sub- 
mit to thy will ; willing to suffer, or to do ! But, 
if thou foreseest I should in living, lose any mea- 
sure of what thou hast bestowed ; Lord suffer me 
not to live any longer. Or, if hereafter, at any 
time, thou seest a danger of my heart departing 
from thee ; O snatch me away to thy bosom ; and 
let me not live a moment longer than I live wholly 
for thee.-— And now, O Lord my God, I vow and 
promise unto thee I will henceforth entirely re- 
nounce my own will, respecting life or death ! I 
leave it fully in thy hands and to thy pleasure, to 
take me now, or to spare me twenty, thirty, yea 
forty years ; or as long as thou seest my life will 
bring glory to thee, and profit to immortal souls ; 
relying on thy faithful promise given me this day, 
that what " I ask shall be done :" and accounting 
it a solemn covenant betwixt me and thee [ that 
whensoever thou seest me about to be overcome 
by trials, by temptations, or snares ; so that I shall 
in heart or life depart from thee, or wound thy 
cause ; that then thou wilt put in thy sickle and 
gather me home : yea, if even at that time, I should 
be so foolish as to desire life ! Amen and amen. 
What I felt of heaven, of God, of love, at that sea- 
son, cannot be expressed. I had communion with 
my Lord, as if face to face ; and could henceforth 
chuse nothing but his will. 

From this day forth, I speedily recovered 
strength ; and in a few weeks was enabled to at- 
tend some of the means of grace* The Lord wasr 
pleased to make the preaching of Mr. Dr. Wright 
a great blessing tome. He clearly explained the 
nature of salvation from inbred sin : shewed it to 
be as freely promised in scripture, and as fully pur- 



( 33 ) 

chased by the blood of Jesus, as pardon. Also, 
that though sanctification in believers is a gradual 
work, yet the death of sin is instantaneous, and to 
be obtained by faith alone; just in like manner as 
justification." He recommended Mr. Wesley's 
Plain Account, and Farther Thoughts on Christian 
Perfection ; and Mr. Fletcher's Polemical Essay, 
especially his Address in the end of it, to imper- 
fect believers. These yet farther opened my eyes 
respecting that great salvation ; and for reading 
them, I shall praise God to all eternity. I now 
was powerfully convinced, that whenever sin is to- 
tally destroyed, it is done in a moment. From 
hence i could not rest, but cried to the Lord night 
and day, to cast out the strong man, and all his ar- 
mour of unbelief and sin : assured that the power 
of the living God, and not death, must be the exe- 
cutioner ! The blood of Jesus, the procuring cause ; 
and faith the only instrument. I had a deeper 
sense of my impurity than ever : and though l^ 
grace I was restrained from giving way outwardly, 
yet I felt such inward impatience, pride, fretfulness, 
and in short every ill temper, that at times I could 
truly say, I was weary and heavy laden. 



I here transcribe a brief extract from my journal, 
kept at the time, as it will most clearly describe the 
language of my heart. 

Thursday, January 18th, 1776, 1 was much com- 
forted by a manifest answer to prayer. After- 
wards, reading three of Mr. Fletcher's Letters to 
his Parishioners, was a great blessing. Yet in the 
evening I found many wanderings, and much dead- 
ness ; I felt dissatisfied with myself, and all around 
me, and knew not why. It might in some mea- 



( 34 ) 

sure be owing to the indisposition of my body; ? 
but I fear it was more owing to the evil of my cor- 
rupt heart. O when shall I be holy ? 

Friday, 19. I have been greatly tried inwardly 
ancl outwardly, though I have had some refreshing 
visits of love ; but I feel many evil tempers, much 
self-will that would not be contradicted, (though 
none saw it but the Lord ;) peevishness, pride, and 
unbelief greatly distressed me. My cry was this 
evening, " Create in me a clean heart, O God, and 
renew a right spirit within me." And in private 
prayer I was blessed in a wonderful manner. I lay 
at the feet of my Lord, as clay in the hands of the 
potter, only beseeching him to stamp me with his 
lovely image. 

Thursday, 25. The Lord shews me more than 
ever, I must be made holy before death : and this 
day I can say, " As the hart panteth after the wa- 
ter-brook," so thirsteth my soul for the perfect love 
of God. O may I never rest till I have received 
this blessing. Lord, I have in this respect been a 
trifler : I have been too easy, too lukewarm, while 
thy enemies have had a lurking place in my heart! 
O forgive me, and help me to be more in earnest. 
Those words were applied, while engaged in wrest- 
ling prayer, " All I have is thine !" And is not 
this salvation from sin his gift ? It is, and shall be 
mine. 

w O joyful sound of gospel grace, 
Christ shall in me appear ; 
I, even I, shall see his face, 
I shall be holy here." 

Saturday, 27. Mr. Wesley's Plain Account of 
Christian Perfection, was this day a greater bless- 
ing than before : O how very ignorant, how stu- 
pid have I been, respecting this great salvation ; 
and even yet I seem to know nothing. Lord teach 



C ** ) 

me, and save me fully. I find while pressing af- 
ter entire purity, my communion with God increa- 
ses, and I have more power to do his will. 

Friday, Feb. 2. I awoke several times in the 
hight, praying for sanctification. O the depth of 
unbelief, and of pride ! And these seem only the 
roots of many other evil branches, O my God, I 
feel my heart as a den of thieves. I loath myself, 
but O ! I fall — a leper at thy feet. I believe " the 
blood of Jesus Christ cleanseth from all sin." But 
when I would come to the fountain, I seem all ig- 
norance, and helplessness. O Lord, teach and 
strengthen me for thy mercies' sake ! 

Saturday, 3. I have had deep communion with 
my God, and much power at a throne of grace. I 
have a clear evidence of his pardoning love, and 
want nothing but his whole image stamped on my 
heart. 

Thursday, 8. I was greatly comforted this 
morning in spreading open the word of God on my 
knees, and praying for a conformity to it. I open- 
ed on 1 Thess. v. 16— ult. I see what is there 
required, is the very salvation my soul needs. O 
how is it summed up in that prayer of the apostle, 
Ai Now the very God of peace sanctify you wholly : 
and I pray God your w r hole spirit, and soul, and 
body, be preserved blameless unto the coming of 
our Lord Jesus Christ." And would St. Paul 
pray for what they could not obtain ? O no ! He 
believed that they should be both sanctified and 
preserved blameless ; for he says, " Faithful is he 
-who hath called you, who also will do it." Amen, 
Lord ! Let me, thy worthless creature, prove this 
word for Jesus' sake. 

On the morning of Feb. 22, I awoke poorly in 

body, and felt a strange hardness on my heart, and 

a great backwardness to private prayer. Satan 

! me, if I prayed, it would be only solemn mock- 



C 36 ) 

£ry ; for my body would so weigh down my soul, 
that while my words flew up, my thoughts would 
remain below, and I should obtain no blessing. 
But I cried, " Lord help me, 55 and fell instantly on 
my knees : for a few moments my ideas were all 
distraction ; but the mighty God spoke to the 
troubled ocean, " Peace, be still !" and there fol- 
lowed a great calm throughout my souL My in- 
tercourse was now open with my Beloved, and va- 
rious promises presented to my believing view. I 
thought shall I now ask small blessings only of my 
God I Lord, cried I, make this the moment of my 
full salvation ! Baptise me now with the Holy 
Ghost, and the lire of pure love. Now, " Make 
me a clean heart, and renew a right spirit within 
me." Now, enter thy temple, and cast out sin for 
ever. Now, cleanse the thoughts, desires, and 
propensities of my heart, and let me perfectly love 
thee. But here satan raised all his force of tempt- 
ations to oppose me ; telling me, I had not been 
long enough justified ; I had more to suffer first, 
5kc. And my ideas not being yet clear in the na- 
ture of this blessing, gave the enemy an advantage. 
"For I thought when fully saved from sin, I could 
suffer no more ; feel no more pain ; make no more 
mistakes; my judgment and memory would be 
perfect, and I should feel temptation no more! 
Therefore this suggestion, that I had to suffer much 
first, had the more plausibility. But in that mo* 
ment, I received light from above, and cried, 
ct Lord, till my heart is renewed, I cannot suffer as 
I ought : give me perfect love, and 1 can then bear 
all things !" But, said satan, If. this blessing were 
given, thou wouldst soon lose it again, in such and 
such trials which lie before thee : get those trials 
past, and then come for this blessing. But I cried, 
iC Lord, I cannot stand those trials without it. O 
purify my heart, that I may be able to stand in the 



( sr ) 

trying hour ! If I face my subtle enemies, while I 
have a traitor within, ever ready to betray me into 
their hands, how shall I be able to stand ?" But if 
that " strong man armed, be cast out, with all his 
armour ;" how much more able shall I be to con- 
tend with my outward enemies. Many other temp- 
tations were injected ; but I cried so much the 
more, " Lord, save me V* And the Lord gave me 
that promise, " I will circumcise thy heart, and 
thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy 
heart," &c. I said, " Lord thou art faithful, and 
this is thy w r ord, I cast my whole soul upon thy 
promise ; make Mown thy faithfulness, by perform- 
ing it on my Jteart, Circumcise it now, fill it now 
with thy .jnire love : sanctify every faculty of my 
soul ; I- offer all to thee, I give thee all my powers, 
I take thee, Almighty Jesus, for my wisdom, my 
righteousness, my sanctification. 55 Now " Cleanse 
me from all my filthiness and from all my idols ; 
take away the heart of stone, and give me a heart 
of flesh. 55 I come empty to be filled ; deny me 
not. It would be for thy own glory to save me 
now i for how much better could I serve thee ! It 
is true, I have no plea but thy mercy ! The blood 
of Jesus, thy promise, and my own great need. 
O save me fully, by an act of free grace. Thou 
hast said, " He that believeth shall be saved :' 5 I 
now take thee at thy word : I do by faith cast my- 
self) on thy promise. I venture my soul on thy ve- 
racity ; thou canst not deny ! Being purchased by 
thy blood, thy justice is engaged : being promised 
without money and without price, thy truth is 
bound : thus every attribute of my God secures it 
to me, 

Ah ! why did I ever doubt his willingness, 
j when he gave Jesus ! Gave him to u destroy the 

rks of the devil: — to make an end of sin!'* 
The hindrance lav in me, not him. He desired to 

4 



( 38 ) 

make me holy, but unbelief hid it from my eyes : 
accursed sin ! But now, Lord, I do believe ; this 
moment thou dost save. Yea, Lord, my soul is 
delivered of her burden. I am emptied of all : I 
am at thy feet, a helpless, worthless worm : but I 
take hold of thee as my fulness ! Every thing that 
I want, thou art. Thou art wisdom, strength, love, 
holiness : yes, and thou art mine ! I am conquer- 
ed and subdued by love. Thy love sinks me into 
nothing ; it overflows my soul. ' O my Jesus, thou 
art all in all ! In thee I behold, and feel, all the 
fulness of the godhead mine. I am now one with 
God ; the intercourse is open : sin, inbred sin, no 
longer hinders the close communion, and God is 
all my own ! 

O the depth of solid peace my soul now felt .! 
But not so much rapturous joy, as at justification. 
It was 

"The sacred awe, which dares not move ; 
And all the jsilent heaven of love !" 

Yet when I rose from my knees, sata*i once more 
assaulted me with, Thou art going to face various 
irials, and a cooling world; thou wilt soon lose 
this blessing." But instantly that scripture was 
given me, " He that keepeth Israel, neither slum- 
bereth nor sleepeth : The Lord himself is thy 
keeper ! it is even He that shall preserve thy soul : 
The Lord shall preserve thy going out, and thy 
coming in from this time forth and for evermore.** 
" Lord," said I, " I feel my own insufficiency ; I 
can do nothing ; I can resist nothing^ but I com- 
mit the powers of my soul, the avenues of my heart, 
to thy keeping," Again, he graciously applied ; 
" Blessed is she that believed : for there shall be 
a performance of those things which were told her 
from the Lord." " My God," said I, " it is enough f 
My soul does trust thee, and I will praise thee." 



( 39 ) 

I now walked in the unclouded light of his coun- 
tenance > " Rejoicing evermore, praying without 
ceasing, and in every thing giving thanks." I re- 
solved, however, at first, I would not openly declare 
what the Lord had wrought : but it was seen in 
my countenance ,* and when asked respecting it, I 
durst not deny the wonders of his love! I soon 
found that repeating his goodness confirmed my 
own faith more and more. And so did the Lord 
bless me in declaring it, (yea, and blessed others 
also,) that I was constrained to witness to all who 
feared him : 

" His blood can make the foulest clean ; 
His blood avail'd for me." 

I dared not to live above a moment at a time ; and 
that moment by faith in the Son of God. I never 
felt till now the full meaning of those words : " In 
him we live, and move, and have our being." And 
again, " I will dwell in thqm, and walk in them, 
and be their God : I will put my laws into their 
minds, and write them in their hearts." Glory be 
to my God, I felt it written there : it was, I no 
longer lived, but Christ that lived in me ! 

" Yea, Christ was all in all to me ; 
And all my heart w as love." 

Friday, 23. Glory, honour, and eternal praise 
be to the God of love, for ever and ever ! His own 
arm hath brought salvation to my feeble, helpless 
soul. I am now wholly his ! I do love the Lord 
my God with all my heart, and soul, and strength. 
J am nothing, and Jesus is my all. The enemy is 
often suggesting, " Thou wilt soon lose the bless- 
ing : thou canst not stand long." But my heart 
answers, j . ill hang upon, and trust my God, as 
long -as I have any being ; and I know he will sup- 



( 40 ) 

ply a feeble worm with power ! I have also open- 
ed on many sweet promises to-day. I find mo- 
mentary power now to pray, and believe : yea, I 
live by faith ! 

Saturday, 24. Last night, and this morning, I 
had deep communion with my God. I feel I am 
Indeed one with Christ, and Christ is one with me : 
I dwell in Christ, and Christ in me. O blessed 
union with him my soul loveth ! And the more I 
feel of his great love, the more I sink at his feet in 
humbling views of my own nothingness ; and here 
it is, I would ever lie : this is my own place : Je- 
sus alone is exalted ; and I, a poor sinner, saved 
from sin ! 

Sunday, 25. Glory be to God for the best Sab- 
bath I ever knew ! iWy body was so very weak 
and poorly, 1 could not go to preaching ; but the 
Lord was with me, and gave me fresh discoveries 
of my own emptiness and poverty, and of his 
abundant fulness. Those words were also power- 
fully applied, " Now ye are clean through the 
words which I have spoken unto you : abide in me 
and I in you : As the branch cannot bear fruit of 
Itself, except it abide in the vine, no more can ye 5 
except ye abide in me." I also feel that gracious 
promise mine ; " if ye abide in me, and my words 
abide in you : ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall 
be done unto you." O the condescension of God 
to a poor worm ! What a grant is this ! My soul 
draws near, and humbly asks, a Enlarge my faith's 
capacity wider, and yet wider .still : then with all 
that is in thee, my soul for ever fill." 

Thursday 29th. , I was so happy, that I could 
not sleep in the night : O what deep communion 
did my soul enjoy with God ; it was indeed a 
foretaste of heaven itself. This morning l prayed 
for a portion of scripture to be impressed on my 
heart, that should abide with, comfort, and direct 



( 41 ) 

me all the day : and I opened on, " Know ye not 
that your bodies are the temples of the Holy Ghost, 
which is in you : and ye are not .your own ; for ye 
are bought with a price ; therefore glorify God 
both with your body, and with your spirit, which 
are God's." Sweet portion ! O my blessed Lord, 
I rejoice that I am thy purchased property, and 
not my own ; and to thee I gladly yield, body, soul> 
and spirit. 

March 5th. For some days it has been a sea- 
son of outward trials : but I have enjoyed fellow- 
ship with God, and great inward comforts. I have 
ever found, when he gives peculiar grace, he per- 
mits it to be triecl, : but J prove " as my day is, 
so is my strength.'* Yes, glory to his name alone, 
I am more than conqueror ! and feel it the constant 
language of my heart, 

" No cross, no suffering I decline. 
Only let all my heart be thine." 

Sunday, 10th. Mr. Simpson preached from 
" The kingdom of God is not meat and drink ; 
but righteousness and peace, and joy in the Holy 
Ghost." O the blessedness of this inward king- 
dom ! with streaming eyes, and heart overflowing 
with love ; I could claim this portion mine ; mine 
in possession, and mine for ever ! O Lord, how 
shall I praise thee ? 

44 Nothing else will I know, in my journey below 
But singing thy Grace to. thy Paradise go 1" 

Thursday 28th. After a blessed season of com- 
munion with God in secret prayer this morning f '.I 
went with my mother to spend the day at Adling- 
ton. Every thing I saw there, in house or gar- 
dens, contributed to fill my happy soul with praise., 
In such and such a spot, I would say to myself^ 

4 * 



( 42 ) 

have I poured out my soul in deep distress unto 
the Lord : and in such a place, he darted a ray of 
comfort, and bid me go forward. O my Lord, 
what hast thou done for a worthless worm, since 
these seasons of weeping penitence ? Then 1 sow- 
ed in tears ; but now I reap in joy. " O what 
shall I render unto the Lord for all his benefits." 
I have nothing ! My all is thine already. A poor 
offering. But, 

" Poor as it is, 'tis all my store ; 
More thoti shouldst have, if I had more." 

Some time after this I called upon Sarah Old- 
ham ; and found her just arrived on the borders of 
Canaan. It was animating to be near her ! She re- 
quested us to sing ; " Gladly would I flee away ; 
Loose from earth no longer stay ;" &c. "When 
we ceased she cried, O sweet ! O comfortable ! I 
thank you. I asked her, " Have you any doubts 
or fears of landing safe ?" She said, O no J not one 
doubt. I asked a few other questions, which she 
answered to my great satisfaction. Two days af- 
ter this, clapping her hands together in an extacy 
of joy, she took her flight to Glory! Her last 
words were ; " My Lord and my God." 

On Monday, April the first, Mr. Wesley came 
to Macclesfield ; and I saw, and conversed with 
him, for the first time. He behaved to me with 
parental tenderness, and greatly rejoiced in the 
Lord's goodness to my soul ; encouraged me to hold 
fast, and to declare what the Lord hath wrought. 
On Wednesday morning he set off for Manchester. 
He thinks me consumptive ; but welcome life or 
welcome death, for Christ is mine. 

Tuesday, June 4th. I find great weakness of 
body, but much of the divine presence, and re- 
signed longings for immortality. I was at five 
o'clock preaching this morning ; and there the 



4 43 ) 

Lord shed his love abroad, and all day I have had 
such a solemn nearness to him, as I cannot de- 
scribe. I called on one who, in the arms of death, 
is rejoicing in redeeming love. Her will perfect- 
ly resigned, and her evidence clear for a glorious 
eternity. What a sight ! O Jesus, this is thy vic- 
tory ! O satan, how art thou conquered. 

Tuesday, July 9th. My weakness of body f 
seems to increase : and so does my union with him 
my soul loveth. I was so happy in the night that 
I had little sleep, and awoke several times with 
those words deeply impressed, " The temple of in- 
dwelling God.' 5 His love humbles me in the dust; 
it seems as a mirror to discover my nothingness. 
Sometimes my weakness of body seems quite over- 
powered with the Lord's presence manifest to my 
soul : and I have thought I could bear no more, 
and live : But then I eagerly cry ; O give me more 
and let me -die ! I long to be freed from earth ; 
but I am resigned to live and suffer here. I found 
the following lines, which I received with some 
others very reviving ; 

u My dear Sister, 
" I fear I shall hardly see you again, till we 
meet in Paradise. But if you should gradually 
decay, if you be sensible of the hour approaching 
when your spirit is to return to God ; I should be 
glad to have notice of it. — It is a comfort, to die is 
not to be lost ! 

I *' To earth born pain, superior you shall rise* 
Through the wide waves of unopposing skies : 
When summon'd hence, aseend heaven's high abode, 
Converse with angels, and rejoice in God." 

Tell me, how far does the corruptible and de- 
caying body press down the soul ? Your disorder 
naturally sinks the spirits, and occasions heaviness 



( 44 ) 

and dejection. Can you notvv ithstanding ihis, re- 
joice evermore ? I shall be glad to know, if you ex- 
perience something similar to what Mr. De Renty 
expresses in those strong words, " I bear about 
with me an experimental verity, and a plentitude 
of the presence of the ever blessed Trinity." Do 
you commune. with God in the night season ? Does 
j^ie bid you even in sleep go on ? And does he make 
your very dreams devout I That he may fill you 
with all his fuL^ss, is the constant wish of, &c." 

I praise my God, who enables me in a degree, 
to understand the above ; and to answer those deep 
Questions in the affirmative. 

Wednesday, September 11th. This day I have 
had much pain and weakness of body, but my peace 
hath been as a river : O that my righteousness may 
be as the waves of the. sea. My uncle has disown- 
ed my three cousins on account of hearing the 
Methodists. But cousins R. and J. are steadfast, 
and more happy in God than ever. Poor C. has 
given up Christ for the world ; and is therefore 
restored to the favour of his earthly parent. Rut 
O how will he appear when earth and heaven shall 
flee away ! Lord make it a warning to me, that I 
may watch and pray, and implore momentary help. 

Sunday, 22. As I returned from preaching, I 
called on Mary Etchels : who is in the last stage 
of a dropsy; just ready to wing her way to eternal 
glory* She has been a backslider in heart for 
some years ; but in her long affliction has return- 
ed unto the Lord, with weeping, mourning, and 
supplication. Nor did she weep in vain; the 
Lord hearkened, and spoke peace to her soul some 
weeks since ; and this day she told me, she has 
received the witness of being cleansed from all sin, 
so that now she is full of love and joy. Her cry i^ 
O how I long to be with Jesus ! Why are his chariot 
wheels so long in coming ? O for patience till my 



( 45 ) 

Jesus comes. She got hold of my hand after I 
had prayed with her, and said, O what precious 
sights do I see ! such glory, such glory, I can- 
not utter it ! Soon after, her happy spirit fled to 
her eternal rest. 

Monday, Oct. 14. In the night, (for I could not 
sleep) it was a convenient season between God and 
my happy soul. And I since find the bonds of 
divine union more strong than ever. This has 
been a blessed day ! His work, his ways, his word 
are my delight. I live by faith ; and all hard 
things are become easy. I can praise him in every 
conflict: but feel I could bear nothing, could 
do nothing without Jesus. All my dependence is 
on Him, who supplies* the momentary power 
J want: and I can truly say, 

fj With every coming" hour I prove, 
His nature, and his name is love." 

Tuesday, 15. 1 am still kept in various trials. 
This day, the following letter was, as if sent 
of God to strengthen me. 

"My dear Sister, 
u The trials which a gracious Providence sends, 
or permits, may be so many means of groAving in 
grace ; and particularly of increasing in faith, pa- 
tience, and resignation. And are they not all cho- 
sen for us by infinite wisdom and goodness ? So 
that we may well subscribe . to those beautiful 
lines ; 

" With patient mind, thy course of duty run : 
God nothing' does, or suffers to be done : 
But thou wouldst do thyseif, if thou couldst see 
The end of all events as well as he.'* 

Every thing w r e can do, for a parent, we ought, 
that is every thing we can do without killing our- 



( 46 ) 

selves : but this we have no right to do : our 
lives are not at our own disposal. Remember this, 
and do not carry a good principle too far. Do you 
still find, " Labour is rest, and pain is sweet, wheri 
thou my God art here ?" I know pain, or grief, 
does not interrupt your happiness : but does it not 
lessen it ? You often feel sorrow for your friends ; 
does that sorrow rather quicken than depress your 
soul ? Does it sink you deeper into God ? Go on 
in the strength of the Lord. Be careful for 
nothing. Live to-day. So will you still be a com- 
fort to yours affectionately." 

Friday, Nov. 8. My body is very weak: but 
when my strength and my heart fail, I feel God is 
the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever. 
Reading a portion of scripture with prayer, every 
day, is, and has been a great blessing to my soul. 
Often have I found through this means* direction 
in difficulties, comfort in trials, and heavenly 
teachings in the way to glory. And the scriptures 
I so read are impressed with such divine unGtion 
©n my heart, as makes it lasting food, and 
nourishment to my soul. 

Feb. 12, 177F. Every day I experience more 
fully, that God is love ; and his service perfect 
freedom. What solid bliss is it to be delivered 
from all dependence on creatures, and to hang by 
faith upon the Immutable God ! To know, this God 
is mine : to feel he dwelleth in my heart ; ruleth 
my will, my affections, my tempers, my desires * 
To know he loveth me ten thousand times better 
than I love him. O it is unspeakable salvation ! 

Feb. 22. One year this day, I have been wholly 
the Lord's ; and he has kept sole possession of my 
willing heart. Yes, thou hast been my strength, 
my refuge, guide, and my merciful God : my por- 
tion, my treasure, and my whole delight. One 
year I have loved thee with all my heart ; ar.c! 



( 47 ) 

th6u hast reigned without a rival. And now, O 
my Father, Saviour, Comforter; I giVe myself 
afresh to thee. 

" Take my soul and body's powers, 
Take my memory, mind and will ; 
All my goods, and all my hours, 
All I know, and all I feel: 
Yhine will I live, thrice happy I, 
Happier still, if thine I die." 

On Sept, 14, 1778, there was a very awful 
earthquake* The new church, in Macclesfield, 
(where I then was) rocked like a cradle ; and 
nearly threw some of the people, then kneeling, on 
their faces. And the noise, for a few moments 
\yas like thuixder. The scene that ensued was 
truly an emblem of that day, "When all faces 
shall gather ptUeness ; and many shall cry to the 
rocks and mountains fall on us, 5 ' &c. Some 
believed that the church was falkn at the steeple 
end : and therefore flew in crowds to the opposite 
doors, shrieking' and crying for mercy. Some 
fainted and were trampled nearly to death. Others 
bruised much; and some did not recover the 
fright. But O unspeakable grace ! My soul was 
kept calm, for I feared not to die. That scripture 
was brought to my mind : u Yet once more, and I 
shake not the earth only, but also heaven !" And 
I was enabled to exhort those around, to be still, 
and look unto the God of grace for salvation, which 
they had too long neglected. Many were deeply 
awakened by this awful providence : and never 
found rest afterwards till they found it in the mani- 
fested love of a blet>sed Redeemer. And some 
who may date their conversion from that day, will, 
I believe, be eternal monuments of grace. 

Many are my symptoms of mortality : but God 
;s love; and bears mjv happy soul far above "All 



( 48 ) 

sin, and temptation, and pain." I long- for his 
leave to depart, and be with Christ : but wilt in 
humble resignation at his feet, till all his will 
be done. 

Though much indisposed, I went to church; and 
there, in partaking of the blessed sacrament, I had 
such union and intercourse with the Holy Trinity, 
as is unspeakable ! blessed foretaste of drinking the 
new wine in my Father's kingdom. Yes, these are 
the streams, but that is the fountain. 

Friday, June 18th, 1F8G. I was closely tried 
for a few days past, by near and dear relatives : but 
in God I have deep peace, and can say, all his will 
is welcome : all pain before his presence flies ! Com- 
pared with his love, how trifling is all I suffer. Am 
I not a brand plucked from eternal burnings ! and 
the few moments of my existence here, are all the 
moments of suffering I shall ever know ! yea, and 
these light afflictions, even as I pass through them, 
are working out for me " A far more exceeding 
and eternal weight of glory." 

Monday, December 18th. I had a day of many 
blessings in visiting the sick. I called at John 
Barber's, and found his wife's mother dangerously 
ill. This poor old pharisee, now upwards of four- 
score years old, would nwer listen to the calls of 
converting grace, or be persuaded that she needed 
to be born again. But now the Lord has laid his 
hand upon her soul as well a$ her body. 

Some time after I called again, and found she 
had been incessantly crying for mercy. When 
I now spoke with her, she cried out, the' Lord will 
save me ; but O pray ! I did so : and then asking, 
how do you now feel ? she said with uncommon 
earnestness ; I shall soon rejoice in him : he will 
forgive my sins ! soon after, s/he cried aloud, Lord, 
I hope thou wilt soon forgive/; me ! Lord, thou art 









1 49 ) 

forgiving me ? nay Lord, thou hast forgiven me! 
after this, she continued exceeding happy for five 
days, and then exchanged mortality for life ! 

Tuesday, 19th, I called upon that old saint, 
Thomas Barber, who was seized the day before 
with a malignant fever. I asked him, is the Lord 
precious to your soul I He said, he is all love ; I 
shall soon be with him. It seems worth remarking 
here, that this good old man had prayed, and 
agonized with God for many years, that his aged 
wife might see his salvation,; and also that she 
might be first taken home. His request was 
granted in both these respects. A little before her 
death the Lord revealed his salvation to her heart ; 
and for some days she bore testimony of his love : 
often repeating, u Thy rod and thy staff comfort 
me." Just before she departed, having taken an 
affectionate leave of her husband and children, she 
cried aloud, H Now, Lord, thou art mine for ever 
and ever !" When her breath was gone, her hus- 
band said, u Now Lord lettest thou thy servant de- 
part in peace, according to thy word, for mine eyes 
have seen fliy salvation*" And from that time his 
body was perceived to fail. 

Thursday, 21st. I found him very ill, but very 
happy. Yet, he told me, u I have been tempted 
to fear patience will not hold out in all this pain, 
for I feel as if every limb was tearing asunder from 
my body : but I know God is all-sufficient." 
I called again, he told me, M My pain has been ex- 
treme, but I feel the presence of God continually : 
and I sensibly know, he is as near to me as I am 
to myself. Whether I die at this time or recover, 
my will is wholly resigned : but I know if he calls 
me now, I shall go to glory." In the afternoon his 
every breath was prayer or praise ; and all. his at- 
tention manifestly taken up with heavenly things* 



( SO ) 

To the doctor he said, " It is of more consequence 
that you should repent than that I should recover ; 
for if I die I shall go to God ; but if you do not 
repent, you will perish : "You must be born again." 
Saturday, 23d. His dissolution evidently drew 
near. He was sometimes a little delirious ; yet of 
God and spiritual things he spoke clearly and 
scripturally ; and prayed without ceasing. In the 
evening he broke out in the most solemn manner, 
and repeated several times, u Christ is God ! Christ 
is God ! God out of Christ is a consuming fire !" 
On being asked how he did : he said, " 1" am going 
to the heavenly Canaan, that promised land for 
which I set out long ago." While the doctor 
spoke to him of his body, he regarded not, but told 
him, U I am not Ufraid to die." And then with 
lifted hands, prayed that all around him, and espe- 
cially his children, might follow him to glory. 
When I asked him a little after this, do you now 
feel God graciously near ? he said, (looking with 
solemn steadfastness in his countenance* as if he 
saw something, " His spiritual presence is here ! 
and bursting into tears, cried, I am full of God ! 
His glory fills my soul !" Another asked him, Have 
you any doubts? he answered, I have not the 
least doubt upon my mind, but I shall reign with 
him in glory! L^te that night I called again, wish- 
ing to see him once more: and though delirious 
just before, when one said, here is Miss Roe : he 
hastily put out his hand and said, "May God bless 
you." This was his last farewell to me ; and he 
spoke litde afterwards. At nine the next morning 
I found him speechless, and in a dying state: 
but quite composed, and just as if falling into a 
sweet sleep. Mr. Simpson came in, and went to 
prayer by him ; but he appeared insensible to all 
below. The power of God however rested on all 



( 51 > 

present in an abundant manner ; and in about 
an hour afterwards he expired without a sigh 
or groan. 

Friday, 29th. Late this evening, my cousin Ro- 
bert Roe, arrived with the corpse of his brother 
Samuel, who died at Leek, on his way home from 
Bristol. There was great hope in the end of this 
once gay young man. My cousin William, and 
Margaret, also arrived from Liverpool : O that 
this solemn season may be sanctified to all his 
weeping relatives and friends ! and may those who 
partook of the follies that employed his youthful 
years, take the awful warning, and seek that 
acquaintance with Jesus in life, which he felt so 
much nsed of in his last hours. 

March 27, 1781. This day at ray uncle Roe's, 
I saw Mr. Rogers for the first time. He and Mr. 
Bardsley are come over from Sheffield to see cousin 
Robert, who respects Mr. Rogers much, having re- 
ceived good from his preaching at Leeds. We 
had a blessed season in prayer together ; and 
cousin Peggy Roe, in particular, seemed stirred up 
and comforted. Afterwards we called on that dy- 
ing saint, David Pickford ; who witnessed a good 
confession of the love of Jesus, which he has felt 
experimentally for this thirty-six years ; and 
proves him yet faithful. At night, Mr. Rogers 
preached from " You that are troubled, rest with 
us," &c. And at five o'clock next morning, Mr. 
Bardsley enforced that blessed portion, ."Fear not, 
for I am with thee ; be not dismayed, for I am 
thy God," &c. I felt both peculiar seasons of 
divine blessings : and though afterwards tried at 
home, it was a day of deep consolation. 

April 20. I was much comforted by hearing of 
the happy death of Anne B. one I formerly loved 
much, and dealt faithfully with. She lost much 



( 52 ) 

of her spirituality, by a connexion with a carnal 
man, whom she married a year ago. But the Lord 
loved her, and sent a lingering affliction, slew the 
body, but saved the soul ! 

Friday 27. I have lately proved more kind- 
nes$ and affection from my mother, than for some 
yeats. O how good is the Lord ! Surely with 
him nothing shall be impossible. My uncle Roe is 
seized dangerously ill, and two physicians called in. 

Wednesday, May 2. There is no hope of my 
unc-e's recovery. But he is reconciled to all his 
children, and calls much upon God ! and begs of 
Mr. Simpson, and others to pray for him. Yea, 
though scarce able, gets upon his knees in bed, to 
pray for himself. 

Thursday, 3. As I went to my uncle's this 
morning, I met one of the maids, who told me he 
is fled into a world of spirits ! He lay all night 
quite composed ; but about ten this morning sud- 
denly opened his eyes, and fixed tfiem with seeming 
delight, on some object for several minutes : soon 
after which, he silently breathed away the immortal 
spirit ! and I have great hope, is escaped to end- 
less life. I spent the day chiefly with my cousins, 
and found it a solemn profitable season. Poor 
cousin Joseph came a few hours after his father's 
decease, having rode on horseback two hundred 
miles in twenty-four hours. 

Tuesday, 8. In the dusk of the evening my un- 
cle's remains were carried in great pomp, by his 
own carriage and horses, to the new church ; and 
accompanied by coaches, torches, and a vast con- 
course of people ; but the horses, unaccustomed to 
be adorned with such trappings as black cloth, es- 
cutcheons, they would hardly proceed. He was 
interred by Mr. Simpson, in the vault he had so 
1'ately prepared ! yes, this much feared, and much 



( 53 ) 

loved man, is now committed to corruption and 
worms ! It reminds me of Dr. Young's beautiful 
lines ; 

" An angel's arm can't snatch me from the grave, 
Legions of angels can't confine me there !" 

Tuesday, July 3. I called on Anne Shrigley, 
who when I last saw her was crying for mer- 
cy in deep distress ; but is now filled with praise, 
and on the verge of a glorious eternity. On Friday 
last, having spoke sharply to her husband, she was 
seized with agony of spirit, and cried aloud, now I 
am lost for ever : I shall go to hell ; there is no 
mercy for me ; but she wrestled in prayer til! she 
prevailed, and the Lord shed his forgiving love 
abroad in an abundant manner ; and bore his wit- 
ness with her heart that she was born of God. — 
She now told me, I long to be gone. O that all 
the world knew what I feel ! they would soon seek 
God and find him : for he would save them all. — 
O that blessed eternity ! lam going to that blessed 
eternity ! I said, there we shall meet to part no 
more. She said, no never, never part more J we 
shall be for ever with our Lord. O that dear Sa- 
viour ! what has he done for my soul ? If my 
bodily affliction was a thousand times heavier than 
it is, his love would be above all. On Monday^ 
16th, I went with Mr. Simpson, who administered 
to her the blessed memorials of- dying love ; and 
we all found it a time of the presence and power 
of God. She continued in the same sweet frame 
of mind till her spirit fled away. 

Wednesday. Cousin F. R. called on me this 
morning and related her dream, which has made a 
deep impression on her mind, and affected me 
much. She thought her father's spirit appeared 
to her, and a person who was with her in the room 
where he died ; and that he asked in a m,ost aoleftm 

a * 



( 54 ) 

manner, "Are my family and children seeking 
salvation ? I say, are all my children and family 
seeking the full assurance of salvation?" He then 
disappeared, but quickly came again, as if he 
was in haste to give them warning, lest any of them 
should defer it till too late, and perish in their sins. 
And asked, " Have all my family found the full 
assurance of salvation ?" And added, with the ut- 
most earnestness, " Tell them, never, never, ne- 
ver, to rest till they find it !" Do you hear me ? 
Tell them, never, never, to rest till they have found 
it !" I forbear to mention a few more particulars 
in this awful dream ! those whom it chiefly con- 
cerns, no doubt remember them ; as it was kept 
no secret. O may it make lasting impressions on 
all ! Some did take warning ; found that full assu- 
rance ;• — -witnessed a good confession to all their 
friends, and are now safely lodged in Abraham's 
bosom. 



" Far from a world of grief and sin, 
"With God eternally shut in !" 



.4- A*. 



After his father's death, my cousin Robert de 
termined to fix in Macclesfield ; and for that pur- 
pose built a good house conveniently near the New 
Church. A lovely situation, and good air. When 
this house was finished, at his earnest request, and 
by the desire of his aunt, Miss. S. and several 
more, my mother undertook to keep the house. 
She rented the whole dwelling, and he boarded 
with her. I mention this, because it appears a pe- 
culiar providence that placed me there, to be with 
this child and servant of God iji his last moments. 
From the time of his father's death to that of his 
own, he gave himself up to the work of God, as 
fully as his health would possibly permit. He 
boldly and publicly preached the gospel, in and 
near Macclesfield y and the Lord bore witness to 



( 55 ) 

his word, by awakening, converting, and saving 
souls. And I believe I may safely affirm, that du- 
ring that season, he never preached one sermon in 
vain. Sometimes two, three, or four, and once se- 
ven, in one night, were deeply awakened ; and com- 
monly three or four justified. He was also the in- 
strument of many believing to full salvation. 

Friday, August 9th. We removed to my cou- 
sin's house ; where I enjoyed, for the short season 
of his life, many spiritual privileges. My mother 
also had many opportunities she never would be- 
fore partake of, both in prayer and christian con- 
versation : for my cousin had constant prayer- 
meetings, bands, &c. under the roof; and endea- 
voured to devote his whole time, talents, and sub- 
stance, to God. But how mysterious are the 
ways of Providence ! how quickly was he called 
from all this ? 

Tuesday 20th, he caught a severe cold, which 
terminated in his death. Every help was procu- 
red, but to no feffect. His soul, which had long 
panted after holiness, was now deeply distressed to 
feel the power of all-cleansing blood, and the wit- 
ness of being saved from all^sin. He called on 
me many times a day to pray with him, and was 
often greatly comforted ; but nothing less than 
full salvation would satisfy. Satan at times took 
advantage of his distracted nerves, and suggested 
terrible fears ; so that his conflicts at some sea- 
sons were great, at other times he was filled with 
comfort, and during the whole of his affliction he 
never expressed the least murmuring or impatience. 
Tuesday, 27th, in attempting to walk two or three 
times across the room, he fainted away ; and when 
recovered, said, "I beg as a particular favour* 
cousin, that you will be with me as much as possi- 
ble : don't leave me, and God will reward you,"' — 
I seldom did after this. 



September 2. I rose at five ; and going into 
his room, found him awake : he said, I feel pecu- 
liarly calm, composed, and resigned to the will of 
God ; but have had no sleep : tell me if you have 
not been praying for me ? I answered, yes : he 
said, I thought so. Then he desired me to open 
the New Testament, and read the verse that first 
appeared : I did so, and it was this ; u For ye are 
dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God, when 
Christ who is our life shall appear, then shall ye al- 
so appear with him in glory." He was greatly com- 
forted. From this time he hastened toward his 
eternal home ! 

Monday, 9. He settled all his temporal con- 
cerns, and then praised God for having done so, 
and was very happy. But in the night, he had one 
more conflict with Satan. I prayed with him above 
an hour : surely it was the most solemn season I 
ever knew ! The Lord heard and delivered. He 
fell into a sweet sleep, and awoke rejoicing ; yea, 
triumphing in God. After this he enjoyed the 
witness of entire sanctification ; and proclaimed to 
all who came near him, the love of his God and 
Saviour, saying, now I know Jby experience what 
I have preached to others is no cunningly devised 
fable. I feel now the blood of Jesus cleanseth 
from all sin. I am now entirely a new creature ! 
I can love the Lord with all my heart, and soul, 
and strength. The enemy tells me, if I get better 
I shall soon lose this ; but I believe I shall not : 
for I know as long as I have his hold of God, no- 
thing will be able to overcome me. In a day or two 
after, he was often delirious ,• yet still, in all inter- 
vals, was full of happiness, love, patienc#, and re- 
signation, though he suffered much. 

Thursday, 12. He said, What a peace do I now 
enjoy ! 1 feel now, and for some days past, what I 
never felt before. When I am at the worst, (and 



( 57 ) 

none but God knows what I suffer*) my mind is 
peaceable and happy ; and I have not a murmuring 
or repining thought. I can cast all my care on 
God, as I never could before ; and even my help- 
lessness does not discourage me, for I find his grace 
sufficient. But I see a great fulness yet before me. 
Friday, 13. When he was got up to have his 
bed made easy he would not return to it, (though 
every breath seemed as if it would be his last) till 
he had given a short account of his whofe expe- 
rience from his first sitting out. He went through 
all his tria s, persecutions, temptations, &c. But 
now, said he, I reap the blessed fruit ; and I can 
say, neither my father's tears nor severity ; nei- 
ther hope of preferment, nor fear of suffering, ever 
made me prevaricate, or depart from what I be- 
lieved my duty to God. And now I prove him 
faithful : he hath said, " Whosoever forsaketh fa- 
ther, or mother, or brothers, or sisters, or houses, or 
land, for my sake and the gospel's, shall receive an 
hundred fold in this life ; even father and mother* 
houses and land, &c. and in the world to come 
everlasting life." This is literally fulfilled in me. — 
I forsook all ; and I was restored to my father's 
favour. I have a house, land, &c. in this life : 
and I am going to everlasting life ! whereas if I had 
basely complied with my friends' desires, I should 
have possessed no more in this life than I now do ; 
and should have been lying here with a guilty con- 
science, a frowning God, and full of horror, in 
the views of a miserable eternity ! O how good it 
is to give up all for God ! Now I feel it ; and I 
shall praise him for ever ! O how pleasingly awful 
was this noble testimony from a dying friend, when 
obliged to gasp for breath between every sentence. 
He continued for sometime after this, praising God, 
and recommending all his relations and friends to 
his protection. The particulars of which I omit 



( 58 ) I 

here, haying already referred the reader tp them in 
the Magazine, 

Saturday, 24, He was quite deranged, yet com- 
posed, and knew me to the last. At three o'clock 
on Sunday morning, death sweats came on ; and 
about half past five, he fled to his eternal paradise ! 
All in the room sensibly felt the powerful presence 
of God. Yea, it was as the gate of heaven, while 
on our knees we watched the last parting breath ! 
Mr. Simpson preached a funeral sermon in the new 
church, on Sunday the 29th ; and Mr. Rogers, at 
the Methodist chapel. The former from, u These 
are they who came out of great tribulation, and have 
washed their robes, and made them white in the 
blood of the Lamb." The latter from, u Mark the 
perfect man, and behold the upright ; for the. end 
of that man is peace." I believe many will re- 
member the blessed season to their eternal good. 

In the year following, I had another awful scene 
to pass through. Dear Mrs. Rogers, after the 
birth of her little James, never recovered her health 
fully. Mr, Rogers, being a good deal in the coun- 
try parts of the circuit, I was very much with her ; 
and our love for each other daily increased. At 
different times she opened her whole heart to me, 
on very tender points ; for we were as one soul. 
For several weeks before her death, she entreated 
me not to leave her, when I could possibly help it. 
But as her experience and triumphant death are al- 
ready published, I forbear to enlarge respecting 
either. O my Lord, let my latter end be like hers 1 

I come now briefly to observe, that after a won- 
derful chain of divine leadings, and remarkable 
providences, (too tedious to dwell upon here) on 
August 19th, 1784, I was married to Mr. Rogers, 
in whom the Lord gave me a help-mate for glory; 
just such a partner as w y weakness needed to 
strengthen me. He hath made us one heart and 



( ™ ) 

one soul : and for above eight years, hath crown- 
ed our union with his constant smile. 

We spent a week or ten days after our marriage 
with my mother ; and then hastened to Dublin, 
where Mr. Rogers was appointed to labour. We 
were gladly received, and the Lord gave us the 
hearts of the people. Our hands being thus strength- 
ened of the Lord, we agreed solemnly to devote 
ourselves and our all to him and his work. 4^ 
all glory to his name, we saw a blessed revival : in 
three years, the society increased from about five 
hundred, to eleven hundred and upwards ; and we 
had good cause to believe, above four hundred 
were converted to God. 

In August 1T89, we came over from Dublin to 
see my mother at Macclesfield. Mr. Wesley, and 
several preachers with families, also coming at the 
same time to England, we took the whole ship. 
In this passage we were in imminent danger, by 
dashing on a rock called the West-Mouse. But 
prayer was made, the Lord heard, and wonderful- 
ly delivered ! We lande,d at Park-Gate, and tra- 
velled with Mr. Wesley to Macclesfield, where my 
mother received us with great affection. After the 
Manchester conference, we returned to Ireland, 
sailed for Dublin, where we had left our little boy. 
We spent about a week with our very affectionate 
friends there, and then proceeded to Cork. 

Here also the Lord revived a gracious work. 
His word prospered and prevailed ; and we had 
cause to rejoice, not only over a few individuals, 
but several families, who were added to the fold of 
God. We found three hundred and ninety-seven 
members in society; and left six hundred and fifty. 
In the last year we had some close trials,^through 
a few individuals; but our spiritual mercies out- 
balanced them all. I do not know that ever 1 en- 
joyed more of the Lord's heart-felt presence than 



( 60 ) 

at Cork ; excepting the time of a severe nervous 
fever ; and then the cloud was only for a few 
days ; and that, I believe, was merely owing to the 
body; for though in a week afterwards, all the 
feelings of nature were touched, I felt nothing 
contrary to resignation, patience, or love. 

At the time I now speak of, my own recovery 
Was doubtful. Mr. Rogers (oppressed with grief 
through my illness, and by his attention to me night 
and day) was very ill. James had a worm fever ; 
the maid confined with sickness: and my little 
John, six weeks old, dying in convulsions, for three 
days ! — Sureiy, in this scene, the' Lord magnified 
his power in supporting my weakness, and enabing 
me then to say, u Good is the wi of the Lord." 
After this season, my conso ations were abundant; 
and my faith, love, and communion, with God, 
much deepened. 

I had here some encouraging letters from T\fr. 
Wesley. In the two ast he mentioned his inten- 
tion of removing us to London at the ensuing con- 
ference. I tremb ed at the thought of so impor- 
tant a charge ; but committed it to God in much 
prayer. And, notwithstanding our various exerci- 
ses of body and mind since we came to this pity, I 
am certain divine love has mixed every cup, and 
ordered all things well. To be with that honoured 
and much loved servant of God, for five months ; 
and then to be witnesses of his g orious exit, was a 
favour indeed. But O ! how awful the scene ! — 
how unspeakable the loss! — I peculiarly felt it; 
being then in a weak state, not quite recovered 
from my lying-in. 

The solemnity of the dying hour of that great 
good man ! I believe, will be ever written on my 
heart! Well might Dr. Young say, " The chain* 
ber where the good man meets his fate, is privileged 
beyond the common walk of virtuous life, quite cm 



( 61 ) 

the verge of heaven !" A cloud of the divine pre- 
sence rested on all ! and while he could hardly be 
said to be an inhabitant of earth, being now speech- 
less, and his eyes fixed, victory and glory was 
written on his countenance, and quivering as it 
were, on his dying lips ! O could he then have 
spoke, methinks it would have been nothing but 
victory ! victory !«— grace ! grace ! — 'glory ! glory J 
— No language can paint what appeared in that 
face ! The more we gazed upon it, the more we 
saw of heaven unspeakable ! Not the least sign of 
pain, but a weight of bliss* Thais he continued, 
only his breath growing weaker and weaker, till, 
without a struggle or a groan, he left the cumbrous 
<:lay behind, and fled to eternal life, in the bosom 
of his faithful Lord. 

When I look back on the trying scenes we have 
passed through since this awful event, and consider, 
we are yet monuments of grace and saving pow- 
er, I am lost in wonder and in love. Mr. Rogers 
in particular, has been tried as in the fire, and ex- 
posed through his office, as a mark to shoot at, yet 
through infinite mercy, I believe he will come out 
of it all more fully purified. I might here enlarge 
on particulars, but shall leave the Lord's faithful 
servants, as well as the instruments of their suffer- 
ings, to him who will plead the cause of the inno- 
cent, and " make all things work together for good 
to them that love God. 1 ' Praying, with our suf- 
fering Lord, for those who now persecute him in 
his members, " Father forgive them, for they knovf 
not what they do." 

I shall only now observe, as it relates to my own 
experience, that these trying exercises of my dear 
partner have been keenly felt by me. And my 
nervous system, weakened by that dangerous fever 
at Cork, has also greatly suffered by these things ; 
which, like wave upon wave, have followed each 

6 



c «ft I • 

other ! To this I ascribe it chiefly, that a cloud of 
heaviness has, at some seasons, hung upon my 
mind ; and that satan has taken occasion to sug- 
gest, in those times of animal depression, various 
accusations of short-comings in zeal, activity, and 
spiritual joy. I do not mean that I was ever left 
in darkness; — No: — Since I first consciously re- 
ceiyed a sense of favour with God, I never lost it ; 
but within two years last past, I have not always 
had so clear a witness of perfect love. At other 
times I have had that witness full and clear; and 
at all times could say, " None but Jesus will I 
know, None but him do I desire. "Whom have 
I in heaven but thee ? Thou art all in all to me !" 
— But in nothing less than full salvation, and the 
witness of it, could my soul ever rest. O no : 
What is past experience without present enjoy- 
ment ? I must feel, or I cannot be happy* 

Sunday, Nov. 11, 1792. This day it is eighteen 
years since I received the knowledge of a recon- 
ciled God- O that I were in a deeper sense 
a " mother in Israel." My Lord has ever been 
faithful tome ! In all my persecutions he comfort- 
ed me. In the alluring snares of youth, he saved, 
he kept. It was by his grace I forsook all ; denied 
myself ease, pleasure, friends :-*-And after he had 
proved me, he gave me easier circumstances, and 
one of the best of earthly friends. He has Jed on 
my ignorance, and strengthened my weakness- 
Through various scenes, and in outward perplexi- 
ties, how often have I received immediate teaching 
from God ! — In travelling from city to city, how 
have I been protected by guardian love, and saved 
from fear and danger on the watery deep.— May I 
never forget his ten thousand proofs of love in 
Dublin, in Cork, in London. — He hath given me 
favour in the eyes of his children in every place, 
and helped me feebly to serve them. He hath 



c m ) 

given me spiritual children also ; some of whom 
are lodged safe in his bosom, and others in the way 
to glory. I- have had five lovely children in the 
flesh ; and besides these my dear Joseph and Ben- 
jamin, left with me in charge, and to whom I feel 
united in all the tenderness of parental love : nor 
have they ever been wanting in a due return. One, 
(a fine boy,) my Lord hath taken <!6 the abodes of 
bliss ; and for the rest, he assures my heart, 

" The children of thy faith and prayer 
Shall all to thee be given. 55 

The witness of his perfect love ever shone upon 
my soul, till for a season, in my nervous fever ; 
but that season past, it shone afresh, and continued 
so to do ; till at intervals in the two years past, I 
have not so constantly enjoyed this. I have been 
jealous pver myself with a godly jealousy, lest 
anxiety about a multiplicity of outward things has 
too much stolen upon me. And lest at other times 
I have suffered my mind to dwell too much on dis- 
agreeables. Lest I have been less active, less 
zealous, less spiritual. Yet I dare not say, I have 
forfeited the blessing. But I cannot rest when the 
witness is not clear. I know much I have felt has 
been temptation, and that satan has accused when 
my God did not condemn. 

Many also have been my seasons of deep conso- 
lation; of deep communion with my God. Many, 
and remarkable my deliverances, and answers to 
prayer ; and great my divine support in every hour 
of trial. At present, I am sinking into the arms 
of love ; and I do feel I am all the Lord's ! Many 
things that have crucified my will of late, have 
been good for me. I desire to be crucified with 
Christ ; and that he should live alone in me ! I 
feel he now does ; but I long for a yet larger mea- 
sure of his mind, more of every grace, and deeper 



< 64 ) 

communion with my God. He does meet me at 
the throne of grace, and all temptations respects 
ing conflicts with satan in death, are vanished. I 
know my Joshua will be with me in Jordan, and 
see me safe through. Sometimes I have thought 
I shall have to pass that river before it be long, 
but that I leave to him. I feel no desires of life, 
but when I see my dear husband oppressed with 
trials, and my living seems as if it would be a 
help and comfort to him. Or, when a silent, re- 
signed wish arises, to see my children grown, and 
partakers- of regenerating grace* But i am kept 
from anxiety. 

I feel grateful to my God that I am placed here, 
(at Spitalfxelds,) though but for a season y where I 
can enjoy more retirement, and less of busy life* 
My God is with me, and I trust he will draw and 
unite more fully to himself, his helpless, worthless 
creature ! I have power with him in prayer, and I 
know he will answer my enlarged requests, for my* 
self, my other self, and our offspring. We shall be 
his : I will be his alone ! This day I consecrate to 
him my soul and body's powers, my life, my all ! 
May his blessed Spirit come, and seal me his abode y 
ratify the Covenant ; and with the Father and the 
Son, dwell for ever in my worthless heart ! Amen* 
O my God, I sign myself over to thee. This 
solemn hour 

" My soul and body I resign, 
With joy I render thee ; 
My all, no longer mine, but thine 
To all eternity !" 

HESTER ANN ROGERS, 



FUNERAL SERMON, 

PREACHED XN 

SPITALFIELDS CHAPEL, LONDON, 

o\ 

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 26, 1794, 

ON THE DEATH OF 

MRS. HESTER ANN ROGERS. 

BV THE 

REV. THOMAS COKE, L. L. D. 

ALSO, 

AN APPENDIX, 

WRITTEN BY HER HUSBAND j 

WITH 

VARIOUS PIECES, 

SELECTED AND TRANSCRIBED FROM HER 
MANUSCRIPT JOURNAL?. 



NEW-YORK: 

PUBLISHED BY DANIEL HITT, TOR THE 

METHODIST CONNECTION IN THE 

UNITED STATES. 

Paul & Thomas, Printers. 



1811. 



A SERMON, §>c. 



HEB. IX. 27. 

It is appointed unto men once to die* 

IF the remains of our departed sister, in memory 
of whom the present discourse is delivered, were 
now before your eyes, with all the pomp and splen- 
dour of modern funerals, it is not improbable there 
are some, whose minds would be affected with a 
solemn but superstitious awe, which the preacher 
has neither power nor inclination to raise. He is 
conscious that those who had the privilege of be- 
ing acquainted with our respected sister, need no- 
thing more than the recollection of that amiable wo- 
man, under the blessing of God, to jnfuse into 
them that spirit of true solemnity, which alone 
becomes the christian on these occasions. But yet, 
that which rises above every other consideration, 
is the momentous truth held out to us in my text, 
that great statute-law of heaven, " It is appointed 
unto men once to die." 

For the due improvement of this weighty 
subject, we shall, under the blessing of the Most 
High, 

First, Give an explication of the text. 



( 68 ) 

Secondly, Consider the grand point held forth to 
our view — the certainty of death. 

Thirdly, Lay down some considerations against 
the fear of death, for the use and comfort of be- 
lievers. 

Fourthly, draw some inferences from the fore- 
going heads of my discourse : And, 

Lastly, Present you with an epitome of the ex- 
perience, death, and character of our deceased 
friend, Mrs. Hester Ann Rogers. 

I. We are to explain the text. 

1st. The proposition is indefinite, therefore uni- 
versal, " all must die." It is not confined to any 
sex or description. The whole race is included. 
But yet there have been and still shall be excep- 
tions to the general rule. 1. Enoch, that holy 
man, who walked with God three hundred years ; 
and then " was not, for God took him. By faith 
he was translated" into heaven. When he had for 
so long a time borne, by example and prophecy, 
his faithful testimony against the sins of a wicked 
world, just mature for destruction : his merciful 
Redeemer, the God of Israel, with whose smile and 
intimacy he had been divinely honoured for centu- 
ries, took him into his everlasting arms, and fitted 
him at once for consummate glory. 2. Elijah, the 
great and highly honoured prophet, who had power 
to open and shut the heavens, and to call down ce- 
lestial fire : when he had finished his suffering life 
in the midst of a crooked, adulterous, idolatrous 
people, his friend and his God took him, soul and 
body together, in a chariot of fire, to the heaven of 
heavens. These are the exceptions we have had 
already. 

And, in respect to futurity, " we shall not all 
sleep, but we shall all be changed, in a moment, in 
the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump : for the 
trumpet shall sound," and instantly all the faithful 



( 69 ) 

ivho are then alive, shall put on incorruption and 
immortality, and shall afterwards enter into their 
master's joy$ without suffering the usual lot of mor- 
tality. 

The above excepted, we must all pass through the 
valley of the shadow of death, and return to the 
dust from whence we came. And truly, my bre- 
thren, I know not whether I shoi'ld not prefer, if the 
choice were given me, to tread the sups my Sa- 
viour trod before me, and to pass after him through 
the door of death, than to be at once translated to 
the realms of bliss. He has sanctified the grave 
by lying in it : and every path in which we follow 
the Lamb, is strewed with blessings to the faithful* 
He will take care of our sacred dust : every thing 
which is essential to humanity, will he preserve in 
the hollow o'i his hand, till he completely mould it 
by Almighty power, and give it a lustre, to which 
the sun shall appear as darkness. 

2dly. All must die once. But all shall not die 
the second death. There is the comfort of the be- 
liever. That divine and ineffable union, which 
subsists between God and the christian's soul, shall 
preserve the consecrated body, which here below is 
the temple of the Holy Ghost. As the whole hu- 
manity of Christ was united to his Godhead, even 
when his soul and body were separated ; so the 
soul and body of the faithful are united to Christ, 
even when they are separated by death : for we 
are " the bone of his bone, and the flesh of his 
flesh." When death shall untie those secret and 
sweet bands, those vital knots which fasten soul and 
body together, then shall the sanctified and immor- 
tal spirit burst through its tenement of clay, and 
take possession of its everlasting home. On 
such u the second death hath no power." To 
them death is only a sleep, a happy passage out of 
the prison of the body into a state of perfect free- 



C -TO ) 

dtfm : out of an earthly house, where the better 
part groans, u into & building of God, a house not 
ttiade with hands, eternal in the heavens*" But, 

3dly. We must all undergo the first death.-~ 
This is the irrevocable decree of heaven : not 
from the necessity of nature, but as the punish- 
ment of sin. Man was made immortal : sin alone 
brought death into the world, and all our woe.— 
"By sin," says St. Paul, u death entered into the 
world." And shall we nourish and indulge our 
greatest enemy ? Shall we harbour; yea, shall we 
serve the murderers of Christ ? Shall we not exert 
ourselves to the uttermost against the greatest foe 
of God and man ? Shall a little temporary joy or 
profit induce us to sacrifice everlasting happiness, 
and to embrace everlasting burnings ! May the aw- 
ful decree, "It is appointed unto man* once to die" 
have such an influence on our minds, and be so 
accompanied by the operations of grace upon our 
hearts, that we may always be enabled to say with 
holy triumph, u O death, where is thy sting i O 
grave, where is thy victory ? Thanks be to God, 
who giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus 
Christ." 

II. But we now proceed to consider the second 
point — the unavoidableness and certainty of 
death. 

It needs no proof. Every thing else on this 
side of the grave is attended with probability or 
possibility only ; this alone with certainty. K If it 
be inquired, will such a child be rich or poor, be 
learned or ignorant, be honourable or contemptible ? 
The answer is, Perhaps it may, perhaps not. But 
if it be inquired, Shall he die ? The answer con- 
tains no perhaps : It is simply, he certainly shall. 

I shall therefore only consider the present h,ead 
in a way of application. For it is the heart alone 
which wants to be awakened on the present sub- 



c **• > 

)zct. Such is the sottishness of men in general, 
that they will not duly consider the transitoriness 
of all sublunary things , the mortality of our bodies, 
and the infinitely momentous concerns of eternity. 
Let us therefore examine into the grand reasons of 
this stupidity of man. We shall find it perhaps 
to proceed from the following particulars : 

1st. Immense multitudes are so immerged in the 
pleasures, honours, or riches of this world, that 
every thought of the certainty or approach of death 
is drowned therein. As soon as an idea on the im- 
portant subject springs up in the mind^ it sinks and 
is lost in the innumerable ideas which continually 
crowd in concerning the things of time and sense : 
it is devoured by the worldly thoughts w r hich are 
incessantly buzzing in the souls of carnal men. 
One is so eagerly pursuing the things of time, and 
so abhorrent of reflection, that with a variety of in- 
vented delights he imps the wings of time, to make 
them fly the faster ; and is never contented, but 
when the senses are gratified. Another is eat up 
by ambition ; he forgets he is mortal ; and pow- 
er, and titles, and worldly honours, are the only food 
of his soul. A third, like the fool in the parable, 
trusts in his riches. He says to his soul, " Soul, 
thou hast goods laid up for many years, eat, drink, 
and be* merry :" whereas he might as well lay a 
plaister to his clothes to heal the wounds of his bo- 
dy, as imagine he can bring happiness into his soul 
through any thing which the honours, riches, or 
pleasures of this world can possibly afford him. If 
we will believe the Spirit of God, the sum total of 
them all is " Vanity of vanities, all is vanity, and 
vexation of spirit." If vanity can satisfy you, if 
vexation of spirit can giv? you content, if you can 
gather grapes off thorns 01 figs off thistles, then go 
and doat upon the creatures. 



C 72 ) 

2dly. Men in general are continually viewing 
death as at a distance ; and thereby entirely lose 
-sight of the awful certainty and unavoidableness 
of it. When they are young, the heat of blood, the 
incessant flow of the animal spirits, a vicious edu- 
cation, and the constant company of the dissipated 
and unawakened, drive away every thought of 
death, as if the solemn moment wei*e at the utmost 
distance from them. Those who are grown up to 
manhood, and are strong and healthy, think it quite 
sufficient to provide for death, when sickness gives 
the summons.' Those who are sickly and di- 
seased, buoy up themselves in their false confidence 
by the hopes of recovery: and even the aged, 
(strange as it seems I) regard their few remaining 
days as if they were years. Such is the state of the 
unregenerate; such the dreadful consequence of 
a heart hardened to divine things by original and 
actual sin ! What if God were to summon you 
away, sinners, in an hour or a moment ! How 
dreadful would be the alarm ! And should we not 
be every moment prepared, by living in the favour 
of God, and in the light of his countenance ; for 
who can assure himself for a moment to come ? 
JFor aught you know, the film, the bubble, which 
holds your lives, is now breaking ! O did we but 
seriously consider by v/hat small pins this frame 
of man is tacked together, it would appear to us a 
miracle that we live for a single hour. 

3dly. The apprehensions, the terrors, arising in 
the minds of the unregenerate from reflections upon 
death, keep them from any due considerations on 
the certainty and unavoidableness of it. The ago- 
nies of death, the senseless corpse, the gnawing 
worms, the stench of rottenness, and all the other 
attendants of that griming of terrors, form far 
i.00 miserable a subject for the jovial world or the 



( 73 ) 

dissipated throng to reflect upon for a moment. 
But though the consideration of these things is 
very unwelcome., yea, very dismal to the minds of 
sinners, yet there is far worse behind ; and that 
is the sin which deserves death, and the hell 
which follows it. To be for ever shut up in utter 
darkness, to be the sport of devils, as far as devils 
can sport themselves with any thing, to be banish- 
ed for ever from the source of happiness, to have 
the soul eternally tormented by the worm which 
dieth not, and the immortalized body by a fire 
suited to its ever dying, but never annihilated sub- 
stance : — these subjects afford ideas, which, if tho- 
roughly attended to, and applied by the grace of 
God, would soon stir up the soul to enter into that 
state of favour with the Lord, which would make 
dissolution a privilege, and death a kind messenger 
without a sting, to open the gate to everlasting 

j°y s - 

III. JBut this leads me to the third head of my 
^discourse, namely, to lay down some considerations 
.against the feav of death, for the use and comfort 
of believers. 

1st. If the soul be immortal, if it were created 
and redeemed for the eternal enjoyment of God, 
and consequently enter after death on an infinitely 
better life than this, the believer may certainly be 
well contented, yea, glad to die. The glorious 
view, which faith opens to the spiritual eye, far 
overbalances all the frightful objects with which 
death is surrounded. The scenes of pure, peren- 
nial bliss, where saints eternally bask themselves in 
the bright beams of the countenance of their God, 
and bathe themselves in the rivers of pleasures 
which flow at his right hand for evermore, are suf- 
ficient, though only viewed in prospect, to elevate 
the soul above every terrifying thought which can 
possibly assail iU An old heathen philosopher, 

7 



( 74 ) 

Tullius Cicero, in his dream of Scipio, beautifully 
observes, " If I were now disengaged from my 
cumbrous body, and on the wing for Elysium," 
(the place where the ancient Romans supposed the 
virtuous would dwell after death) u and some su- 
perior Being should meet me in my flight, and 
make me an offer of returning and reanimating 
my body, I should without hesitation reject his of- 
fer : so much rather would I go to Elysium, to re- 
side with Socrates and Plato, and all the ancient 
worthies, and spend my time in conversing with 
them." But could a heathen thus triumph in the 
thought of enjoying his poor miserable paradise; 
and prefer it even to life, how much more may a 
christian triumph in the exulting thought, that he 
shall spend an eternity with the wisest, the holiest, 
the happiest beings that ever came out of the crea- 
tive hand of God : yea, that he shall spend an eter - 
nity with Jesus, the Mediator of the New Coven- 
ant, the joy of his heart, and the delight of his 
eyes ; where he shall fix his ever-waking eyes on 
the infinite beauty of his adorable Lord ; yea, if 
it were possible, would think eternity itself too 
short for the beholding and admiring such transcend- 
ent excellencies, and for the solemnizing those 
heavenly espousals between Christ and his most 
beloved spouse, when all the powers of heaven 
shall triumph for joy, and a concert of seraphims 
for ever sing the wedding-song. 

2dly. The whole life of a christian is founded 
on a hope, which cannot be accomplished but by 
dying How exceedingly mistaken must he be, 
who fears that which alone can gratify his highest 
wishes, and is the great end of all his pursuits. 
What does the christian chiefly hope for ? Is it not 
the full enjoyment of his God in the realms of bliss ? 
Is it not the restoration of his whole nature to the 
full image of God, in which it was at first created ; 



( rs ) 

and the recovery of that paradise, which he ha9 
lost by the fall ; a paradise, the glories of which 
shall be inconceivably heightened by the union of 
the divine and human natures in the person of the 
second Adam, the Son of God ? Is it not to live 
for ever ivith his adorable and most beloved Sa- 
viour t to be with him where he is, and to behold 
the glory w r hich the "Father hath given him ? Is it 
not to sit with Christ in his throne, according to 
his most gracious promise, even as Christ sits with 
his Father on his throne ? Is it not to join the re- 
deemed and the innumerable hosts of angels, in 
singing continually alleluias, salvation, and glory, 
and honour, and power, to God and the Lamb ? In 
short, is it not to see God face to face, to enjoy the 
beatific vision, to experience an inconceivably clo- 
ser union and communion with God than we pos- 
sibly can during the present scene of things, to be 
for ever blessed in the close embraces of the sove- 
reign good ? But can we be possessors of these 
mighty joys without passing through the valley of 
death ? and shall a christian be afraid of that which 
alone can enable him to realize the glorious hope, 
which is the very support of his life ? Should it 
jiot rather be the language of his soul, " I desire to 
be dissolved, and to be with Christ, which is far 
better." 

3dly. Death is no more than a quiet sleep. Thus 
it is frequently represented in the oracles of God. 
" Behold, thou shalt sleep with thy fathers.* Ma- 
ny that sleep in the dust shall awake.f Our friend 
Lazarus sleepetli4 Stephen fell asleep. || I would 
not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning 
them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not even as 

* Deut. xxxi. 16 and 2 Sam. vii. 12. 
f Dan. xii. 2. * John xi. 11. 

H Acts vii, 60. 



( 76 ) 

others, which have no hope. For if we believe 
that Jesus died and rose again , even so them also 
which sleep in Jesus, will God bring with him. 
For we which are alive and remain unto the com- 
ing of the Lord, shall not prevent them which are 
asleep.* Some are fallen asleep. They are fall- 
en asleep in Christ.f The fathers fell asleep."^: 
The inspired writers seem to delight in the meta- 
phor, when applied to the death of the faithful : 
and what can be more expressive. The weary la- 
bourer lays himself down to sleep till the morning* 
and the christian takes his sleep in the grave till 
the morning of the resurrection, only with this es«* 
sential difference : the common sleep of nature de- 
prives us of the natural light, but the sleep of death 
brings the believer to the vision of the true and 
otherwise inaccessible light. Why then should the 
christian be afraid of death ? Surely, he may take 
the serpent into his bosom ; for he has not only lost 
his sting, but is reconciled to the believer, and be^ 
come one of his party. Therefore, says St. Paul, 
44 Whether life or death, all is yours :" and again, 
u To me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain." 
And well may the christian rejoice in death ; and 
welcome the pleasing messenger ; for it is the hand 
of death which draws the curtain, and lets him in 
to see God face to face in heaven, that palace of in- 
estimable pleasure and delight, where the strongest 
beams of glory shall beat fully upon our faces, and 
we shall be made strong enough to bear them. 
Neither does death do any real injury to our bo- 
dies, since they shall be new moulded at the resur- 
rection; when " this mortal shall put on immortali- 
ty, and this corruptible put on incorruption :" when 
these dull lumps shall become as impassable as the 

* 1 Thess. iv. 13, 14, 15. f 1 Cor.xv, 6, 18, 

* 2 Pet. iii. 4. 



( w*$ 

angelic nature, subtle as a ray of light, bright as 
the sun, nimble as lightning. Who is there, that is 
truly armed with this helmet of salvation, this hope 
of heaven, who would for a moment desire to have 
the law of death reversed ? Surely, a holy soul may 
frequently be breathing forth desires (though with 
due resignation,) after the kind office of death, to 
deliver it into so great and incomprehensible a 
glory. 

IV. I now proceed, in the fourth place, to draw 
some inferences from what has been advanced. 

1st. If death be so certain and unavoidable, and 
it be u appointed unto men once to die," what ex- 
quisite folly is it to suffer our affections to cleave 
to any thing here below ! How painful must the 
parting be, when we are drawn from our dearest 
idols, from our chief joy ! How different is the con- 
cluding scene of the pious and the unregenerate ! 
Angels are waiting to receive the former, and to 
accompany them to their beloved Bridegroom, 
their adorable Lord : whilst devils are ready to seize 
upon the latter, and to bring them to their place of 
torment. Some of the voluptuous heathens were 
accustomed to bring in the resemblance of an ana- 
tomy to their feasts, in order to remind their guests 
of their favourite motto, a Let us eat and drink, 
for to-morrow we die :" let us indulge ourselves in 
every pleasure of sense, since annihilation daily ap- 
proaches, and we shall then sink into an eternal 
sleep. How much better is the advice of the 
apostle : " But this, I say, brethren, the time is 
short. It remaineth, that both they that have 
wives, be as though they had none ; and they 
that weep, as though they wept not ; and they that 
rejoice, as though they rejoiced not ; and they that 
buy, as though they possessed not ; and they that 
use this world, as not abusing it; for the fashion of 

7 # 



( ™ ) 

this world passeth away."* 1 Why should any thing 
this world can allure us with, be of any price in a 
wise man's esteem ? Both they and we perish in the 
using : they are dying comforts ; and we must die- 
who enjoy them. And therefore, 

2dly. As we must all shortly die, let us labour 
to be always in readiness and preparation for the 
awful hour. On this head of my discourse, I shall 
only lay down a few short directions, and then pro- 
ceed to the more immediate subject of our meeting. 

1. Wean your hearts from the love of the w T orld. 
Death must and will pluck you from it. Why 
then should you toil, and waste your lives on so 
precarious, so transitory an object. Every thing be- 
low is fading ; but your precious souls are immor- 
tal. Be not therefore unequally yoked ; join not 
your ever-living souls to dying comforts : this 
would be a tyranny worse than that which was ex- 
ercised by those of old, who tied living bodies to 
dead carcases. When you take your eternal fare- 
well of all sublunary enjoyments, what lingering 
looks will you cast on those dear nothings, those 
miserable follies which you clasped round your 
heart, unless almighty grace has wrenched your 
affections from them : whilst the soul which is cru- 
cified to the world, and the world to it—which sits 
loose to every thing below, spreads its wings, and 
takes its glad flight to realms where bliss and love 
immortal reign. Soon will the films fall off from 
the eyes of worldlings. When they stand before 
the awful bar of God, with what astonishment will 
they behold the men whom they once despised, shi- 
ning as the stars of the firmament at the right hand 
of the Judge. " They shall be troubled with terri- 
ble fear, and shall be amazed at the strangeness of 

* 1 Cor. vii.29, 30, 31. 



( 79 ) 

the salvation of the righteous, so far beyond all 
which they looked for ; and repenting, and groaning 
for anguish of spirit, they shall say within them- 
selves, These were they whom we had sometime in 
derision, and a proverb of reproach. We fools ac- 
counted their life madness ; and their end to be 
without honour. Now are they numbered among 
the children of God, and their lot is among the 
saints !" And then will the final separation take 
place ; those who were here dead to the world > 
and walked with God, shall ascend up to the mar- 
riage-supper of the Lamb, and be ever with their 
Lord, whilst the others sink down into the place, 
prepared for the devil and his angels. 

2. Would you be prepared for death, then delay 
not your conversion (if you be unregenerate) for 
another day. Get an interest in Christ as soon as 
possible. By earnest prayer and active faith, press 
into the liberty of the children of God. Remem- 
ber him, who has said, u many shall seek to enter 
in, and shall not be able." It is not an empty wish 
or languishing endeavour, which will s«rve the turn. 
He that is but almost a christian, shall but almost be 
saved. You must " strive to enter in at the strait 
gate." To those who thus knock, it shall certainly 
be opened. God delights to bless the earnestly- 
seeking soul. 

3. Live every day as if it were your last, and 
the ne.vt were allotted for eternity. It may be so : 
and when we consider the importance of eternal 
things, of the everlasting happiness of the blessed, 
and the everlasting misery of the impenitent, it 
should lead us to leave nothing to the hazard. — 
For there is no end of procrastination. There will 
be the same tempting devil, and the same treacher^ 
ous heart to-morrow as to-day, only made more 
treacherous by delay. Therefore, " now is the ac- 



( se ) 

^epted time, now is the day of salvation. Now, 
while it is called to-day, harden not your hearts." 
Do you think you can be happy too soon ? Or do 
you think that God will accept of the dregs of 
your life, when you have given the strength of it to 
vanity, folly, and the devil ? Begin, therefore, to 
live to God every day and every hour. 

4. You, who are believers, be constant in the e** 
crcise of a holy life. Let your fellowship be with 
the Father, and his son Jesus Christ. Labour to 
walk in the light, as God is in the light, and the 
blood of Jesus Christ his Son shall cleanse you 
from all sin. Walk as heirs of heaven, led and 
moved by the spirit of Christ in you. Live habit- 
ually by faith in the Son of God, who loved you, and 
gave himself for you. Be much in the exercise of the 
presence of God ; and he will more and more smile 
upon you, and more and more reveal himself to you* 
You shall be strong in the Lord, and in the power 
of his might, and shall overcome the wicked one : 
yea, you shall be more than conquerors through 
him that hath loved you* 

5. Lastly, Take care to preserve an abiding wit- 
ness of the favour of God. Watch unto prayer 
for this. There is nothing else will support you 
in the dying hour ; there is nothing else will make 
you comfortable through life. To retain a clear 
sense of your interest in Jesus Christ, a constant 
assurance of the love of God — O this will turn 
the waste wilderness of the world into a little pa- 
radise i it will enable you to triumph with the poet ; 

" Should [Providence] command me to the farthest vergfe 
Of the green earth, to distant, barb'rous climes 

— 'Tis nought to me : 

Since God is ever present, ever felt ; 
In the void waste, as in the city full: 
And where he vital breathes, there must be joy," 



( 81 ) 

Above all, at the hour of death, what can sup*- 
port us but this mighty blessing ; and it will sup- 
port the believer. For, whom will it not comfort 
to think, that death will change his bottle into a 
spring ? Though here our water sometimes fails 
us, yet in heaven, where we are going, we shall bathe 
ourselves in ai* infinite ocean of delights, lying at 
the breasts of an infinite fountain of life and sweet- 
ness. Whoever has such an assurance, cannot but 
welcome death, embracing it not, *>nly with con- 
tentment but delight : and while the soul is strug- 
gling, and striving to unclasp itself, and to get, 
loose from the body, it cannot but say with holy 
longings and pantings, " Come Lord Jesus, come 
quickly." 

V. I proceed in the 5th and last place, to present 
you with an epitome of the experience, death, and: 
character of our deceased friend, Mrs. Hester Aani 
Rogers. 

She was borne at Macclesfield, in Cheshire, on 
the 31st of January, 1756; of which place he# 
father was minister for many years- She was 
trained up in the observance of all outward duties,, 
and in the fear of those sins, which ihthese mo- 
dern times are too often deemed accomplishments. 
She was followed by divine impressions from her 
childhood, and was early drawn out to secret prayer. 
From four years old, she never remembered going 
to bed without saying her prayers, except once.— 
When she wanted any thing, or was in pain, or 
grief, she fled to God in secret ; and it would be 
incredible to some, how often she received manifest 
answers to prayer in that early period of her life. 

In the ninth year of her age, her pious father 
dying, her mother was prevailed on to let her learn 
to dance, in order to raise her spirits, and improve 
her carriage. This was a fatal stab to her divine 
impressions ; it paved the way to lightness, trifling,, 



( 82 ) 

love of pleasure, and various evils. As she soon 
made a proficiency, she delighted much in this en- 
snaring folly. Yet in all this she was not left with- 
out keen convictious, gentle drawings, and many 
short-lived good resolutions. 

When she arrived at the age of fourteen, the 
Lord visited her with affliction : during this ill- 
ness she had an alarming dream, which, together 
with the danger attending her disorder, made a 
deep impression on her mind for some time. But 
alas ! her health and strength were no sooner resto- 
red, than (being solicited by her companions in gay 
life) she again returned to her former follies ; such 
as balls, plays, dress, assemblies, &c. the love of 
which continued to grow upon her more and more, 
for upwards of two years, and nearly engrossed 
the whole of her time. 

After this, she was deeply wrought upon by a 
sermon, which the Rev. Mr. Simpson, of Maccles- 
field, preached on " What shall it profit a man if 
he gain the whole world and lose his own soul." 
And soon after felt further convictions under an- 
other which he preached upon the new birth, from 
John iii. 3. She now saw and felt as she had ne- 
yer done before, that she must experience that di- 
vine change or perish. 

In April, 1774, on the Sunday before Easter, 
Mr. Simpson preached from John vi. 44, " No 
man can come unto me, except the Father which 
hath sent me draw him." Under this sermon she 
felt herself indeed a lost, perishing sinner ; a rebel 
against repeated convictions, and a condemned 
criminal by the law of God, who deserved to be 
sentenced to eternal pain ! She felt she had broken 
her baptismal vow, her sacramental vows, and had 
no title to any mercy, or any hope ! She wept 
aloud, so that all around her were amazed ; nor 
was she any longer ashamed to own the cause*--- * 



( 83 ) 

8he went home, ran up stairs, and fell on her 
knees, and made a solemn vow to renounce and 
forsake all her sinful pleasures, and trifling com- 
panions. 

She could not eat, or sleep, or take any comfort* 
The curses throughout the whole Bible seemed 
pointed all at her, and she could not claim a single 
promise. Thus she continued till Good-Friday. 
After many conflicts, she ventured once more to 
approach the Lord's table. As the minister was 
reading that sentence in the communion service, 
"If any man sin, we have an advocate," &c. a ray 
of divine* light was darted into her soul, and she 
was enabled to believe there was mercy for her ; 
she felt a degree of love to God spring up in her 
heart, and in a measure could rejoice in him. But 
alas ! this was only for a short season ? She had 
never yet heard the Methodists, nor had she lost all 
her prejudices against them : but a neighbour, 
who had lately found peace M'ith God, advised her 
strongly to hear them : she resolved to go private- 
ly, and went accordingly at five o^ clock one morning. 
The text was, ^ Comfort ye. comfort ye, my peo- 
ple, saith your God." She thought every word the 
preacher said was for her : he spoke to her heart as 
if he had known all the secret workings there. — 
She was much comforted, her prejudices were now 
fully removed, and she received a full and clear 
conviction, u These are the people of God." 

She met with a little pamphlet, entirled, "The 
great duty of believing on the Son of God." She 
was much encouraged on reading this ; and would 
gladly have spent the night in prayer : but her 
mother (with whom she slept) would not suffer it. 
She therefore went to bed, but could not sleep ; 
and at four in the morning rose again, that she might 
wrestle with the Lord. Site prayed, but it seemed 
in vain ! the heavens appeared as brass ; and hope 



( 84 ) 

seemed almost sunk into despair ! When suddenly 
the Lord spake that promise to her heart; "Be- 
lieve on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be 
saved." She revived and cried, u Lord, I know this 
is thy word, arid I can depend upon it." Again it 
tame, " Only believe." " Lord Jesus," said she, 
u I will, I do believe : I now venture my whole sal- 
vation upon thee as God ! I put my guilty soul in- 
to thy hands ; thy blood is sufficient ! I cast my 
soul upon thee for time and eternity." Then did he 
appear to her salvation : in that moment, her bands 
were loosed ; her soul was set at liberty; and the 
love of God so shed abroad in her heart, that she 
rejoiced with joy unspeakable ; and for eight 
months she experienced no interruption to her bliss. 

But now the Lord began to reveal in her heart, 
that sin was not all destroyed : for though she had 
.constant victory over it, yet she felt the remains of 
anger, pride, self-will, and unbelief, often rising, 
which occasioned a degree of heaviness &*d sor- 
row. At first, she was much amazed to feel such 
things* 

About this time the Lord was pleased to make 
the preaching of Mr. Duncan Wright a great bless- 
ing to her. He clearly explained the nature of 
salvation from inbred sin ; and shewed it to be as 
freely promisectin scripture, and as fully purchased 
by the blood of Jesus, as pardon. Henceforth, 
she could not rest, but cried to the Lord, night and 
day, to cast out the strong man, and all his armour 
of unbelief and sin. 

On the morning of February 22, 1776, when at 
prayer, her intercourse was open with her beloved, 
and various promises were presented to her view. 
She thought, Shall I now ask small blessings only 
of my God ? Lord^ make this the moment of my 
full salvation ! Baptize me now with the Holy 
Ghost, and the fire of pure love. Now, cleanse the 



( 85 ) 

the thoughts of my heart, and let me perfectly love 
thee. 1 ' 

Thus she continued agonizing till the Lord ap- 
plied that promise, I will circumcise thy heart, 
and thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy 
heart." She said, " Lord, thou art faithful, and 
this is thy word ; I cast my whole soul upon thy 
promise. Now Lord, I do believe : this momenfT 
thou dost save. Yea, Lord, my soul is delivered 
of her burden. I am emptied of all ; I am at thy 
feet, a helpless, worthless worm ; but I take hold 
of thee as my fulness ! Every thing that I want, 
thou art. Thou art wisdom, strength, love, holi- 
ness : yea, and thou art mine ! love sinks me into 
nothing : it overflows my soul. O my Jesus, thou 
art all in all. In thee I behold and feel all the 
fulness of the godhead mine. I am now one with 
God : — the intercourse is open :«— sin, inbred sin 
no longer hinders the close communion, and God 
is all my own !" 

She now walked in the unclouded light of his 
countenance : and yet she did not feel so much rap- 
turous joy as she had been led to expect : but was 
rather, as it were, overwhelmed with that " Sacred 
awe which dares not move, and all that silent hea- 
ven of love." 

She resolved at first not to declare openly what 
the Lord had wrought : but it was seen in her 
countenance; and when asked respecting it, she 
durst not deny the wonders of his love ! and she 
soon found that repeating his goodness confirmed 
her own faith more and more. 

From this time we may clearly perceive the in- 
crease of her joy in God, and her deep commu- 
nion with him, from her private Diary, where she 
writes as follows : 

8 



C 86 ) 

" On Trinity Sunday, June, 1776, I met in the 
select society at six in the morning, and it was a 
blessed season to my soul. 

Mr, Wright dwelt a little on the equal love of 
each person in the adorable Trinity, in a manner 
which I found truly profitable : afterwards he 
preached from Ephes, ii. 18. "Through him we 
both have access by one Spirit unto the Father." 
He shewed the distinct relative offices of Father, 
Son, and Spirit, in man's salvation, and that the 
love of the Father was ever equal ; as also that of 
the Son, and that of the Holy Ghost: that all the 
designs of the Son were the designs of the Father 
also, and of the Holy Ghost. He also spoke much 
of the near union and communion with God, which 
believers might enjoy, especially those perfected 
in love. My soul was led into depths unspeakable, 
and saw such a fulness of God ready for me to 
plunge into, that what I now felt seemed only as a 
drop compared with the ocean ! As I came into the 
chapel yard, I felt peculiar union with the adorable 
Jesus, in all his offices of redeeming love ; and 
and that verse of a hymn was so powerfully sweet 
as I never had felt it before — 

" The opening heavens around me shine, 

With beams of sacred bliss; 
"While Jesus shews his mercy mine > 

And whispers I am his." 

I was deeply penetrated with his presence, and 
stood as if unable to move, and was insensible to 
all around me. While thus lost in communion with 
my Saviour, he spoke those words to my heart — 
"All that 1 have is thine ! — I am Jesus, in whom 
dwells all the fulness of the Godhead bodily — I 
am thine ! — My spirit is thine ! my Father is thine ? 






( er ) 

"they love thee, as I love thee — the whole Deity is 
thine ! All God is, and all he has, is thine ! — 
He even £now overshadows thee ! He now co- 
vers thee with the cloud of his presence." All 
this was so realized to my soul, in a manner I 
cannot explain, that J sunk down motionless, be- 
ing unable to istain the weight of his glorious 
presence and fulness of love. At the Altar, this 
was renewed to me, but not in so large a measure. 
I believe, indeed, if this had continued as I felt 
it before, but for one hour, mortality must have 
been dissolved, and the soul dislodged from its te- 
nement of clay. 

Friday, 21. I prove, through boundless mercy 
and free grace, an increasing intercourse and com- 
munion with my God every day. I live and mov.e 
in him alone ! Wherever I go, whatever I do, I 
feel the presence of the Great Three One — " Yea, 
he dwelleth with me, and shall be in me :" this is 
his promise to my soul. I feel I am under his lov- 
ing eye, and the continual guidance of his Spirit. 
I do indeed dwell m God, and God in me ! O love 
unsearchable to such a worm ! — u I loath myself 
when God I see, and into nothing fall !'* 

Sunday, 23. In meeting with the select society 
again, I had unspeakable communion with the bless- 
ed Trinity ! I had the same at the preaching also. 
Mr. PercivaPs text was, " O God, thou art my 
God. 5 ' A sense of the Divine presence almost 
overcame my body. All the day I have been fill- 
ed with a solemn weight of love, and swallowed up 
in God the eternal Father, Saviour, Comforter. — 
At church, while that anthem was sung, u I know 
that my Redeemer liveth," &c. I was so overwhelm- 
ed with the power of God, and had such a fore- 
taste of his glory, I thought I should have died ! — 
O the depths of his indulgent, condescending love ! 
He knows my trials, and the need I have of such 



C 88 ) 

consolations to strengthen and support my weak- 
ness. I live by faith — this is my soul's strong an- 
chor, which lays hold on Omnipotence, and receives 
a momentary supply for every want. My God is 
always near — He is my one object, the centre and 
end of all my desires — He is my all in all. 55 

After a wonderful chain of divine leadings and 
remarkable providences, on August 19, 1784, she 
was married to Mr. Rogers, in whom the Lord gave 
her a help-mate for glory ; just such a partner as 
she needed to strengthen her. He made them of 
one heart and one soul : and for above ten years r 
srowned their union with his constant smile. Soon 
after their marriage, they went to Dublin, where 
Mr. Rogers was appointed to laboxir. In that city 
they were gladly received, and the Lord gave them 
the hearts of the people. They saw a blessed revi- 
val of the work of God : and in three years, the 
number in society was increased more than double* 
From thence they removed to Cork, where also the 
Lord graciously revived his work. His word 
greatly prospered and prevailed) and many in that 
city still remember with gratitude the happy sea- 
sons which they enjoyed together. And it appears 
from what our dear friend wrote of herself when 
there, that she never before was more happy in her 
own soul, nor enjoyed deeper communion with her 
God, than during her stay in that city. After 
spending three years in Cork, they removed to 
London; and for two years resided in Mr. "Wes- 
ley's house at the new chapel ; where they also had 
the happiness of seeing the work of God prosper : 
many souls were brought into christian liberty ; and 
in two years, not less than five hundred were added 
to the society in the city and suburbs. Here in- 
deed it might be said, "the walls of Jerusalem 
were built in troublesome times." — The awful 
event of Mr. Wesley's death, which happened du~ 



( 89 ) 

ring the residence of Mr. and Mrs. Rogers at the 
City Road, rendered their situation exceeding cri- 
tical and trying, as many of you well know. 

In August, 17Q2, the conference stationed Mr, 
Rogers here, (at Spitalfields) in order to put this 
chapel and the adjoining dwelling-house into a 
state of good repair ; in which labour of love he 
was truly indefatigable : You now reap the benefit, 
and are thankful that you can here retire and wor- 
ship God in peace. Notwithstanding the work ne- 
cessary to be done upon the premises was great ; 
yet, before the end of October, Mrs. Rogers and 
the children were comfortably placed in their new 
habitation ; and a few days afterwards, she wrote 
in her diary as follows : 

" I feel grateful to my God that I am placed 
here, though but for a season ; where I can enjoy 
more retirement, and less of busy life. My God 
is with me, and I trust he will draw and unite more 
fully to himself his helpless creature ! I have power 
with him in prayer, and I know he will answer 
my enlarged request, for myself, my other self, and 
our offspring. I long for a yet larger measure of 
the mind of* Christ ; more of every grace, and a 
deeper communion with my God. All temptations 
respecting conflicts with Satan in death are vanish- 
ed. I know my Joshua will be with me in Jordan, 
and see me safe through ! Sometimes I have thought 
1 shall have to pass that river before it be long ;: 
but that I leave to him. I feel no desire of life, 
but when I see my dear husband oppressed with 
trials, and my living seems as if it would be a help 
and comfort to him ; or, when a silent wish arises 
to see my children grow, and partakers of i?ege- 
nerating grace : but I am kept from anxiety." 

During her state of pregnancy she had much 
bodily affliction, and was reduced very low. The 

8. '*■ 



( 90 ) 

state of her soul will best appear from her own 
words ; as also the narrow escape from death which 
she then had, at the time of her delivery. 

"January 1, 1793, I had not much sleep, yet I 
arose refreshed, and resolved to live for God alone. 
I feel him mine : and that I am offered to him 
without reserve. I know varioua^ bodily oppres- 
sions, natural to my present state, hinder my re- 
joicing as much in him as at other times : but my 
trust is fixed on his Almighty love ! and I feel I 
cannot trust in vain. He is my strong helper ; and 
my painful feelings do work for my good, for they 
lead me to cast my helplessness upon his fulness, and 
to seek my all from him alone. Yes, and I trust 
to prove the uttermost of these sweet lines ;— 



J e I shall suffer and fulfil, 
All my Father's gracious will ; 
Be in all alike resign'd, 
Jesus's is a patient mind." 






On April the 20th, I suffered much in lingering 
labour pains, and at night saw it needful to send 
for the doctor. He came, and hoped I should 
soon be delivered; but at midnight my pains left 
me. I was tolerable easy all the next day, and ena- 
bled in patience to wait the Lord's leisure. I slept 
better that night than I had done for some weeks, 
and was greatly refreshed. In the morning, linger-* 
ing labour came on again ; and the pain was so 
excruciating and constant (though unavailable) that 
I thought I must have expired ! Having continued 
in this state about six hours, my labour came on 
with uncommon violence and rapidity, so that in a 
few minutes I was mercifully delivered of a lovely 
girl. But O ! it was nature's agony indeed ! For 
a little time gratitude unspeakable overflowed my 
heart, and body and soul experienced a heaven. — i 
But, this was soon passed : and I was thrown back 



i 91 ) 

upon the verge of eternity. Mr. Jones laboured to 
save me till the sweat ran down his temples for 
three hours — and for twelve hours I was between 
life and death ! I felt, however, no fears of dying : 
all within was peace. When capable of thought, I 
could view a blessed eternity with delight. I re- 
covered very slowly : and at times suffered much ; 
but the Lord continued to comfort my soul ; and 
though few thought I should be restored, yet I be- 
lieved I should. My dear husband suffered much 
on my account ; and I believe his tenderness great- 
ly contributed to my recovery. 

The Leeds Conference drawing near, my dear 
partner left me on July 21, and in the night after, 
my Hester was seized with a malignant fever. The 
weather was uncommonly hot ; and what my fa- 
tigue and weakness was, my God only knows ! 
But he held me up, that I did not sink ; and my 
soul was happy in his love. In this time of af- 
fliction I had peculiar intercourse and communion 
with God in prayer, both with the fartiily r and in 
secret ; and I received manifest answers. On the 
seventh day the fever came to a crisis — my child 
was quite. delirious, and very ill indeed; but I felt 
fully resigned to the will of God respecting her life 
or death ! About nine in the evening, her piercings 
cries, through agonizing pain in her head, were 
very pitiable ; and I entreated the Lord, in the 
prayer of faith, to give her ease* He heard — he 
answered ! The pain was instantaneously removed, 
and she fell into a slumber ; but it soon appeared 
to be the sleep of death ! Her feet, legs, and hands 
were cold, her nails blue, and she was motionless 
till a little past four in the morning. Just then, a 
blister which I had put on her back b^gan to rise, 
and signs of life appeared ; by degrees warmth re- 
turned to her arms, hands, and feet; then motion, 
and lastly speech. After this, a mighty change 



( 92 ) 

appeared; her fever was gone, and the next day 
she sat up some hours, and continued to recover 
in a most wonderful manner. "What cannot the 
Lord do ? Upon the whole, when I look back, I 
can only wonder and adore ! repeating with the poet, 

" I stand and admire thy outstretched arm 
Having walk'd through the fire, and suffer'd no harm !" 

Out of weakness, surely I have been made strong, 
both as it respects body and soul. What a feeble 
frame ! Yet, how am I strengthened of the Lord 
to bear fatigue, loss of rest, and painful sensations. 
How helpless and unworthy ; yet comforted in my 
God — strengthened to do his will ; to offer up my 
child, and with entire resignation to say, a It is the 
Lord, let him do what seemeth him good !" How 
sweet also my prospects into a glorious eternity ! 
and when weakest, no gloomy fears of entering 
those abodes : — but the blessed testimony, that 
where Jesus is, ( u My Lord and my God !"} 
there shall his servant be, and shall see his face — 
" His godhead, without a veil, wrapped up m Fa- 
ther, Son, and Spirit, for evermore !" 

Upon leaving London, she writes as follows : 
" Sunday, Sept. 1, I heard Mr. Rogers at the 
new chapel in the morning, and had a blessed sea- 
son. He also preached at Spitalfields in the even- 
ing, from, " Finally brethren, farewell." The 
singers at both places took leave by hymns adapted 
for the purpose, very sweet and affecting. A mix- 
ture of love and friendly grief, together with deep 
gratitude to God, filled my soul. Lord, remember 
this dear people with tenfold blessings! On the 
two following days, the simple-hearted affection 
shewn by very many of God's dear children, af- 
fected me much. I saw my dear and only brother; 
on Tuesday evening. I felt much at parting;, i 



( S3 ) 

think we shall not meet again on earth ! After this T 
I called upon our valuable friends, Tooth, Whit- 
field, Jones, and several others ; and then hasten- 
ed to meet my dear husband, at our kind friend's, 
Mr. Senols, where we supped. O thou God of 
love, preserve these until we meet them all again, 
where pain and parting are no more ! On Wednes- 
day, we dined at Mr. Ball's, and then hastened in 
a coach, with our children, to Mr. T. Shakspear's, 
in Smithfield. It was Bartholomew's fair; and 
such a scene, or rather manifold scenes of folly, 
my eyes never beheld, as was exhibited where 
once dying martyrs for Jesus offered up their latest 
breath ! With difficulty, but, thank God, with safe- 
ty, we got through. I found my body very poorly, 
and expected to faint ; but I had not been long in 
the coach before I was better. Through much 
mercy, we arrived next day at Birmingham, where 
our friends received us kindly. On the ensuing 
sabbath, Mr. Rogers preached from^ " I determine 
ed not to know any thing among you save Jesus 
JDhrist, and him crucified." The word was with 
power, and my soul was greatly comforted." 

It. was thought a change of air and situation 
would be useful to our dear friend, and have been 
a means under God, of strengthening her delicate 
constitution : but an obstinate windy complaint, 
which she was attacked with near three years be- 
fore her dissolution, baffled all human skill, and 
repelled the force of every medicine, and never 
left her till the day of her death. During the last 
three or four months of her life, out of various 
Other things, the following are extracted : 

u Since I came to Birmingham, the Lord has 
been very present with me : I have indeed been 
fed with the hidden manna of his love ! I have 
been peculiarly drawn out in prayer for the con- 
version of souls : and notwithstanding the enemy 



( 94 ) 

has laboured by various means to hinder this, yet 
the Lord hath given me to rejoice also herein. I 
feel my soul animated to praise my great source of 
bliss ! May all I have and all I am, be his devoted 
sacrifice ^r ever ! I feel it good to live by faith : 
it brings deep peace, and present power. I never 
can watch so well as when I thus momentarily be- 
lieve. I have of late felt very poorly in body ; 
and have had a degree of dulness hanging on my 
spirit : but I fly to the Lord* — I wrestle with him 
for its removal ; and I ever find he is a present 
God when I call ^pon him. And O! how he 
opens his heaven of love afresh in my soul, by 
giving me unspeakable views of what my Jesus 
suffered in the body for me ! and the love and 
sympathy he still feels to every suffering member. 
I have felt of late a deepening of the graces of faith, 
resignation, and entire dependence on my God. 
And O ! how good is the Lord, that he should thus 
prepare me for what h<* knew would touch me in 
the tenderest part. 

Afteif a very restless night, my dear Patty broke 
out very full of the small pox ; and for a fortnight, 
I had much exercise for faith and patience. But 
this was very little to what I felt on the return of 
my dearest husband from Barr, where, (on May 
19, 1T94 ; ) he had a kind of apoplectic fit. He fell- 
down as sudden as if he had been shot — -and still 
continues very unwell. Yet, in secret prayer, the 
Lord assured me he should not die, but live ! .0 ! 
what should I do at a time like this, if I had not 
a constant intercourse with my God ? But blessed 
be his dear name, I have access J:o him. He is in- 
deed my refuge and strength, a very present help 
in trouble ; and fills my soul with strong consola- 
tion. 

July 15, 1794. For some time I have felt a de- 
sire, if the Lord saw good, to accompany my dear 



( w ) 

husband to the Bristol conference. It would be a, 
gratification to see the dear children ; but much 
more do I desire to go on account of my dear part- 
ner's health, who has not yet recovered his late 
awful attack. I was in suspense however, until 
this day, whether I could go or not ; but now I 
see an opening in Providence ; and although there 
is a hazard with respect to myself in taking such a 
journey in my present state, yet the Lord assures 
me he will preserve my going out and my coming 
in; and greatly comforts my soul. On Tuesday, 
22, we set off at four o'clock in the morning, with 
Mr. Pawson, and as many more of the preachers 
as the coach could contain. We had a comfortable 
journey. I felt the Lord truly with me, and my 
' body was in a wonderful manner strengthened ; so 
that I was astonished to feel no more fatigued when, 
about ten o'clock, we arrived at our kind friend's, 
Mr. Hartland. We had also a refreshing sleep, 
$nd arose, both of us, in better health* than when 
we left home. May I deeply feel my many mer- 
cies as so many various pledges of my Father's 
love ! We found our three sweet boys, thank God, 
all in health, and overjoyed at seeing us. Joseph 
is making swift progress in the printing business, 
and likely to make an excellent workman. Ben- 
jamin is approved by his master, beloved by his 
school-fellows, and above all, I trust, he truly fears 
God. My James is very childish, (he is but eight 
years old) yet I think I see in him the dawnings of 
a noble spirit ; which, if governed by grace, will 
one day give us comfort in him also,' and make him 
a blessing to thousands. 

After different scenes, and manifold consolations 
during the time of conference; on August 10, we 
rose before three o'clock in the morning, and set 
off at four, on our journey home. Our friends 
were very affectionate : and our dear children also 



( 96 ) 

up to see us 'set off, and we left them all well* 
though sorrowful to part. I claimed my Lord's 
promise, to preserve me in coming in, as in going 
out ; and I proved him faithful. He did wonder- 
fully strengthen my poor body, and sustain my 
soul with his heart-felt presence. We arrived safe 
in our own habitation by nine in the evening, and 
found the three children we had left all well. And 
though I felt inexpressibly weary ; yet, to be 
brought safe in so critical a situation, (not two, 
months from the time of my expected confinement) 
filled my soul with unspeq^ble gratitude." 

During the few remaining weeks of her life she 
continued to breathe the following sweet language 
of a saint truly ripe for God* 

" Monday, Sept. 1, I had a good day, my inter- 
course ?/ith heaven is truly open, and my soul stay- 
.ed upon my God.— -Tuesday, 2, was a blessed day 
of nearness to God. His word was precious food ; 
and I found my heart enlarged in praise and love, 
Wednesday, 3, was also a day of inward comfort, 
though of bodily weakness. I had a very precious 
time in meeting my class. And although the poor 
sinners were baiting a bull by the window, I believe 
all, as well as myself, so felt the divine presence, as 
not to be disturbed by the rabble.— Thursday, 4, I 
had much cramp and little sleep in the night, which 
in some degree has weakened the animal frame ; 
but I feel peace in my God.- — Friday, 5, I believe 
in answer to prayer, I had refreshing sleep, and was 
better in body this day, and my soul comforted in 
my God." Thus she goes on from day to day, 
expressing the same unshaken confidence, and com- 
fort in her God ; even until she could write and 
speak no more ! — The last words she was able to 
write in her Journal are these : u My body is very 
poorly, and has been so most of the week ? O ! 
what a clog to the animal spirit ! Yet X am kept in 



( *r ) 

a praying, depending, resigned frame j determined 
to trust my God with my all." 

On the tenth of October, 1794, the' expected 
time of her travail being come, she was in great 
pain most of the day, rnd about eight o'clock in 
the evening she was delivered of a fine boy. She 
was not a little distressed with* her inveterate windy 
disorder during her labour, but after her delivery 
she seemed much relieved. She lay composed for 
more than half an hour with heaven in her counte- 
nance, praising God for his great mercy, and ex- 
pressing her gratitude to all around her. She took 
Mr. Rogers by th€ hand, and said, u My dear, the 
Lord has been very kind to us : O he is good, in- 
deed he is good ! But Fl! tell you more by and by." 
She thanked the doctor, and told him she would 
remember his kindness and attention another day, 
and expressed her entire satisfaction in all he had" 
done. But alas ! in a few minutes after this, her 
terrible complaint returned with redoubled violence, 
and instantly threw her whole frame into a state of 
agitation not to be described. A medicine just then 
arrived from the doctor, which she took : but all 
in vain. After a severe struggle for about fifteen 
minutes, bathed all over with a clammy, cold sweat, 
she laid her head on her husband's bosom, and said, 
44 I am going." Mr. Rogers, recovering a little 
from the dreadful feelings he had experienced, found 
a desire to propose a question or two to his dear 
wife, relative to the state of her soul : not for his 
own satisfaction ; for (as he observed to me) he 
could as soon call in question the truth of Revela- 
tion, and of all religious experience from the be- 
ginning, as doubt of her eternal happiness : but he 
did this, that God might be glorified, as in her 
life, so by her death, in the presence of many of 
her friends who were standing by, he said to 
her, " My dearest creature, is Jesus precious . ? " 

9 



C 93 ) 

She replied, "Yes, O yes, yes." He added, "My 
dearest love, I know Jesus Christ has long been 
your all in all ; can you now tell us he is so ?" 
She replied, M I can— he is — yes—but I am not 
Aible to speak." He again said, " O my dearest, it 
is enough." She then attempted to lift up her 
face to his, and kissed him with her quivering lips 
and latest breath. About ten o'clock (two hours 
after her delivery) she gently fell asleep in Jesus, 
in the thirty-ninth year of her age, leaving her in- 
animate clay in her dearest husband's arms, and 
seven children to feel their unspeakable loss. 

Thus lived and thus died one of the best of wo- 
men. Almost every thing that is good may be 
said of her, if she be viewed as a daughter, a wife, 
a mother, a friend, a private christian, or as a 
public person, particularly as a leader of classes 
and bands, in the Methodist society. Amighty 
grace, to which alone be ascribed all the glory, got 
to itself indeed a victory in this amiable woman. 

Her filial duty is hardly to be exceeded. Whilst 
she indulged herself in those pleasures which the 
world calls innocent, but which the children of 
God in all ages have known to be inconsistent 
with vital religion, she enjoyed the smiles of her 
mother, and of a flattering world. But no sooner 
did she become a confessor of Christ, but the 
clouds of persecution lowered, and afterwards fell 
down upon her with great severity. Her mother 
not only confined her for a considerable time, but 
at lass; gave her the alternative of leaving her 
house or of becoming her proper servant. She 
preferred the latter; and though brought up it* 
the most delicate manner, and of a very respect- 
able family, she submitted to the degradation, and 
for several months went through all the most me- 
nial offices with a patience and meekness not to be 
shaken. Her mother finding her incorrigibly pious 



( 99 ) 

and steady to her God (enthusiastic, as her mother 
would have termed it,) for the sake of her own 
honour raised her again from the ashes to the state 
of a child. But all this time Miss Roe discovered 
nothing but the height of filial affection; and 
continued so to do in every instance till her mo- 
ther's death. 

Her conjugal affection was equally great and 
steady : and indeed (as may be observed from what 
has been already said) Mr. Rogers stood in need 
of such a help meet for him. When he was sta- 
tioned in London as the assistant-preacher, his stea- 
dy attachment to the Methodist discipline raised 
up many powerful and bitter enemies against him. 
His sufferings were inexpressible, and his consti- 
tution very much impaired thereby : though at the 
same time it must be observed, that an una- 
nimous vote of thanks was granted him by the 
Methodist Conference,, for his exertions and 
his immoveable patience and fortitude in defence 
of Methodism. Mrs. Rogers was, to my know- 
ledge, during those three years of severe trial, his 
support indeed. More true conjugal love could 
not, I think, be manifested by a wife to her hus- 
band,than was by her, both at that time, and, I verily 
believe, upon all occasions. It seems probable, 
that she had received some secret intimations of 
her death, before she was taken in labour : which 
appears to be proved by a copy of verses, which 
were found among some of her choice papers a lit- 
tle after her death. Those glowing effusions, 
which may be expected to flow from the heart of a 
most affectionate wife, are so evidently displayed 
in these lines, that I transcribe the whole : 

" My hour is come, and angels round me wait, 
To take me to their glorious happy state ; 
Where free from sickness, death, and ev'ry pain, 
I shall whh God in endless pleasures reign. 



Transporting thought ! Thou dearest man adieu! 
5 feel no sorrow but in leaving you ; 
O thou, my comfort, thought, and only care, 
In these last words thy kindness I'll declare. 

In truth, in constancy, in faithful love, 
Few could you equal, none superior prove. 
Compell'd by frequent sickness to complain, 
You strove to lessen and assuage my pain. 

A tender care you never faiFd to shew, : 
A constant sharer in my present woe. 

More I would say my gratitude to own. 

But breath forsakes me, and my pulse is gone> 

Adieu, dear man ! — O spare 

Thy flood of grief, and of thy health take care. 

My blessing to my babes :-. Thou wilt be kind 
To the dear infants whom I leave behind. 
Train them to virtue, piety arid truth, 
And form fheir manners early in their youth, 

Farewell to all who now on me attend, 
The faithful servant and the weeping friend. 
The time is short till we shall meet again 
With Christ, to share the glories of his reign i" 

Her maternal care and affection shone equally 
bright. Though she devoted much of her time to 
religious duties in public and private, yet nothing 
seemed to be left undone which could make her 
children comfortable and happy. She even pre- 
vented all their wants; and was equally, nay, if it 
were possible, more attentive to Mr. Rogers's chil- 
dren by his former wife, than to her own. To the 
whole of them she delighted to give "precept upon 
precept, precept upon precept, line upon line, line 
upon line, here a little, and there a little ;" water- 
ing the whole of her labours upon them with many 
tea*s and daily fervent prayers. 

As a friend, she was faithful, and immoveable 
in her attachments : nothing but her friends' for- 
saking God, could induce her to abate her love for 



( ioi ) 

them. She was formed fo* society, and possessed 
the most delicate feelings which could arise from 
the social principle. And when some of her dear- 
est intimates treated her with neglect on account of 
some disputes in the connection, which they had no- 
thing to do with, she could still weep, and love, 
and pray for them, not as unworthy of her friend- 
Ship or of the favour of God, but as led away from 
her by misinformation and error of understanding, 
and perhaps also by some deviations from the per- 
fect love of God. 

But her forte, her greatest excellence, consisted 
in the enjoyment of her God. A very consider- 
able part of her life evidenced, that salvation from 
sin, and salvation from sufferings, are very differ- 
ent things. Her firm patience under deep afflictions- 
has been rarely, if ever, exceeded. Her conduct 
N in the hour of nature's sorrow in every instance 
astonished all who were near her ; and her suffer- 
ings on those occasions were very exquisite. Her 
animal spirits were astonishingly good at all times. 
She hardly ever in her life was in what is generally 
termed low spirits. She was ever cheerful, never 
light ; and always ready to lift up the hands of her 
husband and her friends, and to encourage their 
hearts. She enjoyed for many years that glorious 
blessing, which St. John in the 4th chapter of his first 
epistle speaks of, as his own experience and that of 
many, of whom he was writing, — that " perfect 
love of God, which casteth out all fear that hath 
torment." In short, she walked with God, she 
lived in the blaze of gospel-day, and Christ was 
her all in all. 

And as a public person, she was useful in a high 
degree. She never indeed assumed the authority 
of teaching in the church, but she visited the fa- 
therless and widows in their affliction, and delight- 
ed to pour out her soul in prayer for them. Very 

9 * 



( 1Q 2 ) 

many dying persons entered into the liberty of 
God ? s children under her prayers and exhortations, 
for she possessed a peculiar gift in bringing a pre- 
sent salvation home to the soul. The profit re- 
ceived in Macclesfield from her holy conversation 
for years before she married, induced pious and 
mourning souls to visit her ; and a very consider- 
able part of her time was daily spent in answering 
cases of conscience, spreading forth the loveliness 
and excellencies of Christ to penitents, and in build- 
ing up believers in their most holy faith. She then 
%vas a leader of Classes and Bands, and a mother 
in Israel to the young believers intrusted to her 
care. After her marriage she still became more 
extensively useful. Mr. Rogers, on his entering 
into a circuit, would only give a very few to her 
care, desiring her to complete the class out of the 
world ; and soon by her conversation and prayers 
and attention to every soul within her reach, would 
the number spring up to thirty or forty : and then 
her almost cruel husband, in this respect, for the 
glory of God, would transplant all the believers to 
other classes, and keep her thus continually working 
at the mine. In the city of Dublin only, Mr. Rogers 
himself confesses, some hundreds of those whom 
he received into society, w r ere brought to Christ or 
were awakened by her gentle, but incessant labours 
of love. In Cork also, and in London, a similar 
success attended her pious exertions. Thus did 
the Lord mould this blessed woman into his image 
as the potter does his clay, and use her for his glo- 
ry as the ready writer does his pen, until she had 
served him in her generation, and he said unto her, 
It is enough, come up higher. 

GO, AND DO THOU LIKEWISE, 



( 103 ) 



An Appendix to Mrs. Rogers^s Funeral Sermon, 
written by her husband. 

AS this tremendous stroke of Divine Provi- 
dence has wounded me in the tenderest nerve, 
I hope any irregularity of thought, or impropriety 
of expression, however censurable on other occa- 
sions, will be pardoned by the candid reader in the 
present instance. Especially as he will perceive 
in the preceding sermon, that mine is more thau a 
common loss ! 

The valuable pamphlet lately published by my 
dear companion, which contains a clear account of 
her experience from her childhood, supersedes ma- 
ny remarkable occurrences, which should other- 
wise have followed in this supplement ; and, as 
that little performance either is, or may be, in the 
possession of any friend who desires it, I am un- 
willing to say the same things, which are ranged 
there in a better manner than I feel adequate to 
under my present circumstances. If what follows 
.is made useful to any of my friends, the return I 
desire is a constant interest in their sympathetic 
prayers, that I may be supported under my irre- 
parable loss, and enabled to conduct myself in all 
things, during this most awful trying scene, not 
like a stoic, but as a christian. 

In my dear companion, I have certainly lost one 
of the best help-mates man was ever united to. — 
Her feeling sympathy, and faithful love, was, I be- 
lieve, seldom equalled, and never exceeded! With 
hers, my soul still feels, as it were, entwined and 
interwoven. She was (under God,) the centre and 
constant spring of all my domestic happiness.= — 
In her i have not only lost one of the most valua- 
ble and faithful wives ; but my dear children^ at 



( 104 ) 

the same time are bereft of a most tender, affection- 
ate parent, who always had their interest and hap- 
piness at heart. 

But what is incomparably more afflictive still to 
me, I have lost in her, my best help in spiritual 
things! She always gave me uncommon assistance 
in my labours, and greatly soothed all my cares 
and anxieties for the church's weal or woe. She 
was ever my comforter in the time of sorrow. — 
The evenness of her temper, and the cheerfulness 
of her disposition, both in sickness and in health 
were wonderful ! I never saw, for one moment, any 
thing like gloom in her countenance ; neither do I 
remember one trifling word ever to drop from her 
lips ; but on the contrary, she was always ready for 
spiritual conversation : and no company pained her 
mind equal to that where religious subjects were 
unpleasing, or impracticable. Witness her own 
words, soon after our arrival in Dubliu — 

44 Mrs. ; invited us to dinner, where we met 

with much gay company. Dr. — — took up the 
attention of the whole, with his trifling, ridiculous 
conversation, so that it was a very unprofitable sea- 
son : and I cried to the Lord in my spirit, that we 
might have no more such visits as these .'"—And, 
thank God, we had no more such while we con- 
tinued in that city : but on the contrary, our 
visits in general, were serious, spiritual, and profit- 
able, so that some time afterwards she remarks : — 

44 We dined with Mr. S. , and Mr. Henry 

Brook was with us ; he appears to be a man of deep 
piety, and the conversation was profitable. Blessed 
be God, all our visits since the first have been more 
to his glory. My soul feels much nearness to the 
people, and a sweet assurance we shall be blessed 
among them, and made a blessing. — O ! for, a heart- 
reviving shower of grace, and penteccstal blessings ! 
The Lord I fenow sent us here> and surely it is fox 



( 105 ) 

the good of souls : — My God, let this be promoted* 
and thou sfealt have the endless praise !" 

Such was our union of soul and sentiment, that 
the secrets of our hearts were always open to each 
other. And it was no small consolation to me, 
that I had one upon earth, $o dear to God, who 
feoth knew, and approved of all the motives, from 
which I acted, in public, as well as in private life. 
Hence it was, that, from a conviction of her duty 
to God, she was ever ready to resist the unkind- 
ness of my opponents ; and warn me against the 
craftiness of pretended friends f and her penetra- 
tion herein, was astonishing ; so that I do not re- 
member, I ever relied upon her judgment, or act- 
ed by her advice, but I found it good. 

As to her literary abilities, they were rather out 
of the common way. She had a critical know- 
. ledge of the English tongue ; and he$*application 
to reading from her infancy, made her capable of 
conversing upon almost any subject; whether ef 
an historical, philosophical, or theological nature* 

With respect to the labours of her pen, she was, 
of all I ever knew among her sex, the most assi- 
duous. Writing seemed to be her peculiar talent ; 
and she took great delight therein, even from her 
childhood. And yet, she never, on that ac court, 
or, indeed, on any other, once neglected any p; rt 
of her domestic duty. She might be truly said to 
husband her time, in order to improve this talent. 
While I was absent an hour one morning, break- 
fasting with a friend : — (and although she was pre- 
vented by sickness from accompanying me) upon 
my return, she, with her usual smile, presented me 
with the following acrostic upon our marriage unions 

u J esus, the source supreme of our delight, 
A nd soul of all our joys, of all our might ; 
M ade us of twain inseparably one, 
E ver to love as He hath loy'd his e.w»* 



( 106 ) 

£ o may we love — as Jesus loves his Bride, 

A nd nothing shall his love from her divide ; 

N othing make twain the souls whom God hath join'd : 

D eath only leaves mortality behind. 

II eaven shall complete our union here begun, 

E ndless as vast eternal circles run. 

S ay, shall not then thy spirit join with mine, 

¥ o praise the wonders of the plan divine ? 

E ach vie with other, which shall swiftest move, 

K eady to strike afresh our harps above, 

A nd bless the Saviour, thro' whose love we love ? 

N o hand but thine, dear Jesus, mark'd the road, 
N o wisdom, love, or power, but that of God 
K esolv'd to bless — He to each other gave ; 
O h ! that through life— His utmost power to save : 
G race upon grace, our happy souls may prove j 
E nwrap'd, implung'd, and swallow'd up in love : 
R eady to clap the wing — His call obey, 
S oar up together — Love in endless day !" 

My deai^artner never considered herself a poet, 
and rarely attempted any thing of the kind : never* 
theless, these lines will shew, she was not entirely 
without this talent also. 

Some of her letters, with a few other productions 
in prose, have appeared in print : but these are very 
small compared with the numerous manuscripts 
she fcas left. Beside the vast quantity of letters 
which she wrote to her pious correspondents, she 
kept a diary of her life, from the time of her con- 
version to God, (which was in the seventeenth year 
of her age) till within a few days of her death.— 
So that I am favoured with, I believe, not less than 
three thousand quarto pages, all written by her own 
hand : and every page clearly discovers, that for 
the space of more than twenty years, she enjoyed 
constant fellowship and communion with a Triune 
God : and that she never forsook her first love ; — 
nor lost a sense of the divine favour, from the day 
of her conversion to the hour of her death ! — 
None but those who live in the sam^, spirit, can 



( 10? ) 

properly conceive the degree of intimacy which 
subsisted between her and her God. That ' the 
reader may be excited to press after the same en- 
joyment, I will here give him a small specimen 
of the almost uninterrupted language of her heart 
and pen. 

" I was so happy in the night that I had very lit- 
tle sleep, and awoke with these words— * u The tem- 
ple of indwelling God !"— My soul sunk into 
depths of nothingness, and enjoys closer union with 
him this day, than ever before. Every moment I 
feel such a weight of love, as almost overpowers the 
faculties of nature! I know I could bear no more 
and live; but, I often feel ready to cry, — O give 
me more and let me die !-— I long to be freed from 
earth! But help me, Lord, to wait resigned, willing 
to suffer, or do for thee. I need not lay this body 
down to feel thy presence ! Thou d\iBllest in my 
heart, and shalt for ever dwell ! Thou art my pre- 
sent heaven; my soul's eternal all. 

I went to bed last night so full of the love of 
God, I could not sleep for several hours ; but con- 
tinued in secret intercourse with my Saviour. At 
preaching this morning, I was so overcome with 
the love and presence, and exceeding glory tof my 
Triune God, that I sunk down, unable to support it! 
I was long before I could stand, or speak ! all this 
day I have been lost in depths of love unutterable. 
At the love feast, I was again overwhelmed with 
his immediate presence ! All around me is God ! 
u Within his circling arms I lie,— Beset on everv 
side!" 

Sometime after this, she writes, 

" As I came from meeting, I was so overpowered 
with the presence of God, that had not a friend sup- 
ported me, I could not have walked home ! I was 
lost in depths of love, and admitted, as it were, in- 
to the immediate presence of my Lord's glory ! 



( 108 ) 

Yet I cannot explain it, for I saw no manner of si- 
militude : and was humbled into the dust before 
him ! It is often impressed on my mind, the Lord is 
preparing for me some close trial. My whole soul 
cries out, Thy will be done ! Only let thy grace be 
sufficient for me. 

€C Unsustained by thee I fall, 
Send the help for which I call ; 
Weaker than a bruised reed, 
Help I every moment need !" 

Yes, — But, " I all thy power shall prove — Thy 
nature and thy name is love." 

"Blessed be God, I feel this day an increase of 
holy nearness to him, and fellowship with him. — 
At the prayer-meeting, my body was quite over- 
come for half an hour together! So did my Lord 
unfold his Wness of love to my ravished soul. I 
seemed as in the presence of his glory, confounded* 
and overwhelmed with a sense of his purity, and 
his justice, his grace and love ! and was constrain- 
ed to lie at his feet, in speechless adoration, and 
humblest praise ; while my body was covered with 
a cold sweat, and all around thought I was dying ? 
Well mightest thou say, O most adorable Jehovah^ 
44 No man can see my face and live !" For, when 
thou displayest only one faint ray ; one glimpse of 
thy glorious presence ; this frail tabernacle, is 
ready to crumble into dust before thee ! But, O ! 
I shall one day be capable of beholding thee face to 
face ! These eyes shall see thv glory ! and gaze 
for ever in extatic bliss ! Now, tnis corruptible clay 
cannot support itself under the weight of thy love ; 
but then it shall have put on incorruption, and be 
able to enjoy the full and eternal fruition of thy 
glory. 

" Mr. P. preached from, " The Grace of our 
Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the 



( 1» ) 

Fellowship of the Holy Ghost be with you." Before 
he had spoken ten minutes, I was filled with the 
Triune God, and sunk motionless under an ex- 
ceeding great weight of love ! My outward senses 
were locked up; but my spirit seemed surrounded 
with glory inexpressible ! I beheld Jesus, and was, 
as it were, overshadowed, and weighed down by 
the presence and exceeding glory-of the whole 
Peity ; I knew not where I was, or whether in the I 
body ! But all was unutterable bliss and glory ! Af- 
ter I came to myself, I continued full of the Divine 
presence, and a weight of love, such as enfeebled 
my whole frame. For many days and nights, I 
could eat little ; and had seldom more than one 
hour's sleep in twenty-four. 

Afterwards, I passed through scenes of close tri- 
al, (for which the Lord had thus been graciously 
preparing me) and, for a season, had not those pe- 
culiar manifestations ; but his grace was sufficient, 
and he brought me through waves, and clouds, and 
storms unhurt ! To him be glory for ever and ever. 55 

As the quotations in the preceding sermon are 
chiefly taken from my companion's later manu- 
scripts, I have transcribed these, from what she 
wrote at an earlier period ; which, when compa- 
a red together, shew, that as she began, so she finish- 
ed her happy course ! And, although, (as she ob- 
serves) her extatic joy was sometimes checked by 
various trials : yet, the same ground for rejoicing 
continued: viz. Faith, and a pure conscience. — 
And, beside the testimony of her own papers, I 
am witness, that many times I have seen her as 
happy in God as she could well be, and exist be- 
low ; so that I have been even afraid it would prove 
too much for the earthen vessel to bear ! 

She had a singular taste for reading frsgn her 
youth. In her unawakened state, her delight was 
in the perusal of entertaining novels and roman- 

10 



C no ) 

ces ; and when a well-written history fell in her 
way, she thought little of reading three or four 
hundred octavo pages in a day, till she got through 
it ; which she did with this advantage, that she 
generally made the substance of it her own. But 
since her acquaintance with vital religion, Rol- 
lings Ancient History was her chief favourite ; as 
she said she found most of God in it ; and because 
*it clearly illustrated the Prophesies, and confirmed 
the truth of Revelation. 

Rut, of late years, (though she still read differ- 
ent authors, at convenient opportunities) the Bible 
was her chief study, and in it she took uncommon 
delight. Our usual rule was, to read one chapter 
every morning, as a part of family worship ; but 
for some time before the Lord took my dearest 
partner, we agreed to read three : one out of the 
Old Testament in the morning ; one out of the 
Gospel at noon ; and one at night out of the Acts, 
or some of the Epistles. And, beside these, when 
unable to attend upon the public ministry of the 
word, she would call the servant to read by her, 
when even sickness and pain forbade her doing it 
herself! And, at intervals, when her strength would 
allow it, she often made remarks, and drew practi- 
cal inferences as they went on. 

In our course of reading to the family one morn- 
ing, about three weeks before the time of her deli- 
very, when we came at these words, in Gen. xxxv. 
17 — 20. I perceived a silent tear stealing down her 
cheek ! The passage referred to, reads thus ; 
u And it came to pass when she was in hard labour, 
that the midwife said unto her, fear not : thou shalt 
have this son also. And it came to pass as her soul 
was departing (for she died) that she called his 
name -Ben-oni ; but his father called him Benja- 
min. And Rschel died, and was buried in the way 
to Ephrath, which is Bethiehem. And Jacob set a 



( 111 ) 

pillar upon her grave : that is the pillar of Rachel's 
grave to this day." Some time after this, in my 
absence, she desired the maid to read to her again 
the same chapter, which considerably affected her. 
Yet I could not then learn that she had the least 
presentiment of her death, any more than what is 
common to women in similar circumstances. Rut, 
indeed it was a subject which neither of us could 
bear to enter into the spirit of! And therefore, if 
at any time it was impressed upon our minds, we 
endeavoured to put it away. 

When alone, she often read the Bible kneeling : 
on which occasions, we frequently find her break- 
ing forth in language of this sort ; " Reading the 
word of God in private this day was an unspeaka- 
ble blessing. O ! how precious are the promises. 
What a depth in these words ; u For all the promi- 
ses of God in him, are yea, and in him Amen, unto 
the glory of God." Yes, my soul, they are so to 
thee ! The Father deights to fulfil, and the Spirit 
to seal them on my heart. O that dear invaluable 
truth ! 

* Ready art thou to receive ; 
Readier is thy God to give." 

" The Lord poured his love abundantly into ,my 
soul while worshipping before him : and I was en- 
abed to renew my covenant, to be wholly and for 
ever his ! O how precious are his ways to my soul, 
suited to my weakness, worthy of a God ! I am 
nothing ! He is all. I momentarily live upon his 
smiles, and dwell under the shadow of his wings. 
I desire nothing but to please him ; to grow in 
inward conformity to his will ; and sink deeper in- 
to humble love ; to let the light of what his grace 
hath bestowed shine on all around, and to live and 
die proclaiming God is love" 



( 112 ) 

I think myself bound injustice to her amiable 
character, here to remark, that notwithstanding 
the tenderness of her affection for me, and the great 
sensibility of her feelings at my leaving her, (which 
I have often done when she was sick, and in pain) 
yet she never, to my knowledge, once attempted to 
prevent me from going on my Lord's errand. No : 
she knew the importance of the message too well 
to do that. As to her own usefulness in the church 
©f God, it will best appear w r hen the light of eter- 
nity discovers it ! In Mecclesfield, Dublin, Cork, 
and London, her name will be precious to her nu- 
merous and kind friends, (and especially to the 
children of her faith and prayers) while memory 
lasts ! and, I believe, numbers of these will bless 
God in an eternal world that they ever saw hei» 
face. Perhaps, some may be found even in Bir- 
mingham, where she closed her useful, happy life, 
to whom the name of Mrs. Rogers will long be 
precious ! 

And yet, notwithstanding her extraordinary zeal 
for God, and the salvation of souls ; her good 
sense, joined with that christian modesty, ever be- 
coming her sex, taught her as to the manner how 
to proceed in saving souls from death. The sphere 
in which she moved was ; — To visit the sick ; to 
teach her own sex in private ; and to pray, when- 
ever providentially called upon, whether in public 
or private. And to her might be applied that scrip- 
ture ; "Whosoever hath, (or, uses what he hath) to 
him shall be given, and he shall have more abun- 
dantly :" The divine unction attending her prayer, 
added to the manner in which she pleaded with 
God for instantaneous blessings, was very extraor- 
dinary, and generally felt by all present. A con- 
viction from God, that she ought to use this talent, 
constrained her, even to hold meetings in her 
neighbours' houses, for the purpose of praying 



I 113 ) 

with the distressed in soul ; and with as many 
more as chose to attend. 

During our sti\y in Dublin, she met weekly three 
women's classes, consisting of about thirty mem- 
bers each, in all ninety ; to whom she was called 
to speak individually, beside the many occasional 
conversations she had with others, about the state 
of their souls. At Cork she met two large 
classes ; mostly new members, to whom she had 
been useful ; and was indeed the chief instru- 
ment of bringing thenv, into the society ; as 
was also the case with very many of those she met 
in Dublin. 

In London, although called to the charge of Mr. 
"Wesley's family, in addition to her own, she at 
once filled the place of housekeeper at the City 
Road, (in which station she acquitted herself with 
honour, for two years) and, at the same time, had 
the charge of two large classes. Her third and 
last year in London was not less profitable to her 
friends ; many of whom followed her to Spitai- 
iields, where several new members were added to 
her classes ; and, I believe, most of those who at- 
tended that mean of grace with her, both in that 
and other places, found it good for their souls. — ■ 
While speaking to, and praying with them, many, 
very many, have been enabled to witness a clear 
sense of God's forgiving love ; and* others, at the 
same time have obtained salvation from inbred 
sin. A doctrine this, of which she had the clear- 
est views. And to its validity, her own conduct 
bore a constant testimony* 

" Through all her words the soul withiir, 
The honest, artless soul was seen, 

Ingenuous, pure and free : 
Candour and love were sweetly join'd, 
With easy nobleness of mind. 

And true simplicity." 
10 * 



( 114 ) 

And although she clearly perceived the need of a 
gradual work ; daily exhorting believers, to " grow 
in grace :" yet, she saw it her duty to bid those 
who felt the burden of indwelling sin, look for the 
total destruction of it, in one moment : ever press- 
ing them to believe for the blessing : to believe 
now: insisting, "If thou canst believe, all things 
are possible to him that believeth." And the Lord 
set his seal to the truths she enforced. Many 
through her means were instantaneously delivered 
from the remains of a carnal mind, so as to " Rejoice 
evermore, pray without ceasing, and in every thing 
give thanks." 

As great a matter as the attaining this blessing 
may appear, it is a yet greater thing to hold it fast. 
And as the following circumstance, had a most 
blessed effect on the mind of my dear companion, 
when she was, comparatively, a babe in this grace, 
greatly tending to establish her therein ; I will, for 
the sake of others, transcribe the following account, 
just as she wrote it at the time. And but few 
events did I ever hear her mention with greater 
pleasure than it! 

"Leeds, Aug. 24, 1781. That dear man of 
God, Mr. Fletcher, came with Miss Bosanquet, 
(now Mrs. Fletcher,) to dine at Mr. Smith's in 
Park Row ; and also to meet the select society. — 
After dinner I took an opportunity to beg he 
would explain an expression he once used to Miss 
Loxdale in a letter, viz. "That on all who are re- 
newed in love, God bestows the gift of prophecy." 
He called for the Bible; then read, and sweetly 
explained the 2d chapter of the Acts; observing, to 
prophesy in the sense he meant, was to magnify 
God, with the new heart of love, and the new 
tongue of praise, as they did, who on the day of 
Pentecost were filled with the Holy Ghost ! And 
he insisted that believers are now called to make 



( 115 ) 

the same confession ; seeing, we may all prove the 
same baptismal fire ; shewing, that the day of Pen- 
tecost was only the opening of the dispensation of 
the Holy Ghost ; the great promise of the Fa- 
ther ! And that the latter day glory, which he be- 
lieved was near at hand, should far exceed the first 
effusion of the spirit. And therefore, seeing they 
then bore witness to the grace of our Lord, so 
should we ; and like them, spread the flame of 
love ; Then, after singing a hymn, he cried — O to 
be filled with the Holy Ghost ; I want to be filled ; 

my friends, let us wrestle for a more abundant 
out-pouring of the Spirit : To me he said, Come, 
my sister, will you covenant with me this day, to 
pray for the fulness of the spirit ? Will you be a 
witness for Jesus ? I answered, with flowing tears, 
" In the strength of Jesus I will." He cried, Glo- 
ry, glory, glory be to God ; Lord strengthen thy 
handmaid to keep this covenant even unto death. 
He then said, My dear brethren and sisters, God 
is here ; I feel him in this place ; But I would hide 
my face in tl?e dust, because I have been ashamed 
to declare what he hath done for me. For many 
years I have grieved his spirit ; but I am deeply 
humbled : And he has again restored my soul. 
Last Wednesday evening he spoke to me by these 
words, " Reckon yourselves therefore to be dead 
indeed unto sin, but alive unto God, through Jer 
sus Christ our Lord." I obeyed the voice of God ; 

1 now obey it, and tell you all, to the praise of 
his love, "I am freed from sin!" Yes, I re- 
joice to declare it, and to bear witness to the glory 
of his grace, that I am dead unto sin, and alive 
unto God, through Jesus Christ, who is my Lord 
and King. I received this blessing four or five 
times before ; but I lost it by not observing the or- 
der of God ; who has told us, with the heart man 
belie veth unto righteousness, and with the mouth 



( m ) 

confession is made unto salvation.'* But the ene- 
my offered his bait under various colours, to keep 
me from a public declaration of what my Lord 
had wrought. 

"When I first received this grace, Satan bid mi 
•wait a while, till I saw more of the fruits : I resol- 
ved to do so, but I soon began to doubt of the wit- 
ness, w r hich, before, I had felt in my heart ; and 
was in a little time sensible I had lost both. A se- 
cond time, after receiving this salvation, (with 
shame I confess it) I was kept from being a wit- 
ness for my Lord, by the suggestion, " Thou art a 
public character : the eyes of all are upon thee ; 
and if, as before, by any means thou lose the bless- 
ing, it will be a dishonour to the doctrine of heart- 
holiness," &c. I held my peace, and again forfeit- 
ed the gift of God ! At another time I was pre- 
vailed upon to hide it by reasoning, " How few* 
even of the children of God, will receive this tes- 
timony ; many of them supposing every trans- 
gression of the Adamic law is sin : and therefore, 
if I profess myself to be free from sin, all these will 
give my profession the lie : because I am not free,, 
in their sense : I am not free from ignorance, mis- 
takes, and various infirmities : I will therefore en- 
joy what God has wrought in me, but I will not 
stay, I r am perfect in love. Alas ! I soon found 
again, " He that hideth his Lord's talent and im- 
proveth it not, from that unprofitable servant shall 
be taken away even that he hath." 

" Now, my brethren, you see my folly ! I have 
confessed it iu your presence, and now I resolve 
before you all, to confess my master ; 1 will con- 
fers him to all the world : And I declare unto you, 
in the presence of God, the holy Trinity, I am 
now, "dead indeed unto sin." I do not say, U I 
am crucified with Christ ;" because some of our 
well-meaning brethren say, By this can only be 



i m ) 

meant, a gradual dying : but I profess unto you, I 
am dead unto sin, and alive unto God ! And re- 
member all this is " Through Jesus Christ our 
Lord," He is my Prophet, Priest, and King: 
My indwelling holiness ; My all in all. I wait 
for the fulfilment of that prayer, u That they all 
may be one : as thou Father art in me, and I in 
thee, that they also may be one in us ; and that 
they be one, even as we are one." O for that pure 
baptismal flame ! O for the fulness of the dispen- 
sation of the Holy Ghost ! Pray ; pray — pray for 
this : This shall make us all of one heart, and of 
©ne soul : Pray for gifts ; for the gift of utterance : 
and confess your royal Master. A man without 
gifts is like the king in disguise : He appears as a 
subject only. You are Kings and Priests unto 
God : Put on, therefore, your robes, and wear on 
your garments, " Holiness to the Lord" 

A few days after this, I heard Mr. Fletcher 
preach from the same subject, which greatly en- 
couraged and strengthened me. Inviting all who 
felt their need of full redemption, to believe now 
for this great salvation, he observed, u As when you 
reckon with your creditor, or with your host ; and, 
as when you have paid all, you reckon yourselves 
free ; so now reckon with God. Jesus hath paid 
all ; and he hath paid for thee : Hath purchased 
thy pardon and holiness. Therefore, it is now 
God's command, " Reckon thyself dead unto sin f* 
and thou art alive unto God from this hour ! O be- 
gin, begin to reckon now ; fear not, believe, be- 
lieve, believe ; and continue to believe every mo- 
ment ; so shalt thou continue free : for it is retain- 
ed, as it is received by faith alone. And, whoso- 
ever thou art that perseveringly believest, it will 
be as a fire in thy bosom, and constrain thee to 
confess with thy mouth thy Lord and King Jesus ; 



( 118 ) 

and in spreading the sacred flame of love, thotl 
shalt still be saved to the uttermost." 

He also dwelt largely on those words, " Where 
sin abounded, grace did much more abound." He 
asked, how did sin abound ? Had it not overspread 
your whole soul ? Were not all your passions, tem- 
pers, propensities, and affections, inordinate and 
evil ? Did not pride, anger, self-will, and unbelief, 
all reign in you ? And when the spirit of God 
strove with you, did you not repel all his convic- 
tions, and put him far from you ? Well, my bre- 
thren, " Ye were thenXhe servants of sin, and 
were free from righteousness ; but now being made 
free from sin, ye become servants to God :" and 
holiness shall over spread your whole soul ; so that 
all your tempers and passions shall be henceforth 
regulated and governed by him who now sitteth up- 
on the throne of your heart,- making all things 
new. They shall therefore all be holy. And as 
you once resisted the Holy Spirit, so now you shall 
have power as easily to resist all the subtle frauds 
or fierce attacks of satan : yea, his suggestions to 
evil shall be like a ball thrown against a wall of 
brass. It shall rebound back again : and you shall 
know what that meaneth, "The prince of this 
world cometh, and hath nothing in me." 

He then, with lifted hands, cried, Who will thus 
be saved ? Who will believe the report ? You are 
only in an improper sense called believers, who re- 
ject this. Who is a believer i one that believes a 
few things, which his God has spoken ? Nay, but one 
who believes all that ever proceeded even out of his 
mcuth. Here then is the word of the Lord ; " As 
sin abounded, grace shall much more abound !" 
As no good thing was in you by nature, so now no 
evil thing shall remain. Do you believe this ? or 
are you a half believer only ? Come, Jesus is of- 



( 119 ) 

fered to thee as a perfect Saviour; take him, and 
he will make thee a perfect saint. O ye half be- 
lievers, will you still plead for the murderers of 
£our Lord ? Which of these will you hide as a 
serpent in your bosom ? Shall it be anger, pride 
self-will, or accursed unbelief? O be no longer 
befooled : bring these enemies to thy Lord, and 
let him slay them." 

Some days after this, being in Mr. Fletcher's 
company, he took me by my hand, and said, u Glo- 
ry be to God for you, my sister, still bear a noble 
testimony for your Lord. Do you repent your 
- confession of his salvation :" I answered, " Blessed 
be God, I do not." At going away, he again took - 
me by my hand, spying, with eyes and heart lifted 
up, " Bless her, Heavenly Power !" It seemed as 
if an instant answer was given, and a beam of 
glory let down ! I was filled with deep humility 
and love ; yea, my whole soul overflowed with un- 
utterable sweetness." A 

As my beloved companion enjoyed that purity 
of heart, mentioned by our Lord, in Matt. v. 8. 
so did she see God in all things ! She greatly de- 
lighted in secret retirement, and private intercourse 
hvithhim. She had strong confidence in a particu- 
lar Providence presidingover all that respected her : 
and as she believed that " the very hairs of our 
head are numbered, and that a sparrow cannot fall 
to the ground without our heavenly Father," so 
was she led to ask of God various things which 
many professors of religion seldom think of pray- 
ing for. And it is remarkable how many are the 
instances which she has recorded as direct answers 
to her prayers. I will here transcribe two or three. 

" June 29, 1T82. This day the Lord instanta- 
neously removed a rapid mortification in my dear 
mother's leg, in answer to prayer. The doctor ha- 
ving given his opinion, that in a few hours it would 



( 120 ) 

be fatal ; I flew to my Almighty refuge, and felt I 
had power with God, through faith in that pro- 
mise : " The prayer of faith shall save the sick." 
And, when in half an hour I looked again at the 
wound, all the bad symptoms were gone ; and the 
same doctor, standing astonished, said, no danger 
now appeared. I could not forbear weeping aloud 
for joy and gratitude, praising the God of my life." 

" Nov. 29, 1 785. A lady of genteel appearance, 
whom I had not seen before, requested to speak 
with me. I found she had come secretly to hear 
preaching for some months, and was under deep 
awakenings. — her husband is a man of fortune, 
but a professed infidel ; believes in neither God, 
devil, heaven, nor hell ; mocks at the scriptures, 
especially the New Testament ; and will neither 
attend any place of worship himself, nor suffer her 
to do so. And what added to her affliction, his 
bad state of health determined him to go to live 
in France, She cried, " What will become of me 
there ? No means of grace ; no friend to fly to ; 
in a country of idolaters abroad, and infidels at 
home ; my sinful heart, and the temptation of sa- 
tan to struggle with : I shall lose all my good de- 
sires, and my poor soul will be ruined !" 

I asked, is there no way to prevent this ? She 
answered, No. I said but the Lord can prevent it ; 
and if not for his glory, he will. u Ha!" said she, 
a I fear nothing can prevent it; the carriage is pre- 
paring, and the time is fixed." I replied, only put 
the whole into the Lord's hand, and you are safe. 
Trust in God, and make it a matter of prayer ; 
and if the journey be not for your good, though it 
come to the last hour, he will prevent it. Nay if 
you should even set out, He can, by a thousand 
means, turn you back ; and he will. Did he not 
suffer the three Hebrew children to be cast into the 
furnace ? Yet the fire had no power to consume. 



t Mi* ) 

©aniel was cast into the den ; but the God you are 
called to trust, shut the lion's jaws. St. John was 
put into the cauldron of boiling oil ; yet he received 
no harm. This God, who is the same yesterday, 
to-day, and for ever, will prevent this journey, 
if you trust in him : or, he will make it a blessing 
to your soul. 1 then went to prayer, and at parting 
bid her pray much for her husband, and believe 
44 All things are possible with God." 

Some time after she called on me, and tpld me 
she had taken my advice and prayed for her hus- 
band, who, a few nights ago, had a remarkable 
dream, which much affected and astonished him« 
He thought he was giving orders to his coachma- 
ker about his new carriage ; and more especially 
about one of the wheels : when the man turned 
about and sai<J> in a very solemn manner, a Sir, 
you need not trouble yourself about that wheel, 
for the Lord Jesus Christ has the whole manage- 
ment of it." He was filled with surprise, and 
awoke. I again commended her to God in prayer, 
and she returned home not a little comforted. 

A few days afterwards, a note was sent to re- 
quest public thanks to Almighty God for his pow- 
er and love manifested in behalf of a person whose 
name is unknown. The messenger, calling on me 
at the same time, said, " Thank God, this journey 
is prevented at last !" I asked, but how was this 
brought to pass ? She said, ** only two days ago, all- 
was fixed for the journey : and on this day, they 
were to set off. But the Lord afflicted the physi- 
cian who advised them to go. And Mr. 

finding himself very poorly, called in another doc- 
tor, who assured him he could not undergo the 
journey, and that France is not a proper place for 
his constitution. And therefore all thoughts of 
going is at an end." 

II 



( 122 ) 

O how my soul was filled with wonder, love, and 
praise ! Who that considers the above will not sec 
omnipotence, love, and faithfulness exerted in 
answer to prayer? Who would not wish, for such 
a friend ? Who would not love, serve, and confide 
in such a God ? Who would not own, " He hear- 
eth prayer, and to him should all flesh come!" 
And how wonderful is such a dream of the Lord 
Jesus Christ by a man of such principles J Surely 
it was all of God, and to him alone is due all the 
glory. 

March 5, 1790. In private, I had peculiar li- 
berty in praying for my dear husband ; that he 
might experience all the depths of Jesus's love 
more abundantly than ever, and be the happy 
means of leading me also into farther degrees of 
inward salvation ; that our union might ever tend 
to a yet closer union with our God., and all our 
outward mercies lead to this. While I prayed, I 
felt assured my Lord was well pleased, and would 
send an answer to my largest desires. Next morn- 
ing Mr. Jtogers awoke very happy, having had a 
precious view of the deep things of God : he 
dreamed that he felt the clear witness of sanctifica- 
tion, and his soul seemed full of gratitude and 
love. In taking a ride out together, and laying 
open our whole hearts to each other, as we fre- 
quently did, I found my soul unspeakably happy ; 
while we resolved to be more spiritual, more de- 
voted to God, and more zealous in saving souls 
than ever. This was made a great blessing to me; 
and doubly so, as I believed it an answer to my 
prayer. 

The last instance I shall cite took place only a 
little before her death. "June 10, 1794, I had a 
.peculiar season in wrestling prayer with my God 
this night, on account of my dear little Mary. The 



( 123 ) 

great weakness of her limbs for three months past, 
and her seeming total inability to walk, has caused 
much pain to my dear husband, as well as myself, 
It appeared to me, I had used every possible means 
in vain. But this night I had power to cry unto 
my God, and tell him, " Thou art the same yes- 
terday, to-day, and for ever : Thou art my God J" 
Thou hast said, " Call upon me in the day of trou- 
ble, and I will hear thee." Thou hast healed crip- 
ples, made the lame to walk, yea, raised even the 
dead, in answer to praying faith ! Lord, hear me 
now : stoop to my request : let the child's feet and 
ancle-bones receive strength : give power to walk, 
and let me soon know thou hast heard my prayer: and 
I had power to believe it should be done ; and my 
soul was filled with the divine presence. Thurs- 
day the 12th. I already see an answer to my pray- 
er, in the child. She is greatly strengthened in 
her limbs. Kow good, how faithful, how conde- 
scending is the Lord ! We may— I may, like A- 
braham, like Moses, like Elijah, ask and obtain. 

Such were the habits of intimacy, which my dear 
partner enjoyed with her beloved Saviour, that 
even when her outward senses were locked up bv 
sleep, he would frequently speak to her heart ; and 
in dreams and visions of the night, appeared to 
strengthen her in times of trial ; warn her of dan- 
ger ; or prepare her for trouble before it came ! 
One instance out of many, I will here mention. — 
It happened about four years after our marriage, 
and was attended with much comfort to her mind 
ever after, when she recurred to it. 

" Having been exercised with an uncommon 
sense of various short-comings, and daily infirmi- 
ties, for some days past, I awoke this morning lost, 
overwhelmed, and swallowed up in love, joy, and 
praise : occasioned by the following dream. I 
thought I was in an elegant house, and was desired 



( 124 ) 

by one to go into that room, (pointing the way) 
and I should see the late Mrs. Rogers. I wonder- 
ed, but obeyed : I thought I entered the room, 
which was hung all round with clean white linen : 
and upon a bed I saw the beautiful corpse of my 
dear departed sister and friend ! I looked, and lo- 
ved the precious remains ; when, to my great asto- 
nishment, her eyes opened ! She smiled on me, and 
raised herself up. I exclaimed, in a rapture of 
joyful surprise, is it possible ! has the Lord per- 
mitted you to revive, so. as to speak to me ? She 
replied with unutterable sweetness, " All things, 
my dear, are possible with God. He has permit* 
ted it for your comfort."' O ! said I, what would 
j have often given, to converse one hour with you, 
since you were taken ? She said, "There was no 
ijeed my dear, God has been with you. I answer- 
ed yes, he has; but O ! tell me, have I acted my 
part aright in your place ? Does God in this ap ) 
prove of me ? She smiled again, and said, " He 
does ; and in all things he is well pleased ; and 
he will yet strengthen and bless you to the end ! 
He loves you, and he will save you in every time 
of trouble, especially in your approaching trial. — 
You have nothing to fear ; for you will be happy 
in life, in death, and for ever. You are dear to 
God; and it is to comfort you he permits me to 
appear and tell you this." 

This was but a few weeks before my Hester was 
born. And what I felt was unutterable indeed: 
Love unspeakable and ravishing delight filled my 
whole soul ; I was quite overpowered : I thought 
in my dream she said much more : but this is all I 
I can distinctly recollect. And it so overcame me 
with transport that I awoke : but my body was 
bathed in sweat, and my soul, as in the dream, filled 
with God, with heaven, and with unspeakable bliss ; 
so that I could not refrain awaking my dear hus 



( 125 ) 

band to tell him : and I could sleep no more, but 
continued praising God until the morning. The 
more I consider his condescending goodness here- 
in, the more I am lost in love, self-abasement, and 
speechless gratitude." 

This dream was made a great blessing to us both : 
and it is attended with no small consolation to me, 
especially under my present circumstances, to con- 
ceive that the inhabitants of heaven know well the 
transactions of earth ! And (to waive the almost 
innumerable and well authenticated instances of re- 
cent date) that they do so, is beyond a doubt ; or, 
how could they be said to " Rejoice over every 
sinner that repenteth ?" And when Moses and Eli- 
jah conversed with our Lord, it w T as on the bitter 
cup he was to drink in Jerusalem ; of consequence, 
they remembered that place, as well as those pro- 
phecies which were to be fulfilled upon that occa- 
sion. And if the pious poor retain so lively a sen- 
sation in the other world, of the favours conferred 
on them in this, as to wait for the arrival of their 
kind benefactors, in order to " receive them into 
everlasting habitations :" Luke xvi. 11 — What kind 
offices may we not expect from those, who, for ma- 
ny years, were our faithful companions in the king- 
dom and patience of Jesus ? " Are they not all (as 
well as the angels) ministering spirits, sent forth to 
minister for them who shall be heirs of salvation ?" 
And what angel (except the angel of the Covenant, 
who took upon him our nature, and was touched 
with a feeling of our infirmities) is so well quali- 
fied for this office, and guardianship as they ? And 
it is even probable a part of their heaven consists 
in the pleasure of attending those who are yet pro- 
bationers in this world of woe ! especially when 
they see us attentive to the will of Him that sent 
them* 

It * 



( 126 > 

Hard as it was to part, my dear companion 
would have found it harder still, but for the same 
persuasion, which constantly rested with her, as 
appears from her own words ; saying, "I feel my- 
self very poorly in body, and several symptoms 
threaten my dissolution. But my soul is kept in 
perfect peace, I know u For me to live is Christ, 
and to die is gain." - It seems as if the Lord had 
been of late preparing me for himself. And yet, 
when I think of leaving the dearest of earthly 
comforts, it is like rending of self from self : 
of nature from nature : and of flesh from the bone f 
Nevertheless, when I reflect, the separation is only 
for a moment, compared with eternity ! and, that 
• death itself cannot disunite our spirits ; it greatly 
helps me to say, Lord, not as I will, but as thou 
wilt." 

It seems easy to learn from this and other 
touches in the preceding pages ; that, be our attain- 
ments in piety what they will, they have not the 
least tendency to dissolve the endearing ties of na- 
tural affection : On the contrary, that religion, by 
refining, tends to increase both the fervour and con- 
stancy of our love. But what are all other ties, of 
which the human heart is capable, compared with 
that holy and spiritual union, ever subsisting be- 
tween those, whom God, in every sense hath made 
one P 

I am conscious, the tenderest of maternal ties 
possessed the heart of my dearest companion ; yet 
these, when it came to the point, were dissolved 
with comparative ease ! As were also, all her other 
friendly attachments—with this one only exception, 
of Myself/ 



" Not even in death, her friendship dies * 
With grateful pity and surprise 

I ask, how can it he ? 
Loosen'd from all she leaves behind* 
Yet still— she cleaves to me. 






C 127 ) 

Bn me she rests her dying- head, 
And catching*, grasps a broken reed;, 

But will not let me part ; 
Till Jesus visits her again, 
By nobler love dissolves the chain, 

And frees her struggling heart." 

God alone can tell what I felt in that dread mo- 
ment, when her Lord gave the signal for dismis- 
sion, and I was called to return the last parting 
kiss! For some time 1 could only breathe, as it 
were, in silent accents, " O ! my God, let my lat- 
ter end be like hers : Come, O come quickly, and 
prepare me to follow her. It is still the language 
of my bleeding heart — 

" O let me on her image dwell, 
The soul transporting spectacle, 

On whom even angels gaze 1 
A pious saint matur'd for God, 
And shaking off' her earthly clod 

To see his open face. 

* I see the generous friend sincere ? 
Her voice still vibrates in my ear, 

The voice of truth and love ! 
It calls me to put off my clay, 
It bids me soar with her away 

To fairer worlds above ? 

Well ; Thank God, a moment cannot always last F 
44 And, He who set my partner free, shall quickly 
send for you and me ! Only et us take care that 
our loins are girt, and our lights burning, as bright 
as her's, when our Lord cometh, and all shall be 
well ! All who knew my valuable companion, will 
allow that these pages contain but a small part of 
what might be said upon so every way amiable a 
character. But there is a day coining, when her 
real value shall be made manifest ! 

The honour of being united to such-a woman, 
nl s my soul with unfeigned gratitude before God ! 
Ajnd although at present I am left to feel my loss, I 



( 128 ) 

a*n supported from above in a manner that exceeds 
all description ! The heart-felt presence of God, 
which, from the time he took my all of earthly trea- 
sure, I have not wanted, for one moment, more 
than compensates for the absence of all created 
good ! If I can suppose her absent, who, under 
God, was the centre of all earthly treasure to me ? 
And now, unto Him who had a prior right, I freely 
resign this all, because his right is infinitely supe- 
rior to mine I In the act of offering a sacrifice so 
pleasing to my God, I feel that our union in him 
is of eternal duration : and that as sure as my be- 
loved partner now sleeps in Jesus, even so surely 
will God bring her with him, and present her to me 
again ; " For the Lord Jesus himself shall descend 
from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the 
archangel, and with the trump of God : and then 
we shall be caught up together in the clouds, to 
meet the Lord in the air ; and so shall we ever be 
with the Lord." Thus comforted, and knowing 
the time is short, I shall here take leave of my be- 
loved wife,, leaving her to rest in his arms ! where, 

94 Supremely bless'd with perfect peace 
She loves me now without excess, 

Or passionate alloy ; 
Serene she waits my spirit's flight, 
To range with her's the plains of light r 

And climb the mount of joy. 

Hepos'd in those Elysian seats, 
Where Jonathan his David meets 

Our souls shall soon embrace ; 
The utmost power of friendship prove,, 
Commenc'd on earth, matur'd above, 

In extacies of praise. 

How shall we sing and triumph there* 
Our dangers and escapes compare 

Our days of flesh and woe ; 
How comprehend the plan divine,*! 
And sweetly in his praises join, 

Through whom we met bele^. 









( 129 ) 

Through whom in Paradise we meet* 
&reat Author of our joy complete, 

The Jesus we proclaim ; 
While all the saints stand list'ning round, 
And all the realms of bliss resound 

Salvation to the Lamb. 

The Lamb has brought us through the fire ? 
The Lamb shall raise our raptures higher, 

When all from earth are driven ; 
Our glorious Head shall cleave the skies, 
And bid his church triumphant rise 

From Paradise to Heaven 

JAMES ROGERS. 

Birmingham^ March 29, 1795. 



A Supplement to the Appendix ; consisti?ig of Mis- 
cellaneous Extracts from the J menials of Mrs* 
Hester Ann Rogers. 

Dublin, Nov. 7, 1 786. This day my soul hath 
felt much of the power of God, and a sweet so- 
lemnity which I can but faintly describe. In call- 
ing to visit a friend who is dangerously ill of a 
pleurisy, I was led to bring very near the time when 
I shall bid adieu to all beneath the sun. I saw it 
an awful thing to die : yet rejoiced to feel the sting 
of death entirely gone; and a witness that if I 
was called like her to gasp for another and another 
breath, or to offer up my spirit ; it would surely be 
into the arms of Jesus. But how was the impor- 
tance of improving my present mercies impressed 
on my mind— The necessity of now employing 
every talent for God. In a state like hers, I 
should be very unfit to call upon God even for my 
own soul : much less would it be in my power to 
persuade, warn, reprove, or exhort others. My 
God has at present entrusted me with precious 
time and opportunities. O let me improve, and 



( 130 ) 

BOt betray my trust — But only for thy glory live : 
and to thy glory die. 

In the evening my dear husband preached with 
peculiar freedom, from "All are yours." In the 
course of his. sermon, he went through " Paul, or 
Apollos, or Cephas, or the World, or Life, or 
Death," &c. And in the last instance observed, 
a We are immortal till our work is done : till then, 
Men and Devils combined, cannot kill." He like- 
wise mentioned that memorable saying of King 
William, w r ho, at the battle of the Boyne, when in 
the most imminent danger^ exclaimed, (to encou- 
rage his men) " Every bullet hath its billet !" 
Shewing our life is in the hand of God alone ; 
when, on a sudden, the congregation was all alarm- 
ed by a man with a large loaded pistol being seized 
at the door. I was in the gallery, and therefore 
ignorant of what caused the uproar ; and my em- 
ployment was to quiet the women, who were all for 
rushing down stairs, many of them ready to fall 
into fits. I had no fear whatever ; the sermon had 
been a blessing to my soul, and I was kept in per < 
feet peace. When I came into the yard and heard 
the particulars, I found this villain came into the 
preaching-house, and sat opposite the pulpit for half 
an hour, while Mr. R. was preaching ; then, on 
receiving a watchword from his comrades, went 
out. And our maid, who, at the same time came 
into the yard, unperceived in the dark, heard them 
plotting together, and resolving to fire the pistol at 
Mr. Rogers, and make off. Another friend, who 
was nearer than they imagined, also heard them 
muttering and cursing, one of them bidding him 
with the pistol " aim at the cushion." In that mo- 
ment the door-keeper, and two other friends, desi- 
red them to quit the yard, when this fellow rushed 
towards the door with violence, and attempted to 
inock down brother Ransford with the but end of 



( 131 ) 

"his large pistol : but he avoided the blow, and only 
received a slight hurt on the side of his head. — 
The ruffian was then seized by a number of our 
friends, and taken to the Watchhouse. When ex- 
amined, he denied he had any pistol, and cursed Mr. 
Rogers, and all the Methodists bitterly. He was 
ordered to Newgate, and there confined. The con- 
stable came next morning and told us, Sir Roger 
Smith (Justice of the Peace) had examined the 
pistol, and found it loaded with six leaden balls, 
which he shewed me : they were very ragged and 
sharp ; and a large charge of the best gunpowder. 

All these things put together, I was now much 
more affected than before : as it appeared plain 
that a deep-laid plot had been concerted ; and 
every reason to believe the intention was to have 
shot my dear husband while he was preaching; 
The wonderful prevention filled me with awful 
gratitude and humble praise. While Mr. R. and 
several friends went to Newgate to interrogate the 
ruffian, I spent a precious hour of intercourse with 
my God. And in sweetly committing to him the 
whole affair, I had some liberty to intercede for the 
poor wretch, but more in praying for my dear 
partner : when the Lord graciously applied these 
words, — " Not an hair of his head shall perish ; 
wherefore, in patience possess ye your souls." I 
blessed him for the promise and the precept, and 
svas filled with .divine consolation. 

The night after this happened, Mr. Peacock 
preached with great liberty from, " Fear not them 
which kill the body, and after that have no more 
that they can do." His word was a blessing to 
me and many ; especially his quoting that text, 
u Touch not mine anointed, and do my prophets 
no harm." Two persons returned thanks this even- 
ing : one for pardon ; the other for being renewed 
in love ; both of them under the sermon last night. 



(132 ) 

Well may satan rage at a work like this, now going 
forward in this city : As several Roman Catholics 
have been lately awakened, and joined to the soci- 
ety ; and a very rich man, of great note among the 
priests, has become a constant hearer at our chapel ; 
it is conjectured where tills horrid plot most likely 
originated. And the more clearly doth this appear 
from the number of friends who visited this vil- 
lain while in prison ; and by whose means his es- 
cape was effected before he was brought to trial. 

Cork) August 20, 1789. I found that text much 
blessed to me this morning ; Isa. lx. 8. " Who are 
those that fly as a cloud, and as doves to their 
windows V y How heavy is the dense cloud— yet 
hangs in air without any visible hand to uphold it ! 
Such am I ; loaded with ten thousand infirmities, 
various temptations from satan, and calumnies 
from malicious men, under which I must sink ! 
Yea, and that even after my soul has been attract- 
ed from the earth, by the sun of righteousness ; 
was it not that I am held up like a cloud in air, by 
the mighty power of God. I also feel as one of 
those silly helpless doves, and as such, I fly to hide 
in my Saviour's breast !*— There my Lord I would 
for ever dwell. u How blest are they who still 
abide, close shelter'd in thy bleeding side." 

We had a good season at family prayer; after 
which we went upon the water with some friends, 
and sailing down to Cove, we went on board of 
Mr. Sholdham's new and beautiful yacht. This 
vessel is built, it seems, for pleasure ; and he in- 
tends to sail in it round the known world. Every 
thing in it is elegant, even to extravagance ; much 
plate, superb furniture in the cabin, and a French 
cook on board. But can this make the owner hap- 
py ? Alas I No ; it cannot be, unless his soul were 
first adorned with Christ, and made meet for God. 
In the evening, Mr. Rogers preached in Cove, to a 



( 133 ) 

Jarge company of attentive hearers, from "Ye 
must be born again." The room was also well fill- 
ed the next evening ; and the day after we returned 
home in an open boat. We had an high wind, and 
heavy showers of rain the whole passage, and the 
tide meeting the w T ind ; when we came to Lough 
Mahon, (a very dangerous place) it was rough in- 
deed. But the Lord sweetly prepared me for it. 
That verse was so powerfully impressed on my 
mind, that I could not forbear repeating it :— 

" O'er the raging" billows sailing, 
With my all-protecting guide ; 
By thy mercy never failing, 
I shall all the storms outride ! 
Join'd to thee by closest union, 
And to my companion dear ; 
By this happy sweet communion, 
Thou wilt banish every fear." 

Just then came on a squall of wind, and the 
swell so very high, that all the passengers shrieked 
aloud, and some now cried to God for mercy ! 
Even the boatmen turned pale ; and our friends 
clasped round us in a most affecting manner. Yet, 
though I was sensible of our danger, my soul was 
kept from fear. I recollected Peter on the waves, 
and said, u Lord, what are these w T hen in the hol- 
low of thy hand ? I commit my all to thee J Pre- 
serve me from fear, and help me to praise thee." 
My soul was indeed filled with his goodness. The 
boatmen, sensible of the danger, turned out of the 
channel into shallow water, and then the swell was 
not so great. But we were still in jeopardy, ex- 
pecting every moment to be stranded in the mud ; 
and if so, all must have perished, as we were near 
a mile from shore : But the Lord preserved us 
from all evil : and we landed safe in Cork before 
night came on. O may I never forget his love to,, 
me this day ! How fatal might have been the con- 

12 



( 134 ) 

sequences in my present situation, had fear been 
permitted to take place : Instead of which, I was. 
kept composed and happy : and returned in better 
health than when I went, " Praise the Lord, O my 
soul, and all that i« within me, bless his holy 
name." 

Extract of a letter, received January 14, 1789, 

" The Rev. Mr. E calling to visit one of his 

hearers, saw a young lady in the parlour, who had 
come for the use of the water on account of her 
healtho Observing her unusually pensive, Mr. E. 
took the liberty to inquire the reason. She an- 
swered, " Sir, I will think no more of it— it was 
only a dream : and I will not be so childish as to be 
alarmed at a dream ! But, Sir, (said she) I will tell 
you my dream, and then I will think of it no more." 
She then repeated as follows : " I dreamed I was 
at the ball, where I intended to go to-night. Soon 
after I was in the room I was taken very ill, and 
they gave me a smelling-bottle, and then I was 
brought home into this room : I was put into 
that elbow-chair, (pointing to it) and fainted and 
died ! I then thought I was carried to a place where 
there were angels, and holy people in abundance, 
singing hymns arid praises to God :— That I found 
myself very unhappy there, and desired to go 
from thence. My conductor said, if I did, I should 
ndver come there again. He then violently whirl- 
ed me about, and I fell down, down, down — through 
blackness, and flames, and sulphur ; the dread of 
which awoke me !" 

The minister endeavoured by every possible ar- 
gument to dissuade the young lady from going to 
the ball that night : But in vain : S he answered, " I 
will go. I will not be so foolish as to miad a 
dream !" She did go. And soon after she came 
into the ball-room she was taken ill : and [as >.he 
dreamed] a smelling-bottle was given her. She 



I ( 135 ) 

wa3 carried home into the room, and put- into that 
v *very elbow-chair, represented in the dream — she 
fainted — and died ! 

Awful warning! and awful event ! O that it may 
deeply penetrate the hearts of all who are u Lovers 
of pleasures, more than lovers of God." She was 
warned by a dream ; but such arc now warned by a 
reality, even her fate ! She is gone,gone into a world 
of Spirits — into eternity. But was she unhappy i 
Very unhappy in the presence of a Holy God, 
and his holy w r orshippers ? O how does this corres- 
pond with that solemn declaration from the lips 
of Truth, " Without holiness no man shall see the 
Lord." O how unmeet is one who liveth in these 
delusive pleasures on earth, for the spiritual enjoy- 
ment of God in glory ! Which is the inheritance 
and the bliss of the saints in light. Reader, ask 
thy own heart ! Couldst thou be more happy than 
she in the eternal employ of those who surround 
the throne, and sing the song of Moses and the 
Lamb ? Be assured thou couldst not, except on 
earth thou hast learnt their song — u Unto Him that 
loved us, and washed us from our sins in his own 
blood, and hath made us kings and priests unto 
God, and his Father ; to him be glory and domini- 
on for ever and ever." — Thou must be bom again. 

What a striking contrast between the young per- 
son alluded to above, and an intimate friend of 
mine in the city of Cork, who died near about that 
time. Her name was Mary Mahony. When very 
young, her carnal relations forced her to marry a 
man for whom she had no affection. He proved a 
very wicked and bad husband : but the God of 
wisdom and love, even out of this evil, brought 
forth good. The trials she daily endured, led her 
to seek rest and happiness in the source of bliss ! 
Beginning frequently, though privately, to hear 
the Methodists, her mind was drawn out in strong 



136 ) 






desires after God. But her husband often fol- 
lowed her, and dragged her out of the preaching- 
house by the hair of her head. After some time, 
he left her entirely, and she saw him no more. She 
joined bur society about eight years ago, and soon 
found peace with God, which she never lost : and 
about three years after, obtained also a clear witness 
that her soul was cleansed from all sin. In this 
salvation she walked irreprovably to the day of 
her death. And though at some seasons she was 
buffeted with various temptations, yet she always 
emerged out of them more fully purified. She 
was called outwardly to follow her heavenly Lord 
in the way of the cross : but she joyfully took it 
up, and bore it with the meekness of her lamb-like 
Saviour ! Like him her language was, " Not as I 
will, but as thou wilt." 

Her love to Jesus, and her zeal for the glory of 
God, and for promoting the good of precious souls., 
was very peculiar. This induced Mr. Sogers to 
request her to take the charge of a class of young 
women : over whom she watched faithfully and 
diligently with tears, fastings, and much prayer.— 
In her last sickness (thought to be a rheumatic fe- 
ver) her agony of pain in every limb was extreme : 
But she told me and others, u "When these hands 
and feet are tortured with pain ; yea, such anguish 
as is almost insupportable; I look to my precious 
Saviour, and see by faith his dear hands and feet 
pierced, and bleeding, and nailed to the accursed 
tree for my sins! and the view of that mangled 
body and precious head torn with thorns; and that 
precious blood streaming for my soul, sweetens all 
my pain ; and makes me willing to bear all he 
pleases to inflict." After she had thus suffered for 
nine days, and constantly witnessed to all, the good- 
ness of God to her soul; she became delirious. — 
But a few hours before her departure, the Lord 



( 137 ) 

restored her reason. She was, however, speech- 
less, till at last, after struggling seme time as in an 
agony to say something, she cried aloud, Jesus is 
precious ! Jesus is precious ! and sweetly fell asleep 
on the 10th of Feb. 1789, and in the twenty-fifth 
year of her age. 

October 24, 1790. I heard Mr. Wesley preach 
in Spitalfields Chapel with great liberty, from Eph. 
vi. 11. "Put on the whole armour of God." I 
never heard the christian armour so described be^ 
fore.. In the course of his sermon he introduced 
an account of a French Marshal, a very wicked 
man, but a great warrior, who in the blaze of bat- 
tle lifted up his hand toward heaven, and swore by 
his Maker, he would never quit the field w T hile there 
was an Englishman alive in it ! He was harnessed 
with steel, but while pronouncing the oath, with 
his arm extended, a musket ball entering the joints 
of the harness, shot him in the arm-pit, and down 
he fell. Mr. Wesley shewed, in the beautiful con- 
trast, that the christian being armed w T ith the pano- 
ply of God, i. e. his whole armour, no such part 
is left exposed, but the whole soul is covered and 
defended against every fiery dart of our common 
enemy, the devil. 

I aw r oke very happy this morning, with these 
sweet words — " God, the almighty God, is thine ; 
see him to thy help come down, the excellence di- 
vine." And O, how was I blest while musing on 
that precious scripture, "Now we see through a 
glass darkly." It was indeed a blessed season to 
my soul ; especially for a few minutes, when I. felt 
\v T hat I cannot explain. Such a manifestation of 
God as a spirit, uniting himself to my spirit ; such 
a real enjoyment of God as love, as holiness, as 
Heaven, that fulness which thought cannot fathom ! 
And all this to me. My all in all ! united inexpli- 
cably to my spirit; more than filling all niv pow- 

12 * 



( 138 ) 

ers with his effulgence, so that I was wrapt in God. 
O my Lord, and shall I prove for ever this vision, 
this fruition of thy fulness ? 1 know I shall. Thou 
hast given my soul a taste, and thou wilt give the 
abiding reality when time is no more. O thou 
thrice holy God of love, my soul is lost ! Wonder 
and love overpower me quite ! I am abased before 
thee, while I feel the sacred blessing mine. 

Nov. 4, 1792. My closet was truly a Bethel, 
while. my soul was engaged in prayer and holy me- 
ditation on those deep words, Col. iii. 3, 4. 44 Our 
life is hid with Christ in God," &c. I was led to 
inquire as follows : But how is my life hid? My 
animal life being the breath of God, he continues 
or withholds it at his pleasure. But who can tell 
how he animates the clay body ? or how we con- 
tinue in that state of animation ? When he takes 
away our breath we die, and are turned again to 
our dust. How is it that we now feel, hear, smell, 
taste, and see ? How is it that we think, judge, fear r 
love, desire, and enjoy ? To say we are made capa- 
ble of all these, is to say nothing. From what 
arises that capability ? the soul actuates the body ; 
but how ? and who informs and actuates the soul ? 
All is hid with Christ in God. He is the source, 
but we cannot search out his ways. 

Our spiritual life is hid also. By nature we are 
dead. From him we receive the first seed of spi- 
ritual life, " Not of blood (from our natural pa- 
rents) not by the will (or power) of man, but of 
God." And how hid from the wisdom of a natu- 
ral man, are all the workings of divine grace ? We 
are told he cannot know them. Nor can a soul 
possessed of this spiritual life, impart what he 
feels to another ; it is that " new name which none 
knoweth but he that receiveth it." What a mys- 
tery ; Christ in us ! And what a mystery also is that 
faith which justifies and saves, to a carnal mind? 



( i n j 



Hi 

■ 

I 










{« «V*H ' 








H 




/ 11 








( 140 ) 

shall find Jesus their life indeed, with whom they 
shall then appear in glory ! Yes, yes, he will then 
be revealed to their ravished views, when they shall 
fearless " Pass the watery flood, hanging on the 
arm of God." For he will stand in Jordan to see 
them safe through, and landed all in Canaan ; 
where he will display before them his bleeding 
wounds, their only title to eternal bliss ! And O ! 
what then shall be revealed to the disembodied 
saint! Divine amazement and glory all ! But O to 
prove the blissful reality mine ! This, this is all ; 
and while my soul exults in t4ie sweet assurance ; 
I deeply feel the importance of that question, "Si- 
mon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me!" and can tell 
my Lord as Peter did, " Thou knowest all things, 
thou knowest that I love thee." Yea, with all my 
heart. I have communion with my God, as a man 
with his friend. I feel an intimate union with Je- 
sus ; and through him with the Father : and such 
overflowing emanations frqm the Holy Ghost, as I 
have rarely felt before. I think a little more would 
burst the earthen prison, and set my longing spirit 
free. 

I have found it very profitable to read Horse 
Solitariae on the name and titles of Christ; espe- 
cially that of Jehovah Adonai. His remarks are 
very sweet and spiritual ; only his Calvinism I pass 
over. Yet I can allow and join in all that gives 
glory to Christ, and tends to humble the sinner : 
ascribing also, with him, my whole salvation to 
grace unmerited and free. I believe, he who hath 
loved me, died for all; that they who are dead 
might henceforth live, " not unto themselves, but 
unto him who died for them and rose again." 

Feb. 19, 1794. Having heard much of late re- 
specting public matters, aAd about an expected in- 
vasion, with all its consequences; I have been led 
much to secret prayer, and feel I can say to my 






( 1*1 ) 

God, " Xaked came I into the world, and thou 
hast cared for me; nurtured me in infancy, pre- 
served 'me in youth, provided for the wants, yea 
even for the comforts of my riper years ; and now 
I am still thine, and I commit myself, my dear hus- 
band and children — my all unto thee." I received 
for answer, "There shall no evil befal thee, neither 
shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling." The 
day after I had some subtle temptations from the 
enemy ; but the Lord assured my heart, He would 
not suffer me to be tempted above what I am able 
to bear. Whenever I approach the Lord in secret, 
satan vanishes, and Jesus tells me, u All that I 
have is thine." Yea, he truly leads me into green 
pastures, and by the still waters of comfort ! 

iC O to grace how great a debtor 
Daily I'm constrain'd to be." 

My mind has been led of late to meditate on 
the latter day glory : and the Lord's presence rest- 
ed upon me in a peculiar manner, while attending 
to those beautiful ideas of Mr. Fletcher on the 
Millenium. Especially where he observes, "That 
as now the world is overspread with iniquity ; so 
shall it then, be with holiness : insomuch that a 
wicked man shall then be as great a wonder upon 
earth, as a Father in Christ is now ! That the curse 
shall be taken away from universal creation^ vege- 
table, animal, and elementary. The bodies of men 
no longer subject to pain and weakness. No sor- 
row in child-bearing, no temptation. The lion 
will then be as inoffensive as the lamb ; and the 
leopard lie down with the kid : " For they shall 
not hurt nor destroy in all my holy mountain, (saith 
our God,) for the earth shall be full of the know- 
ledge of the glory of the Lord, as the waters co- 
ver the sea." 



( 142 ) 



The dying' bed cf a Saint and Sinner contrasted. 

Dust we are, and unto dust we shall return. A 
few more rolling years : a few more months or 
weeks ; nay, perhaps a few more setting suns, or 
fleeting moments, and we are gone. Gone, Where ? 
Oh ! that awful, dreadful, blissful thought ! Awful 
to all, dreadful to the uaholy, to sinners, and b iss- 
ful to the saints of God. See a man approaching 
to the verge of eternity ; how are all his views 
changed ! how trifling to such an one appears all 
below the sun ? How important the things of God, 
and the salvation of his never dying soul ? Let 
us consider one ignorant of God through life ; 
immersed in pleasure, lost in pride, careless, secure, 
surrounded and beloved by his carnal friends, and 
possessed of a moderate share of wealth ; such a 
one in the bloom of life. Some fatal distemper 
seizes his brittle frame, he is, racked with torturing 
pain, surrounded by weeping friends, whose help 
is all in vain : the physician gives no hope of his 
recovery i and he perceives he is ere long to launch 
into a boundless eternity ! What are his views in 
such a state ? Such a scene have my eyes beheld, 
and therefore with greater certainty I may describe 
it, " Wretched man that I am (methinks I still 
hear him cry,) where are my pleasures now ? What 
hath pride profited me ? or, what good hath riches, 
with all my vaunting, done me? — These are passed 
away as a cloud, and now, O horror to think I 



" Now leaving all I love fcelow, 

To God's tribunal I must go. 

Must hear the Judge pronounce my fate, 

Attd fix my everlasting state." 



( 143 ) 

But can I hope to dwell with God? Ah! No, it 
cannot be. He is holy, I am vile : He is just, and 
will punish the guilty. He called, and I refused : 
He stretched forth his hand, and I would not re- 
gard : and now he laugheth at my calamity, and 
shutteth his ear to my cry. Then I would not, 
now I cannot pray : He often Itnocked at the door 
of my heart, saying, by an inward whisper, Thou 
art wrong ; repent and turn to God : " Seek the 
Lord while he may be found, call upon him while 
he may be found, call upon him while he is near. 
Turn ye, turn ye, why will ye die ? But I would 
none of his counsel, and turned away mine ear 
from his reproof. I refused the yoke of Jesus ; 
despised his ministers, and neglected that salvation 
which was long offered to me by their means. But 
now I feel the dire effects ! Me miserable ; which 
way shall 1 flee infinite wrath and infinite despair ? 

O eternity! eternity! eternity! Fall, fall ye 

rocks, and hide my guilty head : hide me from 
him that sitteth upon the throne, and from the wrath 
of the Lamb ! — But O ! even this cannot be ; I 
must endure his indignation ; I must suffer the 
vengeance of eternal fire ! My damnation is seal- 
ed ! Who can dwell with devouring fire ? Who can 
endure everlasting burnings ? Take warning, O my 
careless friends ! A gaping hell awaits me ! My 
soul is going ! Fiends are waiting to receive it ; 
they encircle me round ; O horror, and eternity !" 

The person described above, was afterwards re- 
prieved for a short season from the jaw&of death ; 
but he did not manifest any genuine repentance : 
and in about six months after, died in raging de- 
spair. 

Let us next see the child of God : the heir of 
glory (pleasing contrast) how different his pros- 
pect ? He longs to reach his Father's house, and 
kisses the kind rod of his afflicting hand. The 




( 144 ) 

welcome news that he shall soon be there, elevates 
his soul with rapturous joy : he has a foretaste of 
those pleasures which are at God's right hand for 
evermore, and the language of his heart is, 

Haste my beloved, fetch my soul 

Up to thy blest abode ; 
Fly, for my spirit longs to see 

My Saviour and my God. 

— Yes, blessed Saviour, and this thou knowest is 
also the language of my heart, while I now bid 
adieu to earth, and all terrestrial scenes. 

Farewell my dearly beloved children, I leave you, 
but your parent's God hath promised to care for 
you. Choose him for your portion, and then if we 
both leave you exposed to the waves of a danger- 
ous world, the faithfulness of an unchanging Jeho- 
vah is engaged to pilot you safe into that haven 
where we shall meet you all again, being bound up 
together in the bundle of life, with the Lord our 
God. 

Farewell in particular, my ever dear husband : 
How was our friendship ripened almost to the ma- 
turity of heaven ? How tenderly and closely are 
our hearts still knit together ? Nor shall the sweet 
union be dissolved by death ; but, being one in 
Christ, we shall be one for ever. Mourn not that 
I go to him first. He saw it best for my weak- 
ness : My feeble frame might not have supported 
your absence ! A very little while, and you will 
follow me ; and O with what joy shall I welcome 
your arrival on the eternal shore, and conduct you 
to him whom our souls love ! Till then adieu ; 
my dearest companion in heaven's road, whom 
God in the greatest mercy gave to me. I leave 
thee with the most grateful sensations, for all the 
kind tokens of affection, which I have ever had 
from thee. — For all thy care, thy love, thy prayers. 



( 145 ) 

I bless my God and thank thee. But I now go to 
Jesus, who is yet infinitely dearer to me. With 
him I leave thee, nor doubt his care, who hath lo- 
ved and given himself for thee. It is but a short 
separation ; our spirits shall soon reunite, and then 
never, never know separation more ! 

Farewell to all my dear friends : Weep not for 
me, but love my God. O make your peace with 
him, and you shall follow me to glory : He is wor- 
thy of your hearts, and only He ! O give them 
wholly to him. I have not served my God for 
nought: I have lived an heaven below in Jesus' 
love ; and now eternally shall praise the glories of 
his grace! And you who know my God, O love 
him more, and never leave him ; so will he be to 
you what he is now to me. Continue "steadfast 
and immoveable, always abounding in the work oif 
the Lord :" for, I can testify to his glory, " your 
labour shall not be in vain." Be faithful unto 
death, and he will give you a crown of life ; which 
I now am hasting to receive. " The chariots of 
Israel, and the horsemen thereof," (2 Kings ii. 12.) 
are all in waiting to carry me home ! 

See the guardian angels nigh 
Wait to waft my soul on high 1 
See the golden gates display'd, 
See the crown to grace my head ! 
See a flood of sacred light 
Which shall yield no more to night ; 
Transitory world farewell, 
Jesus calls with him to dwell ! 

He cries, "Arise, my love, my fair one, and come 
away." Amen, saith my willing, joyful soul, 
*' Even so, come I*ord Jesus !" My soul is on the 
wing. Burst asunder, ye bonds of clay, which 
hold me from my love : How welcome the stroke 
that shall break down these separating walls, knock 



( 146 } 

off* my fetters, $hraw open my prison-doors, and 
set me at liberty. This corruptible body, this tot- 
tering .house of clay, which now cannot sustain his 
weight of lovq, shall soon be made a glorious body 
incorruptible. 

" Shall the stars and sun outshine, 
Shout among the sons of glory ; 
All immortal, all divine P* 

And able then to enjoy the full fruition of my Gocb 
Yes, I shall soon see him as he is ; not through a 
glass darkly, but face to face. The beatific sight 

" Shall fill the heavenly courts with praise> 
And wide diffuse the golden blaze, 
Of everlasting light/* 



*f Waiting to receive my spirit, 
Lo, my Saviour stands above ; 

Shews the purchase of his merit.; 
Reaches out the crown of love !" 






Angels surround my bed to carry me away — 
I come, I come, blest messengers of my God! 
Haste and convey me to his loved embrace ! My 
faith already beholds the crucified Redeemer; 
methinks I see hiiii smile, while round him stand 
the heavenly host exulting ! O glorious train of 
blood-bought souls ! What an innumerable com- 
pany ? And I shall join the choir ; 



rt Shall shout by turns the bursting joy ; 
And all eternity employ, 
In songs around the throne." 



soul ba 



How delightful the theme ? it hath set my 
fire*, yet I cannot express a thousandth part of 
my ideas, or the prospect that lies before me. But 
I shall prove the unutterable bliss ! The inheri- 



"! 



( i*r ) 

tance is mine ? A foretaste now I feel ! Nay, so 
am I filled with glory and with God, that more 
I could not bear and live ! O may I ever feel the 
sacred flame, and through eternity proclaim, the 
depth of Jesus' love ! Amen and Amen. 

HESTER ANN ROGERS. 



THOUGHTS ON A FUTURE STATE ; 

OCCASIONED BY THE DEATH OF 

MRS. HESTER ANN ROGERS. 
JBT A YOUNG LADY, WHO MET IN HER CLASS* 



A, 



LlR-built and baseless all, are earth's delights. 
And grief intrudes into their noblest heights ; 
To changes subject, and to ills a prey, 
They bud and wither in a winter's day ; 
And like th' unfriendly plant of sense, too quick, 
Bloom at a distance, but when touch'd grow sick : 
What calls on man to look beyond this sphere, 
Since he's immortal, and all's mortal here ? 
If endless life, and lasting summers wait 
To crown us when we leave this wint'ry state, 
How should each change instruct us to be wise, 
And tell us, we are natives of the skies ! 

But, sure of bliss (if ought deserves the name) 
Fair Friendship's pleasures must the title claim : 
Her joys are mighty, but they often fail, 
For, while in mortal robes, e'en she is frail. 
Ah yes, Celestia ! Friendship's tears must flow, 
While mem'ry lasts, or we thy absence know ; 
Full oft we trace the happy moments fled, 
When we to noblest joys by thee were led ; 
And whilst we talk'd of heaven, and learn'd the wa}v 
Mercy divine let in a beam of day, 
Till Faith and hope exulting soar'd on high, 
And each affection center'd in the sky ; 
We long'd to clap th' immortal wing, and praise 



( 149 ) 

In louder songs the source of boundless grace, 
Where no dull sense, or intermediate cl ud 
Can ever the Redeemer's presence shroud, 
But love unbounded, and extatic joy 
Burst forth in endless songs without annoy. 

But scenes elaps'd I'll leave, while I presume, 
With daring thought, to penetrate the gloom 
That hides immortal things from mortal view, 
And humbly thy enraptur'd flight pursue 
To worlds of bliss, complete fruition's height, 
Perfect existence, and immediate sight 

Oh, had we seen thee when the vail withdrew, 
And thy free'd spirit from its prison flew ! 
What floods of glory burst upon thy sight, 
What sounds melodious rung the ether bright, 
As heav'nly spirits led thee through the sky, 
Midst blazing suns, and rolling worlds on high ; 
While joyful friends throng'd thick the heav'nly way, 
And haiJL'd thee to the bright abodes of day ; 
Then joining in their songs of triumph high, 
The loud hos annas echo'd tliro' the sky. 

And now what mighty joys tby pow'rs surprise, 
Stretch'd out from mortal to immortal size ; 
Surrounded, fill'd, absorb'd in Godhead's sea, 
And wrapt in visions of the Deity. 
Yet not o'erwhelm'd, bewilder'd or confus'd, 
Thv nature so with the divine infus'd, 
So fitted to thy state, so pure and high, 
That heaves profounds suit thy capacity. 

Thy glow-worm knowledge here by faith begun 3 
In open vision bursts into a sun ; 
Thro' organs weak no longer dribbled in,. 
Kor labours purblind Reason scraps to win ; 
But senses large, congenial, with the skies, 
' W-tke to new life* and into action rise : 
By intuition now, all ear, all sight, 
Perception al), .aid piercing as the light, 
Thou need's! n«t medium to convey delight. 
13 * 



i 



( 150 ) 

With open face thou view'st the Eternal Three 

In union join'd, a glorious Trinity ! 

And at the view increasing raptures flow, 

While proving " 'tis eternal life to know." * 

Thou view'st unveil'd the attributes divine, 

Which in unrival'd beauty round thee shine, 

Adoring the transcendant harmony, 

Which joins them all in man's redemption free. 

Alike by thee his government's survey'd, 
Where'er his all-creative powVs display'd, 
Allow'd his circling providence to trace 
From heav'n's first order to the reptile race : 
Here wonders now create sublime delight, 
And holy praise breaks forth at ev'ry sight. 

Nor less his grace thy seeching mind employs? 
Since " Angels o'er a penitent rejoice ;" f 
Here thou discover'st mercy's richest store, 
And endless cause to wonder and adore. 
Now thou well know'st the secret works of grace* 
Which first attracted thee to seek his face, 
From hence pursuing all the steps divine, 
Which thro' thy life in ceaseless mercies shine ; 
The end discovering of each giief and pain,. 
Why they were sent, and what thy endless gain l 
Alike survey'd is ev'ry hidden snare, 
Escap'd by thee thro' providential care ; 
A thousand blessings now to tiifc are known, 
O'er^which on earth 'a piercelei ^eil was thrown. 
What funds of pleasure must sick views supply* 
And themes for praise throughout eternity ! 

Creation's works are open to thy sigtt, 
From lifeless matter to the seraph bright : 
What wonders in the world of spirits silie, 
Expressive of their origin divine ! 
Here beings high, and things inanimate 
Which still retain their pure primeval stie, 
Are understood by. thee, whose piercing ee 

* Jckn xvzi. % t A** ft* 10 







( 151 ) 

Can into being's inmost essence -pry. ; 
And if revisiting this nether sphere, 
How differently each object must appear! 
No longer can the surface bound thy sight, 
But nature's secret springs are brought to light. 
And God appears diffus'd throughout the whole, 
The source of life — creation's living soul. 

Is such thy knowledge of thy glorious Lord ? 
Then sure thy love in measure must accord ; 
Possessing now the end thy soul pursued, 
In near fruition of its perfect good : 
No more (as here) frail nature sinks opprest, 
When with peculiar revelation blest ; 
Then words were lost in love's immense abyss, 
And silence best expressed th' unutter'd bliss. 
(What proof that love is heav'n's commencement here> 
Since mortal language sinks beneath its sphere, 
Praise aims in vain to set its glories forth. 
And only songs celestial gave it birth :) 
But now at large, uncircumscrib'd and frtt, 
Thy vast affections feed on Deity ; 
Extatic love in holy rapture flows, 
Increasing ever as thy knowledge grows ; 
In full enjoyment and immediate sight, 
Of him whose beauties are thy sole delight, 
Thy praise unwearied, must for ever flow, 
And pleasures no embarrassment can know ; 
Renew'd by having his continual smile, 
No doubt intruding thy delights to spoil, 
But large returns for ever flow to thee, 
Of mutual love and sweet complacency. 

And Joy (Love's first-born offspring) lives to proirS ; 
And celebrate the Jubilee above ; 
Immediate draughts receiving from the throne, 
While thy lov'd Saviour makes his joy thy own , 
Thou shar'st in all his glorious victories, 
Exalting o'er its vanquish'd enemies, 
Ascribing endless glories to his name, 
And ever crying " Worthy is the Lamb 



( is2 y 

cr Who wash'd our robes and conquered aH our foes, 
w And now on us eternal life bestows f* 
And fresh discov'ries of unfathom'd lore 
. Will thro' eternity thy joys improve. 

Are such the glories of thy perfect state ! 
Then thy employments must alike be great j 
f For spirit is to action ever bent,. 
And torpid rest is not its element.) 
Art thou engag'd in acts to us unknown 
Of solemn worship 'fore th* eternal throne, 
Which all thy mighty faculties employ, 
And give full scope to wonder, love, and joy *? 
Or sent to this terrene on errands kind, 
Perhaps to sooth thy Partner's fainting mind, 
When deep-felt grief's impetuous tempests blow, 
Or secret tears from silent anguish flow ? 
Then to administer the cordial sweet, 
And lead his views to yon celestial seat, 
Where kindred souls in sweet enjoyment meet ? 
Or dost thou come a guardian angel bright 
Ofer the dear objects of thy late delight, 
Averting danger and instilling truth 
In soft instructions to their tender youth I 
Or dost thou visit those with kind solace 
Who were thy pupils in the school of grace ? 
Oh, have I ever felt thy friendly pow'r 
Conducting me thro' dark temptation's hour, 
And taken, when unconscious of thy aid, 
The cup of comfort by thy hand conveyed ? 
Reviving thought ! it wipes the tear of woe* 
Since friendship lives more perfect than belowl 
Nor less 'tis likely that thy guardian hand 
Supports thy friends along the shadow*y land, 
When life is hov'ring on the short'ning breath, 
And its warm current gently cools in death ; 
Then bearing the triumphant soul away, 
Thou aid'st its anthems in the courts of day, 
. And mixing with the brilliant hosts above 
Recount' st the wonders of redeeming love ; 
While list'ning angels hear with sweet surprise^ 



,j 



% 153 ) 

And gusts of hallelujahs ring the skies. 

Now fellowship is perfect and complete, 

"Where thought communes with thought, and notions meet, 

And swift as lightning distant souls can reach, 

With clear expression far surpassing speech ; 

Thus fitted for sublime society, 

With beings of consummate purity, 

Thou hold'st high converse with angelic choirs, 

Cherub, and seraph, and with human sires, 

With all the glorious hosts around the throne, 

Perhaps with beings yet to us unknown, 

Gather'd from num'rous worlds remote from ours, 

And form'd with various faculties and pow'rs ; 

While each the victories of grace declare* 

And countless acts of providential care : 

Then joining in melodious strains of praise", 

To mercy's center, and the source of grace, 

Each happy soul takes in large draughts of j'oy a 

And unconceiv'd delights thy pow'rs employ. 

Say does some spirit (perhaps thy infant son,* 
Tor sure by thee he's still belov'd and known) 
Direct thy flight along the etherial way, 
Where suns unnumber'd burn, and comets stray 
To some new workmanship of pow'r divine, 
Where beings in Adamic glory shine, 
And uncurs'd nature all harmonious glows^, 
And shining fair its Maker's glory shows. 
Here wonders rise, on wonders to thy view, 
In objects fair, immaculate and new ; 
And seem with thee in concert sweet to join, 
In one delightful hymn of praise divine. 

Are such as these thy blest employs on high ? 
While God is all in all and ever nigh j 
For wide extended space is full of him, 
Nor ought thy ever-waking sight can dim ; 
Hence, tho' engag^ at natures utmost bound, 
Thy heav'n, — Thy God, must still thy soul surround. 

* IVho died in the year 1789, at the age of six week*. 



( 154 ) 

But cease my vent'rous thought, too apt to $$■ 
To things for thy capacity too high ; 
Since ear hath never heard, nor eye beheld, 
Th' immortal glories of the upper world, 
And all is bold chimera at the best, 
In darkness form'd, and wrapt in errors, Test ; 
Nor thought can paint, nor language give them birth, 
And faint descriptions but degrade their worth ; 
Hence I'm constrain'd the subject to dismiss, 
Till made with her a fellow-heir of bliss. 

May 15, 1795. 



AN ELEGY 

ON THE DEATH OF 

MRS. BfcSTEE, ANN ROGERS. 

BY A LADY 

Who enjoyed the privilege of her maternal instructions 
in the way to glory, 

OaY, shall the muse, in plaintive weeping strains, 

A dear departed pious friend lament ! 
Or join the host on yonder glorious plains, 

To greet, with triumph, the victorious saint ? 

A concurring warrior, who, return'd from fight, 

Has gloriously her ev'ry foe subdued, 
And now reposes in the plains of light, 

And triumphs ia the presence of her God. 

Can we, who sojourn in the vale of life, 

(Who still each anxious, painful trial* .know)* 

Desire to lengthen out the mortal strife* 
Of one so fully meetfrom earth to go ? 

Can we the breathings of her spirit trace, 
Behold the ardour of her panting soul ; 

Her steadfast Care to run th' appointed race, 
Her longing to attain th* heav'nly goal I 






( us ) 

Her deep communion will* the God of love* 
Te feel whose presence was her sole delight ; 

Her life of faith, conceal'd with Christ above, 
Now changed into the beatific sight. 

Say, can we view, and wish to stop her flight, 

E'en for a moment to the world recall ? 
Oh that her glory on our souls may light ! 

On us some portion of her spirit fall ! 

No, surely, here we'll bid our tears farewell, 
And triumph with the saint to glory gone ; 

With her the praise of our Redeemer tell — 
Above, below, the triumph is but one. 

Ah, no ! 'tis not the dead demands our tears, 
But for ourselves, alas ! our sorrows flow ; 

We joy in her escape from grief and fears, 
To where the tree of life and pleasures grow. 

But by a double tie she claimed our love, 

And lo, at once, we mourn a friend and guide t 

Oft has she led our souls to things above, 
And sweetly pointed to the Crucified. 

Deeply experienc'd, satan's wiles she knew, 
And bid us of his dang'rous baits bewase.; 

Set forth the Saviour's love for ever new, 

Watching our souls with constant tender care. 

Full well she knew the goodness of her Lord, 
And wish'd that all with her his lore might feel ; 

For this his mercy she to all declar'd, 
With humble gratitude and pious zeal. 

To youth, or age, her kind advice she gave, 
Alike by youth or age, belov'd, rever'd ; 

To all adapted, all their souls to save, 
Some rous'd by threat'ning, some by comfort cheer'd, 

Yet while she labour'd thus, with pious zeal 
She ne'er despis'd the social calls of life; 



( J *6 ) 

But with a conscientious care fulfill'd 
The duties of a parent, child, and wife. 

Thus while on earth her Master's work she wrought, 
And now her Lord has said, " Enough is done; 

" Thy arms lay down — The fight of faith is fought-*- 
" The prize of everlasting glory's won ? 9 

Thrice happy saint ! no more our tears shall flow, 
No more our selfish hearts thy loss shall mourn ; 

Be this our aim, like thee our God to know, 
That with like joy we may to heav'n return. 

And thou, dear partner of her joys and cares, 

What consolation can a friend impart, 
(A child of your united faith and prayers) 

To ease the sorrows of a wounded heart ? 

Short is the.time^of man's appointed space, 

Soon will this transitory life be gone ; 
Then shall your soul its dearer part embrace, 

And stand with her before yon glorious throne '! 

E'en now, by faith, your soul with hers shall join, 
And learn the strains of the seraphic throng ; 

Till all renew'd in purity divine, 

You sing in heaven the never-ceasing song ! 

+&GJWBS BULMZB 



SPIRITUAL LETTERS, 



MRS. HESTER ANN ROGERS 



WRITTEN 



BEFORE AND AFTER HER MARRIAGE ; 



PECULIARLY CALCULATED 



TO ILLUSTRATE AND ENFORCE 



HOLINESS OF HEART AND LIFE. 



Let us go on unto perfection. — For this is the will 
of God, even our sanctification. — St. Paul. 



J\ m ElV-YORK : 

PUBLISHED BY DANIEL HITT, FOR THE 

METHODIST CONNECTION IN THE 

UNITED STATES. 

Paul Cf Thomas, Printers. 
1811. 



SPIRITUAL LETTERS, 



LETTER I. 

(^Written in the nineteenth year of her age, to a lady of consi- 
derable rank and fortune, who, being offended at her turn- 
ing Methodist, required an account of her conduct fgr 
so doing.) 

Macclesfeld, Nov, 12, 1775. 

Dear and honoured Madam, 
I BEG leave to return you my most sincere 
and humble thanks for your kind letter and ad- 
vice: and, as you are so kind to express a concern 
on my account; I hope you will pardon the liberty, 
and allow me to say what is my opinion and belief, 
and on what alone I can build any hopes of heaven 
and happiness, 

Man, as he came out of the hands of the Crea- 
tor, was perfectly holy and happy. In him shone 
all those amiable and lovely attributes of the Dei- 
ty ; goodness, truth, justice, mercy, and love. But, 
by disobeying the divine command, he entailed up- 
on himself and his whole posterity (for he acted as 
the parent or head of all mankind) the sure wages 
of sin, which is death — death temporal, spiritual, 
and eternal. The body of man became that day 
mortal ; his soul spiritually dead, and h* was every 

oment liable to death eternal. The guilt of 

dam, and the depravity of soul which he contract- 
ed by the fall, immediately devolved upon his un- 
happy offspring. And, we are told, when he begat 



( 160 ) 

a son, it was m his own likeness, after tlis image : 
so that now man is born in sin, and under the 
wrath of God ; and, if he die in that state, will 
stand exposed to the sentence of eternal death 
And what can lost man do in t 1 • case ? Atone- 
ment for himself, or offering meet, he hath none to 
bring; and to pardon sinners' xv ithout a satisfac- 
tion, would not be what is commonly called mercy, 
but it would 'be giving up the essential glories of 
the Godhead. What must be done then ? Why, 
God of his free grace, and unlimited bounty, has 
provided a ransom, an all-sufficient ransom, even 
his well beloved Son ! He who is the Brightness 
of his Father's glory, and the express image of 
his person, became man to die, that man might 
live. 

Ail that Was necessary to be done to complete 
our salvation, consisted chiefly in these three things; 
^— First, a perfect obedience to the divine law :— 
Secondly, an infinitely meritorious satisfaction to 
the law and government of God, for the dishonour 
brought upon them by the sin of man y — Thirdly, 
a restoration of the moral image of God to the 
soul, which image was lost by the fall of man* — 
The first of these was completed by the life of 
our Redeemer, the second by his death, and the 
third is effected by the Holy Ghost. This provi* 
sion, (ample provision,) is made for the salvation 
of man, so that God can preserve untainted his 
adorable perfections ; or, as St. Paul declares, he 
can now be just, and yet justify and save penitent, 
believing man. 

That Christ suffered in the place of sinners, is 
expressed L*y St. Peter in these words, " Who, his 
own self, bare our sins in his own body on the 
tree." Also, Isaiah saith, " Surely he hath borne 
our griefs, and carried our sorrows.— He was 
wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised 



( 161 ) 

for our iniquities. All we lite sheep have gone 
astray, we have turned every one to his own way, 
and the Lord hath laid on him the iniquity of us 
ail." St Paul saith, "He hath made him to be 
sin for us, who knew no sin, that we might be made 
the righteousness of God in him." And again, in 
the third chapter to the Romans, he saith, "There 
is none righteous, no, not one, there is none that 
understandeth,' there is none that seeketh after 
God ; they are all gone out of the way, they are 
together become unprofitable ; there is none that 
doeth good, no, not one." Therefore, he adds, 
" By the deeds of the law there shall no flesh be 
justified in his sight. But now the righteousness 
which is without the law is manifest, being witness- 
ed by the law and the prophets : even the righteous- 
ness of God, which is by faith in Jesus Christ, un- 
to all, and upon all them that believe ; for there 
is no difference, for all have sinned and come short 
of the glory of God. Being justified freely by 
his grace, through the redemption that is in Christ 
Jesus : whom God hath set forth to be a propitia- 
tion through faith in his blood, to declare hi^ 
righteousness for the remission of sins that are 
past, through the forbearance of God : to declare, 
I say, at this time his righteousness, that he might 
be just, and the justifier of him which believeth in 
Jesus." 

With St. Paul, then, I would go on and ask— 
" Where is boasting then ? It is excluded. By 
what law? of works? Nay : but by the law of 
faith. Therefore, we conclude, that a man is jus- 
tified by faith, without the deeds of the law. For, 
to him that worketh is the reward not reckoned of 
grace, but of debt : but, to him that worketh not, 
but believeth on him that justifieth the ungodly, 
his faith is counted for righteousness. Even as 
David also describeth the blessedness of the ipan 
14 * 



( 162 ) 

unto whom God imputed righteousness without 
works, saying, blessed are they whose iniquities 
are forgiven,*and whose sins are covered. Blessed 
is the man unto whom the Lord will not impute 
sin. Abraham believed God, and it was imputed 
to him for righteousness : now it was not written 
for his sake alone that it was imputed to him : but 
far us also, to whom it shall be imputed, if we be- 
lieve on him that raised up Jesus bur Lord from 
the dead ; who was delivered for our offences, and 
was raised again for. our justification." Now, 
from all these, and many more texts of holy Scrip- 
ture which might be named, I believe^ and am sure, 
that works are not the meritorious cause of our 
salvation, yet I believe they are absolutely necessa- 
ry, and will follow as the sure and inseparable 
fruits of a true faith. If you will be kind enough 
to read the eleventh^ twelfth, and thirteenth articles 
of the Church of England, they will farther ex- 
plain my meaning. 

But there is a third thing also necessary tp out* 
salvation ; which is, that the image of God be re- 
stored to the soul. Now, this is done in regenera- 
tion. Our Saviour assures us, "Except a man be 
born again he cannot see the kingdom of God."— 
And again, "Except ye be converted, and become 
as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom 
of heaven. Nor ludeed are we fit for it, till re- 
newed by the Spirit of God. For, zvere it possi- 
ble to be admitted there r we could not enjoy the 
pure and spiritual delight of the saints above. — 
Their joy consists in an entire freedom from all 
sin and corruption ; and in serving, adoring, and 
praising the Father of all their mercies, the Son of 
his love, and the Spirit of Holiness. And they 
are so far from being weary of this, that they think 
eternity too short to utter all his praise ! How irk- 
some would be an eternity spent in this manner, to 



( 163 ) 

a person who never had his affections spiritualized, 
and his will brought into a conformity to the will 
of God? — This is a change which must be wrought 
in this world ; for there is no repentance in the 
grave; as death leaves us, judgment will find us. 
Then, " He that is unjust shall be unjust still, he 
that is filthy shall be filthy still, he that is righteous 
shall be righteous still, and he that is holy shall be 
holy still!" The Holy Ghost is the author of this 
conversion or new birth; for no man hath quicken- 
ed his own soul. It is He that must begin, carry 
on, and complete it. 

"Now, if any man have not the Spirit of Christ, 
he is none of his. And the frutts of this Spirit 
are "love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, 
goodness, faith, meekness, temperance : against 
such there is no law. And the) that are Christ's, 
have crucified the flesh with its affections and lusts. 
If any man be in Christ he is a new creature : old 
things are passed away, behold all things are be- 
come new." And, Jesus Christ is made of God 
unto us, "Wisdom, righteousness, sanctification, 
and redemption : that, according as it is written, 
he that glorieth, let him glory in the Lord — God 
forbid that I should glory, save in the cross of our 
Lord Jesus Christ, by whom the world is crucified 
unto me, and I unto the world." 

This, dear Madam, is what I believe, and this, I 
think, is agreeable to the word of God ; and to the 
Articles and Homilies of the Church of England ; 
and no schism of the Church of Christ. Forfeit- 
ing your love and friendship is a great trial ; but, 
believe me, when I think of seeking salvation ia 
any other way, it seems as a sword piercing my 
very heart ! And seeing my dear mother so very 
unhappy on my account, gives me more grief than 
1 can express : and the thought of being detrimen- 
tal to her in worldly things ; and that my conduct 



C 1M ) 

should make you less her friend, seems &trang£, 
and to me is very afflicting : but / think these 
things ought not to be urged too ' far, especially 
when the soul is concerned. 

I am afraid I have tired your patience, so will 
hasten to subscribe myself, honoured Madam, you*, 
most obliged and dutiful daughter, 

H. A. ROE. 



LETTER II. 

£To Mr. Robert Roe, when at College, about six months after 
his conversion.) 

Macclesfield, Nov. 13, 1776, 

Dear Cousin, 

AS I find by your brother, you have beett 
reasoning with the enemy of your soul ; and there- 
by, in some measure, have distressed your own 
mind ; and as you request me to write, I dare not 
refuse, for I know God can use tfe weakest in- 
struments to comfort his children : and often does, 
that we may ascribe all glory to him alone. May 
he who comforteth those who are cast down, be 
your support. 

As to your falling from God, I do not fear it ; 
and I am sure it is your happy privilege constantly 
to rejoice m his love — that love which so clearly 
spake your sins forgiven. Oppose that adversary 
of your soul by faith: this shield (saith an apostle) 
"shall quench all the fiery darts of the wicked." 
Be resolute and determine to conquer. Jesus in 
our nature hath bruised the serpent's head ; and 
your union with your living head will give you 
power to conquer too. "Fear not, saith God, for X 



( 165 ) 

will help thee. By a simple living faith, cleave 
constantly to Jesus ; and though earth and hell 
combine, they shall not be able to overcome or hurt 
you. Believe even against hope ! and when things 
seem impossible to you ; weak and helpless as you 
are, remember they are possible with God. Lay 
open to him your every care :— 

"His heart is made of tenderness, 
His bowels melt with love." 

He delighteth not to see his children mourning, 
cast down and oppressed; but kindly saith, " I will 
not leave you comfortless, I will come unto you :" 
And again, "I will send you the spirit of truth, 
that he may abide with you for ever." The privi- 
leges of a justified soul are very great ; for, " If a 
child, then an heir, an heir of God" — of all his 
promises. Praise God that you feel the necessity 
of heart-holiness ; and press after it, even after 
14 all the mind which was in Christ Jesus." He is 
already your wisdom and righteousness, and he 
will become your sanctification. O look for it, 
seek it, expect it ! expect it as you are, expect it 
now. Behold, saith God, I stand at the door and 
knock : open to your beloved, and he will come in 
and fill your happy soul. 

Be diligent in your studies. It may be a cross, 
but take it up for Christ's sake, and it will not hurt 
vour soul. Above all, continue in prayer ; — often 
read the word of God upon your knees, and his 
Spirit will explain it to your heart. With respect 
to your, situation, or any temporal thing, be not 
careful ; live the present moment, and lay no 
schemes for to-morrow — you may then be in eter- 
nity ! "Instead of busying our minds," saith Mr. 
Wesley, " with dwelling on the grievous part of 
what is past 'or to come, we should remember that 
the gospel does not permit us to dwell on any thing 



( 166 ) 

but the presence and love of God who fills our 
souls." However you may be tempted, resolve 
you will not reason, except with the Lord, at a 
throne of grace. Seek more union and commu- 
nion with your God : you may attain much of this, 
even before you are sanctified. But O ! ne- 
ver rest till all your evil nature be destroyed* 
and every root of bitterness plucked up ; — till you 
have given your God all your loving heart. And 
remember with Him, "Now is the accepted time 
— now is the day of salvation." He cannot be 
more willing or more powerful than he is to-day. 

As to myself, I see no end of my Lord's good- 
ness. I find every day an increase of love, joy, 
peace, and union, close, intimate union with the 
Great Three One. 

" AH my treasure is above* 
AU my riches is his love." 

I feel I am very unworthy, yet, offering up my- 
self and my services on that altar which sanctifieth 
the gift, my God accepts a worthless worm, through 
his beloved Son. He who is higher than the high- 
est, stoops to dwell in my happy soul ; and I have 
communion with him as a man with his friend.— 
Sometimes in the night he so fills my soul with 
his glorious presence, that I think it will burst its 
prison, and wing away : — and then, O then, where 
should I be ? Surrounded with angels, and con- 
voyed by them to my God — my life, my treasure, 
and my crown ! I can even now scarce support 
the blissful thought. O what a present heaven of 
love I feel ! 

" O what are all our sufferings here* 

If Lord thou count us meet, 
With that enraptur'd host I s appear* 

And worship at thy feet. 5 ' 



( 167" ) 

It cannot be long ere we lay these bodies down — 

"Our conflicts here shall soon be past, 
And you and I ascend at last 
Triumphant with our head !" 
— — u Rejoice in glorious hope ; Jesus the Judge shall come 
And take his servants up to their eternal home : 
We soon shall hear the archangel's voice, 
The trump of God shall sound, rejoice !" 

I reftiain your sincere friend in Jesus, 
' H. A. ROE. 



LETTER III. 

(To the same.) 

Macclesfield, Dec. 10, 1776. 
My Dear Cousin, 

I AM thankful if my letter was any comfort to 
your mind ; to God be all the glory. I hope you 
are now enabled to rejoice, and are filled with that 
peace, which from believing flows. I hope your 
heavenly intercourse is open, and that day by day 
you open still wider the door of your heart, that 
you may more and more be filled with God. 



" Ready are you to receive, 
Readier is your God to give." 



I trust your studies are now made a blessing, and 
that in them you enjoy the presence of Jesus.— 
Let not little difficulties discourage us who serve 
so good a master : — us, who have in view a heaven 
of glory ! Jesus left that heaven — to suffer, bleed, 
and die in our behalf : O then, let us take up our 



( 168 ) 

every cross, and despising the shame, manfully suf- 
fer with him ! — Love makes all things easy — 

" 'Tis this that makes our cheerful feet 

In swift obedience move ; 
'Tis this shall tune our joyful song 

In those sweet realms above." 

I long to be all dissolved in love ; for " God is 
love ; and he that dwelleth in . love, dwelleth in 
God and God in him." 

I have had many trials and some temptations of 
late : but I am firmly persuaded, that while I cleave 
simply to Jesus, nothing shall be able to separate 
me from his love : No, nor to lessen the divine 
flame which I feel continually burning in my heart. 
Those precious words, "My grace is sufficient 
for thee," shall stand firm as the pillars of hea- 
ven : and when the enemy would tell me — in such 
and such a trial thou wilt be entangled and over- 
come, I tell him, my Lord hath promised strength 
equal to my day, and all his darts are instantly re- 
pelled. Nor do I only conquer : but after my ene- 
my is put to flight, I have more love, more peace, 
and nearer union with my God. O the blessed- 
ness of intimate fellowship with him ?— of possess- 
ing that testimony, that we please him : Surely it 
is a taste of heaven : And yet, it is only a drop 
out of the ocean ; as a grain of sand compared 
with the sands on the sea-shore; only the begin- 
ning of an eternity of glory. O for an arch- 
angel's tongue to magnify our adorable Redeemer's 
name ! We can but lisp his praises here ; but we 
shall join in nobler strains above, to praise for ever- 
more the Three in One. — 

" The heavenly principle aspires, 
And swells my soul with strong desires 
To grasp the starry crown." 




• ( 169 ) 

The tord is carrying on a glorious work here* 
Our love-feast last week was a blessed season of 
the outpouring of his spirit : every one had rea- 
son to say, " This is none other than the house of 
God, this is the gate of heaven." Several who came 
there burdened and heavy laden, went away re- 
joicing ; three found a clear sense of pardon, and 
two others were set at perfect liberty from the re- 
mains of sin. The preachers all wept abundantly 
tears of joy, so were they filled with God : and 
indeed, i believe there were few dry eyes. Mr. 
Percival says, there is just such another pouring 
out of the Spirit in Bolton : above thirty joined 
the society there in ten days. I know this will re - 
joice your heart. O let us pray much for a guilty 
world ! I believe this will be a glorious year of the 
power of God. I do not cease to pray for you, 
and remain vour affectionate Cousin and friend. 

H. A. ROE. 



LETTER IV. 

^To Mrs. Salmon of Nantwich.) 

Macclesfield, Nov. lo, 1777. 
My Dear Sister, 

I RECEIVED your kind letter, which filled my 
soul with praise on your ritcount. I rejoice to hear 
your name is enrolled with the despised followers 
of a crucified Saviour. I belbve I shall have rea- 
son to bless God to all eternity that I ever joined 
the Methodists. O may my worthless name ne- 
ver be a dishonour to his glorious cause and people. 
May you and I, dear sister, never be separated 

15 



( t70 .) 

from them, but by death ; and all of us be united 
to the living vine, and bring forth plenteously the 
fruits of righteousness, to his glory and praise, 
" who hath called us out of darkness into his mar- 
vellous light." 

"With divine assistance, I shall not cease to cry 
unto God for Mr. Salmon, and the little flock com- 
mitted to his care. May they be such as shall be 
eternally saved, and their number be increased 
daily ; may holiness unto the Lord be the motto 
of every heart, and his praise dwell on every 
tongue. It becometh well the just to be thankful ; 
for who is a God like unto our God ?. O how great 
are his mercies ! how innumerable his benefits ! 
We may exclaim with David, "they are more in 
number than the hairs of our head :" or, with a la- 
|£r poet, 

" His nature an& his name is love." 

O let our souls praise the Lord, and all that is 
within us magnify his glorious name : Once we 
were darkness, but now we are light ; once we 
were the slaves of sin and satan, but now we 
are set free, in the glorious liberty of the chil- 
dren of God, and our lot is among the saints.— 
Once we were in our sins, and under condemna- 
tion ; now we are the children of God, and heirs 
of everlasting life : once we were enemies to the 
eternal God, by wicked works and tempers ; now 
we are reconciled through the blood of his Son, 
and he is become our Father and our Friend.— 
Such grace, such love as this, demands our prai- 
ses. Others may boast of riches and estates, their 
high birth and parentage ; but we will joy in the 
Lord, and glory in the rock of our salvation ! We 
are plucked as brands from the burning, and we 
will praise our great Deliverer :~Jesus is our Re- 



( W ) 

deemer and our Saviour, our Beloved and our 
Friend ; and we will give him our hearts, our 
lives, our all. 

The poor unthinking multitude "see no form 
nor comeliness in him, neither any beauty that 
they should desire him," but we know. and prove, 
that "he is the chief among ten thousand, and al- 
together lovely." He is the friend that sticketh 
closer than a brother ; that sympathises in our in- 
firmities, and beareth our sorrows. He carethfor 
our necessities, and supplieth our wants. He 
strengthened our feeble hands, and feedeth 
our hungry fainting souls with the manna of his 
love : in him is all we want, and he is all our own : 
yea, and he will be our satisfying portion for ever. 
" Happy are the people that are in such a case ; 
yea, blessed are the people that have the Lord for 
their God. 

My health has been very indifferent for some 
time : but, blessed be God, pain is sweet, and life 
or death is gain : I desire nothing but to do and 
suffer the will of my heavenly Father, and to in- 
crease in all the height of holiness, in all the depth 
of humble love. I do lie at the feet of Jesus, and 
find his love for ever new. Lord, what am I that 
thoushouldst thus regard me ! 

" He calls .a worm his friend ! — 
He calls himself my God ! 
And he shall save me to the end 

Through Jesus' blood."* - * 

I hope my dear sister proves, as sweetly as I do, 
the great privilege of approaching a God of love 
in secret prayer. These are^ precious seasons to 
me : here we may disburden all our cares and fears 
to him, who can and will save to the uttermost : 
by this we may renew our covenant with the Great 
Three One, day by day, and receive from -him fresh 
strength ; and in this means may delightfully con- 



C %P ) 

verse with our beloved — lay open to him our hearty 
and praise him that knows every secret there.- — 
And how does he melt the soul with his overwhelm- 
ing grace, that thus seeketh him ! They are such 
ravishing moments with me, that often I know not 
whether I am ©n earth or in heaven r :— surely it is a 
taste of heavenly bliss ! I do not forget my dear 
sister and friend, when I thus approach the gra- 
cious throne. O pray for me : dear Mrs. Salmon, 
yours in divine bonds, 

H. A. ROE. 



LETTER V. 






(Written at a time when she was supposed to be near deatl> j 
and addressed to a lady of her acquaintance.) 

Macclesfield, Jaiu 9, 177 '8. 

FAREWELL my friend ! To the care of that 
God of truth and love, who hath been so gracious 
untb me, I commend you. May you prove all the 
riches of his grace in life, and lay down this earthly 
tabernacle with the same joy and assurance of hope 
I now do. U I have fought the good fight, I have 
finished my course, I have kept the faith; and 
henceforth there is laid up for me a crown, a never- 
fading crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the 
righteous Judge, shall give me at that day." I joy- 
fully declare, it is by grace alone I am saved : — Je- 
sus is all in all, and I am nothing without him. 

I believe you will bear with a friend if she leave 
the following dying cautions : and O may th^ Spi- 
rit of holiness write them on your heart : — Deny 
yourself wholly, take up your cross daily, and fol- 
low Christ fully. Watch, fast, pray. Avoid all 



m 

occasions of temptation resolutely ; but, if at any 
time you are overcome, delay not to fall at the feet 
tif Christ that moment for pardon and strength.— 
The eyes of earth and heaven are upon you : Ma- 
ny wait for your halting ; more, I trust, wish you 
success in the name of the Lord : I am sure I do, 
and therefore write without reserve. Take care of 
your own understanding : do not suffer yourself to 
think of it, but with deep abasement, that you have 
made no better use of it. Do not adorn your body 
now, if you wish to be found adorned with Christ 
in the day of eternity. I sit under the shadow of 
my beloved ; while I write, I feel him sustaining 
my soul. O Jesus, great is thy goodness, great is 
thy mercy ! I feel my insufficiency to speak of the 
goodness of my God ; it is more than I am able to 
express : I enjoy in him all I want ; but am daily 
more sensible how little I am. O how his grace 
is magnified in a poor worm !— You also have tasted 
of his love ; may you follow him fully and stead- 
fastly. While you do this, though storms should 
rise, and winds blow, they will only settle and fix 
you more fully on the rock which cannot be moved. 
Believe simply and constantly, so shall you love 
steadfastly and entirely : then shall the Lord guide 
you continually, and satisfy your soul in drought ; 
and your soul shall be as a watered garden, and as 
springs of water which fail not, 

Farewell — I was going to say, for ever ; but ah 
no ! I shall see you again : May it be where we 
shall rejoice together, in that joy which cannot be 
taken away from us : Then shall we part no more, 
but live for ever in the presence of our Jesus, 

'* There, only there we shall fulfil his great design, 
And in his praise with all our elder brethren join ; 
In hymns and songs which never end, 
Our heavenly, everlasting Friend \ 

H.A. ROE. 

15 * 



Bear Cousin, 



( iw ) 

LETTER VI. 

(To Mr. Robert Roe.) 

Macclesfield^ Feb. 12,1778. 

SINCE I wrote to you before, I have been, to 
appearance, on the borders of eternity. My body 
was indeed brought very low ; but my soul was 
full of heavenly vigour, and longing for immorta- 
lity. O what heavenly transport filled myravished 
breast, when I thought I had done, for ever done 
with all below : and, as I then thought, in a few 
days, or weeks at most, I should leave my cum- 
brous clay, to bask in the beams of uncreated 
beauty — should stand before the slaughtered Lamb ? 
and see the wonders reserved for me : 

" Should fall at his feet 

The story repeat, 
And the lover of sinners adore." 

When I should be lost in Father, Son, and Spirit- 
overwhelmed and implunged in the fathomless abyss 
to all eternity. What I felt cannot be described ; 
it was a real taste of joys immortal — it was a drop 
of heaven let down. But behold ! I am yet spa- 
red : infinite Wisdom protracts my stay a little 
longer, atndl bow my soul in resignation at his feet. 
I am not my own, but his ; and O may my lan- 
guage ever be, "not as 1 will^but as thou wilt."— 
I find I need not drop the body to enjoy the pre- 
sence of my God : he dwells in my heart : — in him 
I live : — he surrounds, supports, sustains me : — 
wrapped in his being, I resound his praise ! O 
the heartfelt communion my soul enjoys with him 
—the intimate converse, the sweet fellowship ! My 
?*pirit is filled, and yet enlarged. It often seems as 







( *?* ) 

if mortality could bear no more ; and yet my de- 
sires are insatiable f I long to plunge deeper into 
God. 

I rejoice to find by your last letter, that you are 
cleaving to your Lord, and happy in his precious 
love. O that every day and hour you breathe, you 
may sink deeper into him ! All, all /ou want is 
there. Let not your trials be any discouragement : 
nay, "Rejoice and be exceeding glad r for great is 
your reward in heaven." Remember, every cross 
is a pledge of your crown, and all your sufferings 
will add to your eternal weight of glory. I hope 
you are all in earnest for the previous pearl of per- 
fect love : O look up to a present and a faithful God ! 
Ask, and you shall receive : — all things in him are 
now ready : be not faithless, but believing. Hath 
he said, "I will circumcise thy heart," and will 
he not do it ? Sooner shall heaven and earth pass 
away than his promise fail if you only embrace it 
by believing. O claim your privilege—the inherit* 
ance of the land of promise, the rest of holiness 
purchased for you by blood ! Go up and possess it 
-—fear not— Come now, just as you are— -empty, to 
be filled— filthy, to be cleansed. 

99 Sink into the purple flood — 
Rise to all the life of God." 

Be assured I ever remember you at the throne of 
grace, and remain your friend and sister in Jesus, 

H. A. ROE. 



I 176 ) 
LETTER VII. 

(To the same.) 

Macclesfield, March 10, 17 78. 
Bear Cousin, 

I BLESS God that you learn Wisdom by the 
things that you have suffered ; and that you feel 
every temptation from satan, as well as your out- 
ward trials, do work together for your good. So 
it shall ever be to all who love God, as I am fully 
persuaded you do. 

I have of late been exercised with various and 
close trials, but not one too many ; for all are per- 
mitted by my God! He is my portion, and reign- 
eth in my heart alone. I have a happiness, there- 
fore, independent on any creature, or any thing be- 
low the sun : God is all, and he is mine ! 

" All my treasure is above, 
All my riches is his love.*' 

O precious portion, invaluable treasure ! — 

" Joys that never, never past — 
Through eternity shall last. 5 * 

I think believers, in general, do not meditate 
enough on their privileges, and. the great things 
God hath done for them, and promised to them ; 
from what they are redeemed, and the fulness they 
are called to possess. Let you and I now dwell a 
little on the blessed theme : let us look to the rock 
from whence we were hewn, that we may rejoice 
the more in what we now are. Were we not once 
going on in the way to eternal ruin ? dead in tres- 
passes and sins, yea, slaves to satan, and led by 
that grand adversary whithersoever he would ; yea 9 
sleeping secure on the very verge of destruction ? 



( w ) 

O my friend, if God had then cut the thread of 
life, and sent us to reap what our sins deserved, we 
had now been lifting up our eyes in torments ! But, 
stupendous love ! 

" When justice bar^d the sword 
To cut the fig-tree down, 
The mercy of our Lord 
Cried, let it still alone." 

Yes, he spared our rebel souls — he shed his blood 
to ransom us from death ; — pleads our helpless 
cause before the throne, and mercy to our rescue 
flew. We were awakened by his Spirit to a sense 
of our danger : and no sooner did we truly seek, 
but he was found. Yes, we found redemption in 
his blood, the forgiveness of our sins ; and, from 
being the bond slaves of hell, are become the chil- 
dren of God ; and now all the Father hath to give 
is ours — ours by covenant through Jesus. He 
hath the Holy Ghost to give, as an abiding, indwell- 
ing Comforter : this blessing then is ours.- All the 
promises are our own : — u They are all yea and 
amen in Christ Jesus." Jesus hath given him- 
self to us, and the Father is our God. Was it not 
the word of our redeeming Lord, "I and my Fa- 
ther will come, and make our abode with you." — 
And again, "I will send you another Comforter, 
even the Holy Ghost, who shall abide with you 
for ever — He dwelleth with you and shall be in 
you." Here then are promises of the whole divine 
Trinity, dwelling in our hearts : and are not these 
promises sealed with the blood of the covenant ? 
But, will God, the eternal Trinity, dwell in an im- 
pure heart ! — Oh no ; but, by entering he will 
cleanse it. Every root of bitterness, every re- 
maining sin, and all the strong armour of unbelief, 
will flee before him. Can they stand his presence ? 
No, no ; God is love, and where he dwelleth, no- 
thing but pure love can dwell.'— 



( isr« ) 

" Thy presence, Lord, I cannot doubt, 
Extirpates inbred sin." 

O glory be to God,what a precious salvation is here I 
And this is the privilege, the happy privilege of all 
who have embraced the Saviour. All he hath pro- 
mised, all he hath to give, is the believer's portion. 
Faith believes the record true, without staggering 
at the promise. The promise, my dear friend, is 
for you. Receive it then, and let the humble lan- 
guage of your soul be — u Be it unto me according 
to thy word." O rely on the word of a God that 
cannot lie, and receive him as your sanctification \ 
and as your indwelling, abiding Comforter, your 
King and your God. If you feel the flame that 
is now kindled in my breast you will ; this will be 
the happy moment. — Speak, thou eternal God, and 
let thy servant now be clean. 

I have been led unawares thus to speak, but I 
believe it is by the Spirit of God ; for, while I 
write, I am indeed filled with divine and ravishing 
consolations ! — My soul feels all I have spoken. — 
Glory be to God, for I am most unworthy. I have 
much greater depths of humble love to prove, and 
my soul thirsts after them. O pray for me ! — 
"Praise for me, the God I truly love, and believe 
me ever your aifectionate sister and friend, 

H. A. ROE. 



LETTER VIII. 

(To the wane.) 

Macclesjleld, May 15, 1778. 
Bear Cousin, 

I AM not much surprised that you nre assault- 
ed with the temptations you mention in your last; 
and though I feel for you, I have no fears on your 



( irs ) 

account. I know the Lord will make your dark- 
ness light, your crooked paths straight, and your 
soul shall see the salvation of God. 

It is no marvel that the enemy of souls employs 
his every artifice to destroy your peace* And will 
he not the rather do this just at a critic^ 1 season, 
when your outward trials are great ? He sees you 
pursuing the things, and espousing the glorious 
•cause which shall overturn his kingdom : marvel 
not then at his rage against you. It proves to me, 
that you will be an instrument in the hands of God, 
of much good to precious souls ; and that this dire 
enemy foresees it likely to be so ; and therefore 
would retard, though he cannot hinder or stop your 
progress. You say you " cannot believe till these 
doubts are cleared up." Here is another device of 
satan. Your- doubts cannot be removed till you 
do believe : fefth only is able to quench all the fiery 
darts of the wicked one; — only believe, and you 
shall be save^from ail your doubts ; meridian evi- 
dence shall p,iu,them all to flight. Cast your soul, 
your fears, yputr^unbelief, your inbred sin, your all 
at the feet of Christ; and into the fountain of his 
blood, the depths of his love. Be determined— 
JLord thou shalt be my teacher, wisdom, guide, 
counsellor — my atonement, my King, my portion. 

* ( Helpless into thy hands I fall — 
Be thou my God, my all in all." 

Yes, my dear friend, leave Christ to answer every 
temptation that besets you : he hath said, " My 
grace is sufficient for thee." This is enough ; be 
not faithless, but believing. 

You ask if I am not in a delusion respecting my 
experience of perfect love ? Blessed be God, I 
not the shadow of a doubt :• — even satan him- 
self imds these suggestions vain, and has left them 
off. He would rather lead me to doubt, or care 



( 18(1 ) 

for to-morrow ; — saying, such and such a thing is 
at hand, and will overcome thee :- — thou wilt fall in 
some of thy trials; or, when death comes, thou 
wilt be under a cloud. But, through grace divine, 
I am enabled to discern from whence these sugges- 
tions come, and they never distress me for a mo- 
ment : for, by constant looking to Jesus, I receive 
fresh strength in every time of need. I know I 
am noxu right, and I trust him for all that is to 
come ; and, though all weakness, ignorance, help- 
lessness, and unworthiness. ; yet, I have the testi- 
mony of my own conscience, and the witness of 
God's JSpirit, that I am wholly and unreservedly 
his — his in body, spirit, soul : nor does any thing 
but love remain in my heart* But, were I in a de- 
lusion— -Oh happy delusion ! it brings salvation- 
it brings heaven below ! Nay, with what I this mo- 
ment feel, I could be happy in the greatest of out- 
ward conflicts and distresses, for Christ is in my 
heart ! I dwell in God and God in, me — I dwell in 
love, and love dwelleth in me — God is love, and 
he is all I want. And is it possible we should be 
ignorant whether we feel tempers contrary to love, 
or no ? — whether we rejoice always, or are burden- 
ed and bowed down with sorrow ? — whether we 
have a praying, or a dead, lifeless spirit ? whe- 
ther we can praise God and be resigned in all trials, 
or feel murmurings, fretfulness, and impatience 
under them ? Is it not easy to know, if we feel an- 
ger at provocations or whether we feel our tem- 
pers mild, gentle, peaceable and easy to be entreat- 
ed, or feel stubbornness, self-will, and pride ? 

Whether we have slavish fears, or are possessed of 
that perfect love which casteth out all fear that hath 
torment ? 

You ask how I obtained this great salvation ? I 
answer, just as I obtained the pardon of my sin— - 
by simple faith. No sooner did the pride and re- 



( 181 ) 

teaming unbelief of my heart submit to be taught, 
and to receive his precious, full salvation, as a free 
gift of his grace, by faith alone, without any fit- 
ness or worthiness ; but I was instantly filled with 
such humbling depths of love to God, and union 
with him, with such discoveries of my own no- 
thingness, as wholly swallowed up my soul in gra- 
titude and praise. I knew the faithfulness of my 
God, and ventured on the promise, in spite of rea- 
soning and unbelief, and all the lying suggestions 
of the enemy, and believed against hope, or what- 
ever opposed ; when I felt my soul sink into no- 
thing, and Jesus became my all. I cried, this is 
what I wanted ; I am emptied of self, and filled 
with God : — I am now where I ought to bej a 
Worm at Jesus' feet, saved by grace. But a thou- 
sand suggestions were soon darted ; such as, thou 
wilt soon lose it : thou canst hot stand ; when thou 
art tried thou wilt fall. I said, Lord, thou alone 
canst be my keeper — see thou to that— I have given 
myself into thy hands, and I will hang upon thee. 
Thou hast promised, " My grace is sufficient for 
thee." O the preciousness of these words ! I shall 
praise God in eternity that they are written in his 
book. This, and such other promises have been 
proof for me against every opposition and trial I 
have met with, (which you know are not few :) 
and by thus trusting the promise and the promiser, 
I have conquered : and glory be to God, through 
his strength I shall still prevail. It is by hanging 
on Jesus, as an infant on its mother's breast, 1 re- 
tain my peace, and love, and joy: by watching, 
prayer and praise : by pressing after deeper de- 
grees of humble love, communion with God, and 
active holiness. Never were the ways of God so 
sweet as now to my soul : I love the narrowest path 
his Spirit and his word point out; and all my de- 
light is to do and suffer his will. O may the same 

16 



( 182 ) 

God of love fully reveal his great salvation in your 
heart, and be himself your rich portion for ever ; 
prays your affectionate cousin and friend, 

II. A. ROE. 



LETTER IX. 

(To Miss Bourn, of Newcastle, Staffordshire.) 

Macclesfield, Aug. 20, 1778. 
My Dear Sister, 

I WAS glad tb receive yours by Mr. Hall. 
It always gives me pleasure to hear from you. In 
the bonds of divine love, my soul is united to yours : 
and, from the contents of your letter, as well as the 
power I have in your behalf with my God, 1 am 
assured, that before long you will be a happy wit- 
ness that Jesus can, and will, and does destroy the 
last remains of sin in his children's hearts in this 
life : yea, in every such heart, who does truly 
hunger and thirst after righteousness. You do 
hunger and thirst : O that you could look to him 
this moment as a present Saviour ! Is he not so ? 
Do you not now feel his loving presence ? Are you 
not his ; the purchase of his blood ; the new-made 
creature of his love ; born of God, and become his 
child ? Is not Jesus your beloved and your friend ? 
Can he then deny his own Spirit's cry in your 
heart : and that too when all you ask is, that he 
will destroy his own enemies in your soul, and 
enable you to love him with all your heart ? But, as 
to that temptation, if you receive it now, you will 
/soon lose it : is he not as able, and willing, and 
faithful to keep, as he is to save ? Yes, glory to his 
holy name, I know iie is. He is the all-sufficient 



( 183 ) 

God, and, saith he, " My strength is made perfect 
in weakness." Trust him then, poor, weak, and 
helpless soul. " But it is not long enough since 
you were justified." Does God tell you so ? Has. 
he set any limited time ? None that I know of, ex- 
cept the present. He saith, Now, a to-day if you 
will hear my voice." And again, u Now is the day 
of salvation." And again, " Come, for all things 
are now ready." He has commanded, u Thou 
shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, 
with all thy mind, with all thy soul, and with all 
thy strength:" and he hath promised, I will cir- 
cumcise thy heart, that thou mayest do it." But 
does he ever say, suffer so much, or stay so long, 
and I will do it ? Nay, but he saith, u If any man 
thirst, let him come unto me and drink. Ask, and 
ye shall receive, that your joy may be full." 

My dear Miss Bourn, there are some in this 
town, who have not been justified so long as you ; 
who have received, and do profess this blessing, 
O then, come once more, even as you came when 
first reconciled to God, and cast your soul simply 
on Jesus ! Would he bleed for us when rebels, and 
will he refuse to avenge us of our inbred foe, when 
we are his beloved children ? Surely no ; it cannot 
be«i 1 hope soon to see my dear friend, and that 
she will be able to tell me she has obtained tlys 
precious salvation. 

Did you ever read Mr. Wesley's Sermon on the 
Scripture-way of Salvation ? You would do well 
to consider the conclusion of it attentively. " Here- 
by," says he, " you may surely know whether you 
are seeking to be sanctified by faith, or by works. 
If by works, you want something to be done first, 
before you are sanctified. You think I must first 
be or do thus or thus. Then you are seeking it by 
works unto this day. On the other hand ; if you 
seek it by faith, you may expect it as you are ; and 



( 184 ) 

if as you are, then expect it novj. Do you believe 
we are sanctified by faith ? Be true then to your 
principle, and look for this blessing just as you are, 
neither better nor worse : as a poor sinner that has 
nothing to pay, nothing to plead, but Christ died. 
And if you look for it as you are, expect it no xv : 
stay for nothing : why should you ? Christ is ready : 
and he is all you want." Let your inmost soul cry 
out, 

" Come in, come In, thou heavenly guest, 

Nor hence again remove ; 
Settle and fix my wav'ring soul, 

With all thy weight of love." 

Glory be to God, he carries on a glorious work 
among us here. Sinners are convinced, many are 
justified ; and lately, several backsliders are resto- 
red. One poor soul, that has been long wandering 
from her God, was restored last night, while a few 
of us were at prayer. I am, my dear friend, yours 
in Jesus, H. A. ROE. 




LETTER X. 

(To the same.) 

Macclesfield, Nov. 15, 1778. 

My dear .Sister, 

YOUR letter caused great thanksgiving to 
God on your account : all glory be to him who 
hath increased your desires after holiness. Fear 
not, you will surely attain, if you follow on. That 
lovely Lamb that bled on Calvary, was slain for 
this ; u to redeem us from all iniquity." O look 
to him: behold the glory of God ! See the God 



( 18* ) 

«rf angels : © look at his precious bleeding side ; 
his hands, his head, his feet ! Behold him gaspingi 
groaning, dying, that you might be made clean ? 
Hear him cry, u It is finished." How finished, if 
his blood cleanseth not from all sin ? " Without ho- 
liness no man shall see the Lord." But, glory to 
his name, whoever steps into that fountain, which 
is expressly said to be for sin and for uncleanness, 
shall be made perfectly whole* O let your faith 
venture in : wash and be clean : 

" Sink into the purple flood, 
Rise to all the life of God." 

Open, my dear sister, open your willing, long- 
ing heart, and the King of Glory will come in. And 
then be assured, " all evil before his presence shall 
fly.'* Sin cannot remain where Jesus fully dwells : 
for he is holiness,, and when he fills the soul, he 
leaves no room for any other guest* Whenever 
you can say, Jesus, thou art my all, and I love my 
God the present moment, with all my loving 
heart, you that moment possess the blessing of 
sanctification, and never need to lose it more. It 
is retained, as well as received, by simple faith. 
We can. have no stock of grace on hand, but live 
moment by moment; hanging and depending on 
the adorable Jesus. In him there is a full supply 
of all we want, or can want. 

This, blessed be God, I prove, and that conti- 
nually. Every hour, every moment brings me 
fresh delight in God. He is an inexhaustible foun- 
tain of love :. 

" Insatiate to this spring I fly, 
I drink, and yet am ever dry." 

I cannot express the sweet union I feel with my 
Cod at this moment. 

16 * 




( 186 ) 

i( My Jesus to know, and feel his blood flow, 
'Tis life everlasting-, 'tis heaven below. 

I am much blest when I remember my dear 
friend at the throne of grace ; and often do 1 be- 
seech my blessed Lord to 

" Fill her with all the life of love, 
In mystic union join ^ 
Her to thyself, and let her prove 
The fellowship divine." 

Jesus is unspeakably precious while I write : — 
May you catch the flame I feel : 

"And when your cup with love runs o'er, 
O may- sin never enter more." 

So prays, my dear Sister, yours in divine bonds, 

H. A. ROE. 



LETTER XL 

(To Miss R. before she received sanctification.) 

Macclesfield, Nev. 21, 1778 

LAST Thursday evening I was pleasingly 
surprised by a letter from my dear Miss R. who I 
sometimes feared had forgot all her purposes and 
promises : and also, all the blessings she so often 
received when we met in our Lord's name. I was 
glad to find my fears groundless ; but much more 
pleased and thankful was I to find by the contents 
of your last, that your precious soul was still la- 
bouring up the hill of holiness : Go on and pros- 
per. Many are the trials we meet with in the way : 
yea, our Lord hath foretold us, that in the world 
we should have tribulation, but in him, peace, 
which is the seal of cancelled sin. 




( 187 ) 

I hope you keep a sense, yea, a clear sense of 
pardon at the worst of times. This is your privi- 
lege, and I am thankful you discern such beauty 
in holiness : O how sweet are those words : — 
"Without holiness no man shall see the Lord." — 
You have cause to praise God for the knowledge 
he has given you of your nature's depravity. It 
is very good and profitable to know our sinful ten- 
dencies. O my dear, be very watchful against lit- 
tle things, and "keep thy heart with all diligence ; 
for out of it are the issues of life and death." Let 
God have your first thoughts ; let him be first in 
your affections ; so shall your words and works 
please him : for 

"What are all our works to him, 
Unless they spring from love ?" 

Daily entreat him to take away all opposition that 
remains in your will, to his providential order ; so 
shall you find rest in those circumstances, which 
otherwise would give you much uneasiness. The 
meditations of your heart leading to him ; the af- 
fections of your soul cleaving to Jesus ; your will 
sinking into his will ; — here is the rest of the saints ! 
while all that is within you calls your Jesus King, 
" Whatsoever ye ask in my name," saith our ado- 
>al^le Redeemer, "you shall receive." Ask, then 
my dear friend, for a greater power of faith ; for, 
as you believe, so will you increase in every grace 
of his Spirit ; and your soul will more and more 
centre in God, till youbecpme one spirit with him, 
who is the life of all living ; yea, the very essence 
of heaven itself! 

"To his meritorious passion, 
All our happiness we owe ; 

Pardon, uttermost salvation, 
Heaven above, and heaven below ; 

Grace and glory 
From that open fountain flow." 



% 188 y 

To the bosom of our almighty Jesus I com^ 
mend you : O may his face always shine upon 
you, and his blessed, loving Spirit fill your soul ! 
Pray much, and you shall attain all the salvation 
you desire, I am yours in bonds of divine love, 

H. A. ROE. 




LETTER XII. 

£To a preacher of the gospel, in answer to some inquiries rel2t** 
tive to the state of her soul.) 

Macclesfield^ Dec. 6, 1778. 
Bear Sir, 

TO tell yora one thousandth part of the pre- 
eiousness of Jesus, is a task impossible to men or 
angels. To my soul, he is truly the altogether 
lovely ; — the one object in which all my desires,. 
expectations, and affections centre — the Alpha and 
the Omega. To him my more than all 1 owe, be- 
ing snatched by his grace, a brand from everlast- 
ing burnings ! My surety he is ; my life, my peace, 
my treasure, my husband, brother, friend — my 
wisdom, my righteousness, my sanctification ; my 
all in all, for time and for eternity. Him, and 
him alone I desire : Him and him alone I love. 

rr I have no sharer of my heart, 
^To rob my Saviour of a part, 
And desecrate the whole ; 
His loveliness my soul hath prepossess'd, 
And left no room for any other guest.'* 

Yet, O how is my heart expanded, when I see, 
I have jet received but, as it were, a drop out of 
the ocean ! but a glimpse of his precious fulness £ 



C 189 ) 

and an eternity of growing bliss lies yet before me ! 
This glorious prospect truly lays me where I 
would for ever lie, at his dear feet, the monument 
of his mercy. O that I could praise him as I 
would ! but language fails, and I long for that day 
when I shall praise him in nobler strains above. — 
Were he to give the summons now, and call from 
earth away, O how gladly could I wing my flight 
this hour ! Loose from creature and created good, 
I only wait the joyful word, Come up hither ! 
Then would I exulting, 

" Glap the glad wing", and soar away, 
And mingle with the blaze of day." 

In that blessed kingdom, dear Sir, I hope to 
meet you, though perhaps on earth we may meet 
no more. In the mean time may you be filled with 
all the communicable fulness of Father, Son, and 
Spirit; rejoicing herein with increasing joy, and 
made very useful in your Lord's vineyard, prays 
sincerely your real well-wisher for Christ's sake, 

H. A. ROE. 



LETTER XIII. 

(To Mr. Robert Roe.) 

Chester, Dec. 19,1778. 
Dear Cousin, 

I AM glad to hear by your sister, that you are 
restored to a measure of health ; and that the 
L©rd, the faithful God is still your support : — may 
he be so to the end of your pilgrimage. Lean eve- 
ry moment on your beloved, and attend continually 
to the lessons of his love, I trust you have learned 



( 190 *) 

many sweet and important truths in your late afflic- 
tion, and are coming out of it as gold purified in 
the fire. You have no cause to fear all the legions 
of your spiritual enemies : — tempt they may, and 
powerfully assault, but cannot harm, i am led to 
believe, all the depressions of mind you sometimes 
feel, are, in a great measure, owing to two things : 
First, not being deeply and clearly sensible what 
is temptation, and what is sin ^ And secondly, ac- 
counting the inseparable infirmities of the corrupti- 
ble body to be sin : such as, errors in judgment, 
failures of memory, bodily weakness, or pain; 
and at times, through various causes, a depression 
of animal spirits. This last mistake may arise 
from another, viz. looking upon elevating, trans- 
porting joy, as inseparable from true grace. Now, 
I think you must allow, that, as free agents, nothing, 
but what our will chooses in opposition to the will 
of God, or, as Mr. Wesley expresses it u nothing 
but a wilful transgression of a known law, is sin." 
Granting this then, and though ten thousand sinful 
objects, or desires, in ail the pleasing forms that sa- 
tan can invent, may be darted into our minds, or 
displayed before the eyes of our imagination, if 
our will and affections do not embrace or choose 
them, but we resist and hate them ; in this case 
we do not sin, but conquer* 

Secondly ; when through various indispositions 
©f the -frail, tottering body, we feel a very small 
degree of joy ; nay, perhaps only a degree of 
hope and confidence, and, at the same time, the 
enemy endeavouring to lay the axe of his tempta- 
tions at the root of this ; this, I say, is a time to 
take the advice of God, by his prophet : " Who 
is among you that feareth the Lord, that pbeyeth 
the voice of his servant, that walketh in darkness 
and hath no light i Let him trust in the name of 
the Lord, and stay upon his God*" This text 



( 1M ) 

"graves that joy is not inseparable from grace. It is 
not according to our joy, (for this is the fruit or ef- 
fect of faith,) but according to our faith he blesses 
and saves, accepts and loves us. Our love to God, 
his cause, his people, his precepts, all springing 
from the root of faith, are so many acts of the soul, 
which our blessed Lord and Master approves and 
accepts through the beloved ; and are inseparable 
evidences of our sonship. But joys, comforts, 
and communications of the Holy Ghost, are so 
many free gifts bestowed on us ; because the Lord 
delights in blessing, comforting, and dwelling in 
us, and are so many pledges of his unmerited love. 
Now, if the Lord permit bodily affliction, so that 
the animal spirits cannot receive the communica- 
tions ; (I mean, cannot receive them without an 
extraordinary exertion of his power and love, 
which, indeed, we often see manifested in the dying 
hours of those who love God, and I myself have 
often felt in sickness and close trials,) ought we 
not, in such cases, to cast ourselves by faith on 
him, lean on his bosom, and, without giving way 
to reasoning, believe he will make every affliction 
work for good ? Surely we ought to trust him at 
all times — it is our privilege. Do not mistake me, 
I am not condemning a religion that may be felt; 
I would only prove to you, that faith is the root of 
joy, and not joy the root of faith; and that you 
ought not to cast away your shield of faith, be- 
cause you have not, for the present moment, much 
joy. When we are beset with various trials, vari- 
rious temptations, and various suggestions ; such 
as, thou wilt surely fall, such a temptation will 
prove too hard for thee, &c. " My grace is suf- 
ficient for thee," sakh the Lord — he who knows 
all your trials. Now, when by faith we embrace 
and rely on this promise, knowing he who is faith- 
ful will perform his word ; we are strengthened by 



( 192 ) 

a sweet peace, and well-grounded confidence and 
hope, that shall never make us ashamed. And, 
while we continue to live by this faith, we more 
than conquer, whether our joy be little or great. — 
This is our shield, and God is pleased by afflic- 
tions to try and prove this faith, that it may burn 
the brighter, and be more conspicuous to all. Not 
that he is displeased with us for any thing, nor as a 
punishment ; but, whom the Lord loveth he chas- 
teneth. I believe this is often your case ; and he 
calls upon you by his word, a not to cast away 
your confidence, which hath great recompense of 
reward. And yet a little while, and he that shall 
come will come, and will not tarry." 

"With respect to sanctification, I mean the instan- 
taneous work,you have the word of a God — " I will 
sprinkle clean water upon you, and ye shall be 
clean, from all your filthiness, and from all your 
idols will I cleanse you." Here is a full, free pro- 
mise. Do you seek this salvation by faith, or by 
works ? If by faith, then you have no need to tar- 
ry for worthiness or fitness, but come now, just as 
you are. You must embrace the promise, believe 
it, hang upon it, rejoice in it as your own, trusting 
God to perform it. Soon as you cast your soul on 
him by faith, he will seal the blessing on your 
heart. May he reveal these things to you by his 
Spirit, and fill you with all his fulness, prays your 
affectionate friend and cousin, 

H. A. ROE. 



C i? 3 j 

LETTER XIV. 

(To the same.) 

Nantwich, April 20, 1779. 
Bear Cousin, 

YOU are quite mistaken — you do riot try my 
patience at all ; but you are made a means of hum- 
bling my soul before God, when you think me ca- 
pable of answering in a proper manner the ques- 
tions you ask : And yet, as far as the Lord has 
taught me, I am willing to communicate. I be- 
lieve your eye is single : You are a child of God, 
and an heir of glory — a well-beloved of the eternal 
Trinity. For you the Father gave his only Son : 
Jesus the Saviour bled for you : and the blessed 
Spirit hath applied the blood of sprinkling to the 
pardon of your sins, and the comfort of your soul 
in all your various trials. I account it no strange 
thing that you should be assaulted like your hea- 
venly Master, with that suggestion, "If thou be 
the Son of God" : — -Surely you will not give way to 
reasoning, because satan accosts you as he did the 
incarnate God. No : rather take comfort, for he 
that had no sin was tempted in this very point, like 
as you are. A hypocrite may boast, he is never 
tempted, has no doubts or fear ; but, a child of 
God (some rare cases excepted) is seldom long to- 
gether unassaulted t>y our vigilant adversary, who 
takes every possible method and opportunity to at- 
tack our confidence in the Lord ; and to work upon 
all that remains of the carnal mind, or of unbe- 
lief : but he can only tempt ; he cannot force us to 
give way either to sin or unbelief. Neither think 
it strange that you are not inwardly as holy as you 
ought to be : Every child of God feels the same, 
till fully renewed in love, by the power of the Holy 



( 194 ) 

Ghost. Till then he has faith, but it is often mix- 
ed with unbelief:^ — he has love; but, though he 
loves God above all things, yet the love of self, 
and of creature comforts, often steal in; he has 
a blessed measure of true humility ; and yet, he 
is constrained to acknowledge frequently with tears, 

" Cursed pride, that busy sin, 
Spoils all that I perform." 

His patience and resignation are not perfect :— - his 
will is not fully subdued to God at all times, nor 
are his affections and desires wholly spiritual : — ; 
The spirit of God does visit, but does not dwell : 
does, at times, ravish the soul with delight, thereby 
wooing it to cast away unbelief, and open the door 
to receive all the precious mind of Jesus-^-all the 
stamp of love divine. Now when a soul is obedi- 
ent to the voice of God, when it does open the 
door and grasp the promises of holiness in the 
hand of faith ; he w r ill come into that soul, and 
plant his own nature there : Then, when perfected 
in love, faith becomes constant, and unmixed with 
unbelief. Love takes full possession of the soul, 
and humility, unmixed with pride, lays him at the 
Saviour's feet. His constant faith and perfect 
love, now bring forth perfect patience and resigna- 
tion. His deep rooted humility having laid all 
self at the Saviour's feet, his will is now quite sub- 
ject, and all his language is, 

" All's alike to me, so I 
In my Lord may live and die, 55 

But, even this state is consistent with many igno- 
rances, weaknesses, and infirmities ; — with many 
temptations, trials, crosses and bodily afflictions : 
and, on account of these, our joy may at times be 
small : Yet, our faith may be perfect, pid our 




( 195 ) 

peace undisturbed. I believe our faith is ofterr 
made manifest by following God blindfold ; (if I 
may be allowed the expression,) I mean, when our 
'ignorance and blindness cannot account for his pro- 
vidential dispensations ; when we are beset with 
trials, and see no way to escape. In this case, 
faith says, " It is the Lord, let him do what seem- 
eth him good." Being confident of this one thing, 
" what I know not now, I shall know hereafter ;" 
I will trust in my God, and not be afraid, for he is 
my all. 

I have not time, room, or expression, to tell a 
thousandth part of the goodness of my God to my 
soul* He is ever with me, and assures my heart, 
"all that I have is thine." All my desires are 
satisfied in him : — I live in him T and walk in him, 
and he is my God. He is with me in sickness and 
in health — at home and abroad— -in public and in 
private. In reading or writing I feel his presence : 
And O ! when I am bowed before his throne, he 
lets down a heaven of communicated bliss ! Lan- 
guage fails when I speak of his love ! O may 
my every breath speak his praise ! I remain your 
unworthy friend, but happy sister, 

H. A. ROE. 



LETTER XV. 

(To Miss Salmon.) 

Malpas, June 16, 1779. 
My Dear Friend, 

HOW shall I praise my God for his goodness, 
his infinite, his stupendous love ? O how he heap- 
eth his benefits upon me, and maketh every other 



( 196 ) 

blessing sweet* by the gift of himself! Would 
any thing the world calls great or good, be any 
thing to me without my God ? Ah ! no r no : every 
thing most desirable is hateful to my sonl, where- 
in I cannot taste, or feel, or see something of my 
blessed Lord: but, all glory be to him, he is my 
all in all things. Help me to love this only lovely 
dearest object of my wishes. Let him, my dear 
sister, hs our Lord and King for ever. Yes, Lord,, 
take our hearts — 

(( Manage the wheels by thy command, 
And govern every spring. 5 ' 

How sweet is the yoke of Jesus ! O how gentle, how 
tender, how compassionate his care ! how hath he 
borne you and I, as weak and helpless lambs in his 
arm, carried us in his bosom, and defended us 
from the fowler's snare ! . Eternal Lord God, thou 
indwelling Trinity, whom truly our hearts do love, 
accept the gratitude words cannot speak : In silent 
adoration we adore thee, overwhelmed at thy ama- 
zing grace ! I cannot utter, my dear friend, the 
sweet feelings of my heart, or tell you how divine 
a union my spirit feels with yours. O may you 
now, and henceforth, prove all that Jesus can be- 
stow ! How much is that ? Words cannot tell you : 
but yours it is, through the merit of his blood ! 

I intended to begin my letter with thanks for 
rour love and kindness to me at Chester ; but I 
was led to the precious fountain of all comfort, 
and when I had once begun his mercy's theme, I 
could not break off! I bear, however, a grateful 
sense of the affectionate regard you manifested : 
and, though to tell you so is all I can do, my Lord 
will surely reward. My love to dear Miss Bennet, 
and all that family : and to all where you are. I 
bear them all on my heart before God. I love 
them all ; and if they knew how Jesus loves-them, 



( 1W ) 

they would not keep back their hearts from him.— * 
I got safe to this place, and am treated very kindly 
by this loving family : but O how I feel for those 
who love not God ! My dear Miss B. is as open 
and free as before : My soul cleaves to her, and I 
have great hopes. Pray for her, and for your ever 
affectionate H. A. ROE. 



LETTER XVI. 

(To Miss Loxdale.) 
V 

Nantwichy June 30, 1779* 
Dear Sister, 

MY dear friend's letter was indeed a plea- 
sure and a blessing to me ; and my Lord's great 
goodness to you is a fresh motive to love and praise 
him. But, fresh motives of this kind are no new 
things to me : I am ever discovering instances of 
his goodness that fill me with wonder and astonish- 
ment, and cause me to exclaim with holy David, 
u Lord, what is man that thou art so mindful of 
him ?" Great things, indeed, my dear sister, hath 
the Lord done for you, and for your unworthy 
friend : and yet, O stupendous grace ! we have 
only received a drop out of the ocean of his love : 
an endless prospect, and a maze of bliss lie yet be- 
fore us ? — opening beauties, and suth lengths and 
breadths, and depths and heights, as thought can- 
not fathom, or mind of man conceive ! It is, my 
friend, the fulness of the Triune God, in which we 
may bathe, and plunge, and sink, till lost and swal- 
lowed up in the ever growing, overflowing ocean 
of delights. His fulness ; O what is it ! shall we 
17 # 



( 198 ) 

ever fathom it ? — ever know a ten thousandth part ? 
Ah no ! a ten thousandth part of that effulgence 
we could not bear to know and live ! Nay, and 
when disembodied, through the revolving ages of 
eternity,! am persuaded we shall only seem beginning 
to know his fulness of love. What thoughts are 
these ! when I enter into them, as into a labyrinth, 
they almost overcome my natural powers. O how 
very little of his revealed glory can this earthen 
vessel contain ! but, a time is hastening on, (and I 
eagerly wait for its approach) when, no longer im- 
prisoned in clay, our eyes shall be strengthened to 
see him as he is ; — see him for ourselves, and 
bask for ever in his smiles. Yes, we shall be with 
Jesus, and behold his glory. He will reveal to us 
also, as much as we can bear of the fulness of his 
Father's glory ,* and we shall be with Father, Son, 
and Spirit, filled to all eternity ! But I have been 
led farther than I intended : I must return. 

Permit me to ask, my dear friend, what are 
your ideas, what is your opinion, or what your 
experience of inward, instantaneous sanctifica- 
tion ; whereby the root, the inbemg of sin is de- 
stroj/ed ? I do not mean, or allude, to a state of 
angelic or Adamic, but a Christian perfection ; a 
destruction of every temper contrary to love ; — a 
state consistent with many temptations of the devil, 
if our heart repel those temptations, and our will 
do not embrace or yield to them : for that cannot 
be sin, in which our will has no part. Thus it was 
wi h Jesus : u in him was no sin, yet he was 
tempted in all points as we are :" Before his pure 
eyes did that enemy display all the kingdoms of the 
world, and the glory of them : — to his spotless 
soul he suggested distrusting doubts, and pre- 
sumptuous expectations; but in the Son of God 
they found no place. Again ; what I mean is a 
state consistent with a growth in grace ; for Jesus ? 



( 199 ) 

though always pure, " increased in wisdom and 
stature, and in favour with God and man." Is not 
such a state expressed and described in the thir- 
teenth of the first book of Corinthians ? and is it 
not commanded in these gracious words, "Re- 
joice evermore, pray without ceasing, and in every 
thing give thanks ?" Does the apostle add, " This 
is the will of God concerning you ?" and after 
praying, "Now the God of peace sanctify you 
wholly :" does he not pray, that " your whole 
spirit, soul and body, (after they are so sanctified) 
may be preserved blameless to the second coming 
of our Lord Jesus Christ ?" Then follows the 
glorious promise, "Faithful is he that calleth you, 
who also will do it," And is not the same thing 
promised in the sweet passage you named ; " I 
will sprinkle clean water upon you, and you shall 
be clean : from all your filthiness, and from all 
your idols will I cleanse you," &c. And again, 
did he not " swear to our father Abraham, that he 
would grant unto us, that we, being delivered out 
of the hands of our enemies, might serve him with- 
out fear, in holiness and righteousness before him 
all the days of our life." By the state I weakly at- 
tempt to describe, I mean, that degree of humble 
love, which excludes every temper contrary there- 
to ; and faith that excludes the remains of unbe- 
lief, and every tormenting fear ; w For he that fear- 
eth is not made perfect in love." It is "fellow- 
ship with the* Father, and with his Son Jesus 
Christ," through the Spirit, by whose abiding wit- 
ness we can say, "Abba, Father — my Lord and 
my God," with an unwavering tongue. 

1 know this precious gospel salvation is even de- 
rided by some, and exploded by many : Perhaps 
you may have conversed with some of these ; and 
not have met with many who have dared to speak 
for God in this respect ; some of my expressions 



( 200 ) 

may therefore appear odd, or unusual ; but, compare 
them with scripture, and mention with freedom 
any of them you wish me to explain. As I know 
your situation, you will excuse the liberty I take in 
advising you not to meddle with opinions : these 
insensibly eat out of the soul the precious life of 
God. Dispute not with any; or, if they seek 
hurtful disputations, it is a good way to propose 
prayer. But it may be well, as much as may be, 
to avoid the company of those who love vain con- 
troversy. Endeavour after a calm recollected spi- 
rit — -a heartfelt union with a holy God. Sweet 
truth — God is love, and love is the Christian's all. 
Love in us is his nature imparted : it is the fulfill- 
ing of the law, the perfect law of liberty. Whoso- 
ever "lovethhis brother," hath fulfilled the law 
to his neighbour : and he who " loveth the Lord 
his God with all his heart, and soul, and mind, 
and strength," hath fulfilled the law to him also. 
To such "his commandments are not grievous ;" 
not a task— a wearisome burden, but a delight ; 
u They are ways of pleasantness — they are paths 
of peace." And as we are under a law of love to 
God ; so God, our God in Christ, is under a cove- 
nant of love ; in which is made over to us all he 
is and all he has to give : his every attribute \ his 
wisdom to guide and teach ; his power to protect, 
help, and strengthen ; his faithfulness, his truth, 
his mercy, &c. all sealed over, and secured by co- 
venant promise and covenant blood. 

O my dear sister, what a blessed portion is ours ! 
Let us determine to prove it all. We may ; I 
trust we shall, and together praise in endless day, 
the great Three One. I am ever yours in him. 

H. A. ROE, 



( 201 ) 
LETTER XVH. 

(To the same.) 

Macclesfield, Aug. 4, 1775. 

I THANK you, my dear sister, for your last, 
and would have written sooner, but a violent rheu- 
matic pain in my head prevented me, I clearly sec 
in your experience a deepening of the work of 
God, He is preparing your heart for his perfect 
love : he is emptying you of self, that you may be 
swallowed up in him : he is crucifying you to the 
world, that you may live to him, and for him 
alone : he dicovers to you the beauties of holiness, 
that your soul and all its powers may be captivated 
thereby, and enlarged to ask and receive all his 
goodness waits to give. It is no marvel that satan 
shoots his fiery darts, and employs his strongest 
batteries to prevent this work of grace : he ever 
did, and he ever will. This precious salvation en- 
tirely overturns his kingdom in the believer's heart : 
he hath no more place, no more power : he finds no 
inward evil now (in those thus saved) to close in 
with his temptations. His every dart is now re- 
pelled ; quick-sighted love discovers all his snares, 
and armed with the strength of Omnipotence, we 
more than conquer ! 

The temptations you find, are the same I as 
followed with, when the fountains of the great deep 
of inbred corruption were discovered to my view : 
Yes, I experienced them all, and ten times more. 

Mr. Fletcher's Polemical Essay, especially in 
his address to imperfect believers, seeking Chris- 
tian perfection, was made a great blessing to me. 
This, with Mr. Wesley's Plain Account, answered 



( 202 ) 

every objection, every doubt; and I earnestly re- 
commend them to your serious perusal* These 
will lead you to see, we are sanctified, as well as 
justified, by faith alone, and not for our merits, 
fitness, or deservings ; but faith lays hold of the 
blood of Christ, as the procuring cause of our ho- 
liness, and which alone cleanseth from all sin.— * 
This blood is all-sufficient ; — as prevailing now 
as it ever will be. What then does the believer 
(hungering and thirsting after righteousness, or in- 
ward purity) wait for ? The promise is, they 
shall be filled. Why delay ? We may come just 
as we are ; and if so, we may come this moment. 
It is said, Acts xxvi. 18, we are "sanctified by 
faith in Jesus :" and the work in that verse is plain- 
ly distinguished from justification, or the forgive- 
ness of sins, both being there clearly promised. — 
If then it be by faith alone, it must be also instan- 
taneous, in the same manner as our pardon was. — 
Did we not receive the one in a moment, by and 
in the act of believing ? And why should we stum- 
ble at coming the same way for the other? "By 
grace -are ye saved, through faith," in all the dif- 
ferent degrees of that salvation, which we <ian re- 
ceive in the body. If by grace, then it is no more 
of works, and if not by works, we need wait for 
none : — we may come just as we are, yea, just now. 
May the Lord, while you read these lines, open 
the windows of heaven, and fill your spirit with 
his pure love. Do you thirst ? Behold ! rivers of 
living waters gushing out of your Redeemer's 
wounds — water that will wash your inbred sin 
away. Is not the Holy Ghost waiting to apply the 
efficacious blood, and make you vvhite as snow ?— • 
Hovers he not over you t — Ka cks he not even 
now at the door of your heart ? O let your inmost 
spirit cry, 



( 203 ) 

u Come in, come in, thou heavenly guest, 
Nor hence again remove ; 
But sup with me, and let the feast 
Be everlastjjjg love." 

Amen, Lord Jesus, answer the prayer of thy child 
— be it unto her as her soul desireth — fill her heart, 
and fill it ?iow. I feel for the trials of your pre- 
sent situation, but the sweet love of Jesus shall 
bear you above all. Take no thought for the mor- 
row, but momentarily live to God and for God, 
and nothing will be able to harm you. I am, my 
dear friend, yours in the best of bonds, 

H. A. ROE* 



LETTER XVIII. 

(To Mr. Robert Roe, upon the nature of faith, and in what 
sense the act of man.) 

Macclesfield, Aug. 12, 1779. 
Dear Cousin, 

I CAN still see all your doubts and scruples 
in no other light, than as temptations and sugges- 
tions from an enemy, who is, and ever will be 
watching and endeavouring to break your peace. 
And, though I believe you will be brought through 
them all to the haven of bliss ; yet, you permit him 
to rob you of much comfort, which you might en- 
joy ; and he would rather employ you in answering 
his lying suggestions, than that you should be mo- 
mentarily looking up to, and depending on Jesus 
for all you want. For my own part, if it were not 
to answer your queries, I should never enter into 
the nice distinctions you do. I have much more to 



( 204 ) 

learn myself, and am convinced many would solve 
your scruples much better than I can : Indeed, to 
speak properly, no one can do it;- — it is the work 
of God. Yet, I am ready to impart what himself 
hath freely given* But, I beseech you to read my 
letters with prayer, and beg of God that he will at- 
tend every observation with the light and blessing 
of his Spirit. 

You say, u The work of justification is greatly 
t)bscured by many, and you do not exclude me — 
that I tell you, sometimes it is by faith, sometimes 
by works." So do S*t. Paul and St. James, yet 
they are strictly consistent with themselves and 
each other. But I sometimes think you under- 
stand by works a meritorious condition : I never 
mean any such thing. When I speak of the works 
God requires in a seeker, or believer, I only mean 
a co-operation with, or using the grace given to us. 
I believe, God the Father loved all mankind in 
their sins, freely and unconditionally, or he had ne- 
ver given his only begotten Son. And it was an 
unconditional promise, " The seed of the woman 
shall bruise the serpent's head." God the Son al- 
so, loved us freely and unconditionally, when he left 
his Father's glory, and became man ; — lived, died, 
and rose again, for us. I believe too, God the 
Holy Ghost, unconditionally (with respect to any 
thing we can do) " enlightens every man that Com- 
eth into the world." But then, these things being 
done for us, by and through the free grace of the 
Eternal Trinity ; we are required to use the light 
given. 

If the Spirit of God convinces of sin, which is 
his work, we are required to forsake it : and there 
is always power to do it communicated. This for- 
saking of sin is an act of man, and a condition ; 
for, u put away the evil of your doings," saith God, 
"from among you, and cease to do evil :" Yet, this 



( 205 ) 

not a meritorious work. Again : If the Spirit 
point the guilty, heavy-laden sinner to the Lamb 
of God, shows the all-sufficiency of his atonement, 
and that the promises are made to such lost sinners 
as he is, who are weary of the burden of sin, that 
he has a right to come, because all are invited : and 
that "now is the accepted time" with God, 
"and now is the day of salvation :" — that no price, 
no worthiness is required ; but he may come with- 
out money, and be forgiven freely ; when these 
things are revealed by God, which is his work, 
then it is that we are commanded to act faith. We 
are to believe the record true ; embrace it, rely 
upon it, and venture our guilty souls on the pro- 
mises made through a bleeding Saviour. It is af- 
ter this act of faith, not before it, God gives the 
witness of the Spirit. Do you understand me ? 
The witness, or the seal of the Spirit, is God's 
gift, not our act : given to all who do act faith on 
Jesus, and the promise made through him. But 
it is not given till faith be acted. If we, as peni- 
tents, had no power thus to act faith ; how would 
God be just in declaring — " He that believeth not 
shall be damned ?" 

With respect to works after justification, can any 

one retain his confidence in God without them ? 

Has he any foundation in the scripture to do so ? 
God absolutely requires that we should do, do, do, 
(as you say) and be, be, be : Not in a meritorious 
sense, but as fruits of the law of love, written in 
our hearts, acceptable and well-pleasing through 
Jesus Christ, and with every injunction he gives 
power to perform it. The power given is of grace, 
and the use of that power is the act of man. — 
Again -.When the Lord, by his Spirit, reveals our 
inbred sin, and points us to the all-cleansing blood, 
and to the promises to circumcise our heart, &c. it 
is his work wrought in us freely. But, when this 

18 



( 206 ) 

light is given, we are to embrace the promises v and 
act faith upon them. God hath said, I will do it. 
Let me ask, do you believe he will do it in you ? 
Hold fast that faith then, for the promise is sure, 
it cannot fail : and God's time is now. Only be- 
lieve : God at this moment requires an act of faith 
in you : He holds out the promise*, and bids you 
believe. But you will say, I do not feel the bless- 
ing : Poor Thomas : — because thou hast not seen^ 
thou wilt not believe : "Blessed are they who have 
not seen, and yet have believed. But you ask, 
44 What must I believe?" I answer, that God is 
faithful — that he can and will, in a moment, give 
you what now you do not feel : Nay, you will not 
feel it till after you have believed. If I had given, 
you an apple, it would not be faith to believe I had 
given it : but, if I had promised to give you one, 
and to give it you instantly on your requesting it ; 
if you then believed my promise, and took me at 
my word, though you did not yet see or handle the 
apple, this would be your act of faith in me. But 
how much more immutable the promise of a God ! 
You cannot believe him in vain: Even suppose 
(which is seldom the case) you thus act faith a day 
or two, or longer, before you receive the witness ; 
shall you be the worse for it ? Nay, but far better 
for having believed : this faith will bring power 
into your soul, and you will sensibly feel what you 
never felt before : and soon you will prove the Spi- 
rit's inward testimony, that it is done unto you ac- 
cording to your faith. But you will say, "How 
is the work instantaneous, if I must wait a day or 
two ?" I answer, the work is done the moment you 
believe ; though the witness of the Spirit (which 
is not your faith, but the gift of God) be not fully 
given till afterwards. "He that believeth" (the 
promise saith) "shall be saved" — from guilt, from 
inbred sin, and into glory. 



( 207 ) 

It appears to me, you labour under another mis- 
take : — You expect in being saved from sin, to be 
also delivered from temptation, short-comings, 
weaknesses and infirmities ; b\it these are insepara- 
ble from humanity. We shall never have a per- 
fect body till the resurrection : of consequence, 
shall be liable to a thousand infirmities*. We shall 
never have perfect knowledge in this life : and shall 
therefore ever be, liable to errors in judgment, &c. 
The perfect law of Adam would condemn these 
things : but we are under the covenant of grace ; 
or, in other words, under the law of love to Christ ; 
whose blood every moment pleads for these things. 
May the God of peace and love teach and guide 
you into his perfect will, prays your affectionate 
cousin, 

H. A. ROE. 



LETTER XIX. 

(To the Rev. J. Wesley.) 

Macclesfield, Oct. 15, 1779. 
Rev. Sir, 

SINCE I received your last,I have had a return 
of the pain in my side, an oppression of my lungs, 
and sometimes (which I never had before) such a 
yellowness on my skin, that I apprehended it 
would turn to the jaundice. After eating or drink- 
ing, I was thrown into violent heats, and afterwards 
into cold, fainting sweats. Then I was either in 
great pain at my stomach, or else so sleepy that I 
could not keep my eyes open for a considerable 
time. But blessed be God ! I found it a sweet 
affliction; for never did I find Christ so precious ; 



( 208 ) 

my evidence so clear: my will so unreservedly 
swallowed up in his, nor the intercourse so truly 
open betwixt him and my believing soul. Hence 
I loved, and praised him for every pain; and, had 
it been his adorable will to have called me hence, 
how gladly should I have obeyed the joyful sum- 
mons, and haste to the presence of my beloved, 
my friend, my all ! But seeing he still spares me a 
little longer, I embrace his will and bless the mer- 
ciful hand which brought me down, and hath rais- 
ed riie up again. I see an open field, a boundless 
prospect of new delights lies open before me. I 
see and feel that God hath engaged all his attri- 
butes in my behalf: and in his strength I fear no 
cross, no shame, no enemies ; for my leader, my 
captain, my king is the Lord of hosts. His glory 
is my only aim, and my only happiness. O pre 
cious thought ! O bliss, not imaginary, but real ! 
not fading, but everlasting; not decreasing, but 
ever growing ! O vast abyss of unfathomable love ! 
And as this is my portion, so dear Sir, it is yours 
also. We experience it now, and shall for ever 
know it : On these accounts, how easy is the sight 
of faith ! how delightful the labours of love ! and 
how welcome the cross we bear for him who is our 
life, our strength, and our salvation ! 

Dear Mr. S. is still unable to go into his Circuit, 
and I fear he will never be much better. Cold 
bathing seems to do him most good ; but he is very 
ill, especially in the mornings. His grief at not 
being able to travel is, I believe, a great hindrance 
to his recovery. My soul feels great nearness to 
him ; for I believe he is in a peculiar sense, belo- 
ved of God, and a faithful steward of his grace. 

I hope, Sir, you will remember him at the throne 
of grace, and that God may either restore him to 
his former usefulness, or else help him to be per- 
fectly resigned to his adorable will; for you know, 



( 209 ) 

ttear Sir, that to have a soul all on fire for doing 
good, kept back and hindered by sickness, weak- 
ness, or other bodily infirmity, must be a great 
temptation to the contrary. But as there are none 
so weak as myself, and, of consequence, who stand 
more in need of divine assistance, I hope you will 
not cease to mention me in your prayers. In so 
doing you will greatly oblige, Rev. Sir, your very 
unworthy, but most affectionate friend and servant, 

H. A. ROE. 



LETTER XX. 

(To the same.)' 

Dec. 11, lT7p. 

Rev. and Dear Sir, 

I SHOULD not have been silent thus long 
had not my dearest Lord seen good to afflict my 
body. I have lately been confined, and am just 
recovering from a sore throat. It was not ulcera- 
ted,but attended with a fever. Numbers in this town, 
or neighbourhood, have been ill, and several have 
died ; four in one family within a month. I ap- 
plied hartshorn to my throat, and found benefit 
from it. I am now, I bless God, much better. I 
have reason to praise him for every affliction ; for 
all he permits does work together for my good. I 
do love my Lord with all my heart. 

"All my capacious powers can wish, 
Jn him doth richly meet ; 
Nor to my eyes is light so dear, 
Or friendship half so sweet." 
18 * 






£ 210 ) 

N o, no, all the creation can boast, \s poor and mean 
compared with him Tlove. In him I feel a con- 
stant heaven, and my soul truly sits loose to all 
besides. I have victory, through his grace, over 
all things inward and outward, that are contrary 
to his will. I have at times various temptations : 
but they find no place in me, nor at any time dis- 
tress or bring me into bondage. I have, (glory be 
to God,) the inward testimony of his spirit, that I 
please him, and that he dwelleth in me. My body 
and soul are both the Lord's ; and I earnestly de- 
sire that his whole will may be done in me and by 
me. I am a sacrifice offered up, through Jesus, 
my adorable High -Priest ; and am determined, 
through grace divine, ever to remain so. I am a 
pilgrim in a strange country, and all my treasure is 
above. 

I am travelling as fast as the wings of time will 
bear me forward, to my celestial country ; though 
thorns and snares, and gins, sometimes beset my 
path ; yet, my feet are shod, my sandals on, and I 
trample on them. Though the arrows of the 
archer are flying, I have a shield that turns aside the 
iiery darts. I have a shadow from the heat, and a 
refuge from the storm. I live upon the food of 
angels, and drink largely of the fountain of the 
water of life. His ways are ways of pleasantness, 
and all his paths are perfect peace. How great is 
the love wherewith he hath loved me ! O how 
large his grace to the most unworthy! a Bless the 
Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me bless his 
holy name." I have heard from cousin J — R — , 
and his soul prospers ; blessed be God ! I hope, 
dear Sir, you ever do and ever will remember, at 
the throne of grace, your most unworthy, but truly 
affectionate child in a precious Jesus, 

II. A. RO#. 



(x 211 ) 
LETTER XXI. 

(To Mr. Robert Roe.) 

Macclesfield, Jan. 14, HT8Q. 

Dear Cousin, 

I AM willing to answer any question, or 
write in any manner that will give your soul satis- 
faction ! — break any snare of the enemy, or, in any 
way whatsoever glorify God : but, I am often led to 
think you do not want information in your judgment 
respecting these things ; and therefore that your 
aim is to see how far I am, or am not, consistent 
with myself in my different letters. Were many 
people to peruse what I write to you, they would 
think it very presuming in me to argue points of doc- 
trine, or experience with you, who are intended to 
be a teacher in Israel : yet, you so draw me in, that 
I dare not refuse. I rejoice to hear that your soul 
is more happy in God than when you wrote before. 
O live near to him, and press forward, and all is 
yours ! I would again repeat, trample upon all 
that is past, and come this moment to Jesus by 
faith alone, for present, instantaneous, perfect love. 



" Ready are you to receive ; 
Readier is your God to give." 



But I must hasten to consider your objections.— 
You ask, if I, u previous to justification, forsake 
all sin, and have power to keep myself from evil, 
by the grace I receive from the convincing Spirit 
of God — what need of his free justifying or 
sanctifying grace ? On the other hand, if I offend 
(say you) in one point, not being faithful to the 
grace of conviction : am I never afterwards to be 
accepted, even by the gospel-charter ? — How agrees 



( 212 ) 

IT * 

this (you go on to ask) with trampling, as you often 
bid me, on my worthiness and unworthiness,and co- 
ming by faith alone i" I would here put a few ques- 
tions to you, and I beseech you answer them to the 
Lord. Can your forsaking all sin now,(though it be 
pleasing to God, and what he requires and com- 
mands) cancel your old sins, or obtain forgiveness for 
what is past ? — Have you no need then, of the free, 
justifying grace of God, to be received by faith 
alone ? — On the other hand, if you resist the con- 
vincing Spirit of God, and continue in sin, contra- 
ry to his strivings and drawings ; will he continue 
his operations, and, in spite of you, work that faith 
in you which alone justifies the ungodly? Yet, 
consistent with these things, you may, through the 
power of temptation, and your evil, unregenerate 
nature, have been overcome and given way, not be- 
ing faithful to the grace of light and conviction : 
and yet, you may still come, hating the sin you 
have committed, and burdened with your past un- 
faithfulness, trampling on your present worthiness or 
unworthiness, come just as you are — a poor prodi- 
gal, a condemned malefactor to Jesus, and receive 
freely, by faith alone, the mercy and the pardon 
you no ways deserve. 

Again, you are now a believer, but feel the re- 
mains of a carnal nature. It is your happy privi- 
lege, through the Spirit to mortify the deeds of 
the body, or the motions of the body of sin, 
that still works in your members : This is 
pleasing unto God, and what he requires,, as 
fruits of that faith, whereby he hath promised 
you shall be able to quench every fiery dart of 
the devil. But, supposing you do this without 
once being unfaithful to the grace of justifi- 
cation, (and alas ! very few, if any, can truly 
plead they have been so) will this cleanse your 
heart from the root of inbred sin ? Ah no ! And 



( 213 ) 

have you no need then of the free, sanctifying 
grace of God to be received by faith alone ? If, 
on the other hand, you are willingly, wilfully, or 
habitually unfaithful to grace given, are led captive 
and overcome by your inbred sin or outward temp- 
tations : if you resist the teachings of the Spirit of 
God, who would point you to the all-cleansing 
blood, and do not earnestly seek to go on unto per- 
fection, neither desire holiness, will he come forci- 
bly, and take possession of your heart, and dwell 
there, whether you will or no ? Yet, consistent 
with what I have urged, though you may be deeply 
conscious you have not been strictly faithful to 
justifying grace ; nay, through surprise, or temp- 
tation^ you have been vanquished, and foiled and 
overcome by inward corruption ; yet, coming self- 
condemned and humbled in the dust to Jesus y 
will he refuse freely to forgive , yea, and (if you 
earnestly desire it, and come by faith alone to re- 
ceive it) to cleanse you from all unrighteousness ? 

You ask, how am I to learn the difference be- 
tween sin and temptation ? I own there is some 
difficulty here ; i mean, in discerning between the 
motions of inbred sin, w^hile it yet remains, and 
the temptations of satan. Nothing but the Spirit 
of God, by his inward teaching, can make it clear 
to you. But this we know, whether our tempta- 
tions are from our evil hearts when unrenewed, or 
from the enemy ; if our will stand firm for God, 
and oppose all that would rise, or is offered con- 
trary to his will ; he is so far from accounting us 
guilty of sin, that he approves and will reward the 
victory". But O rest not without inward purity ; 
and when your heart is cleansed from all sin, you 
will see more fully the nature of temptation. 

Pray let us know if you are likely soon to get 
ordained ; and if you are, whether you will accept 
the curacy now offered you. I hope you had a 



( 214 ) 



re- 



profitable time with Mr. Wesley. I had a p 
cious season when he was here; and I think 1 ne- 
ver saw him so full of the Spirit of his Master — 
so full of God. May the Lord fill your earthen 
vessel with all his fulness, and keep you to redemp- 
tion's day, prays your affectionate cousin and friend, 

H. A. ROE. 



LETTER XXII. 

(To Miss Loxdale.) 

Macclesfield, May 20, 1780. 

My very Dear Friend, 

HOW agreeable was the reception of your 
affectionate letter : but 1 am very sorry to find 
your health is so indifferent. My dear friend, let 
me advise you to take all the care you can of your 
body, for it is not your own, but the Lord's. And 
I am fully convinced we have no right to trifle 
with the precious talent of health, which is given 
us to improve to the glory of our God. 

I every day experience fresh calls, and fresh mo- 
tives to praise and love our adorable Lord. Nor 
is my grateful heart least moved at the gracious 
tenderness of his dealings with my dear sister. — 
O my love, can you ever now distrust him for any 
thing? Surely such love hath destroyed unbelief 
for ever ;— Surely you can now put no limits to 
his power and faithfulness ; his grace — his willing- 
ness to save. O praise him and trust in him for 
ever. 

" Look for his perfect love, 
Look for his people's rest ; 
Hope to sit down with him above, 
And share thejnarriage feast. 5 * 



( 215 ) 

Yes; there I trust we. shall meet and rejoice toge- 
ther! — there we shall sing without weariness of 
body or soul, the wonders of his grace, and tell to 
all the listening heavenly throng, how rich, redeem- 
ing love, hath saved and ransomed, kept and pre- 
served, delivered and strengthened, and at last 
brought us safe where the wicked cease from trou- 
bling — where the weary are at rest. 

I rejoice that you are still pressing on to the at- 
tainment of that holiness which God calls you to. 
Only come by simple faith, and you shall soon ex- 
perience that sweet rest, 

" From self and sin set free." 

I look upon this blessing as consisting, not so much 
in overwhelming joy, as humbling love: though 
joy, as an effect, will surely follow after. With 
me it was thus : I sunk into my own nothingness, 
and w r as humbled in the dust : — Emptied of self 
and self-dependence, 1 submitted to be saved by 
grace. My depth of weakness was laid open to 
my view, but I cast myself on Jesus as my strength : 
emptied of all, I plunged by a simple act of faith, 
into his fulness of love, and found him all my sal- 
vation, and all my desire. When satan suggested, 
thou wilt soen lose what thou hast attained : — 
I told him, let my Lord see to that : " He that 
keepeth Israel, neither slumbereth nor sleep- 
eth:" — Jesus is mine, with all his strength and 
fulness ; and his grace is sufficient. I think, my 
dear friend, if you expect thus to be laid at the 
Saviour's feet, in humblest love and self-abasement, 
the temptation, that the blessing is something 
greater than you will be able to bear, will vanish, 
or at least lose all its force : and, being thus hum- 
bled, thus united to Jesus, hang momenta: r.y de- 
pending on him, and fear not but he will be you* 



C 216 ) 

keeper. Faith is the bond of union, atid in your 
union with him lies all your strength. He will water 
you every moment : yea, he will dwell in you as a 
well of water springing up into everlasting life. — 
He is himself all you want : He is holiness ; — he is 
Heaven ; and he Is yours ! My soul longs for you. 

w O may you gain perfection's height, 
And into nothing fall ! 
Be less than nothing in your sight, 
And Christ be all in all" 

You will, you surely will ! Nay, I have no doubt 
but you will soon prove this; for the Lord enlar- 
ges my heart in your behalf, and I trust your next 
will convey the happy tidings. 

The Lord is peculiarly gracious to your unwor- 
thy friend, and condescends to bless my small la- 
bours for him. In visiting the sick I found a 
great increase of love to God, -and the souls for 
whom Jesus died. At some places, the neighbours 
coming in, the power of the Lord has been very 
present ; and some of them, who before were as eep 
in sin, are crying out, " What must we do to be 
saved ?" and so many fresh ones are sending to 
me daily, and begging I will call upon them, that 
it seems as if my employment would soon be too 
great for my bodily strength; but, if he calls me to 
the work, he will give strength for it. My one de- 
sire is to spend and be spent for him. Our pre- 
sent maid has a deep concern upon her mind, and I 
trust, will not rest short of pardon. She who has 
left us retains her peace, and walks uprightly. I 
cannot tell you the grateful feelings of my heart on 
this account. I thank you for your kind intention 
in the affair you mention : Hope my God will re- 
ward every token of your undeserved love to your 
very luiworthv, but sincere friend in him we love, 

H. A. ROE. 



c «i* ) 

LETTER XXIII. 

(To the same.) 

Macclesfield, Nov. 2, 1780. 
My Dear Friend, 

I REJOICE to find by the contents of your 
last, that you are pressing on to the attainment of 
that fulness which God calls you to enjoy : and I 
trust you will soon experience that blessed rest — 
from self and sin set free. The suggestion, that 
this blessing will be more than you can bear, is ap- 
parently from an enemy :— Ah no ! but it will en- 
able you to bear all things. If you expect to be 
overwhelmed with exceeding great joy when you 
receive this, I think you are not expecting it in 
the way it is generally given. I look upon joy as 
an effect, or a fruit, and not the blessing itself. — 
With me it was thus : I was humbled and self- 
emptied, and Jesus became my all in all ! I felt my- 
self all weakness, (yea, as I never did before) and 
he was all my strength : — / all ignorance, he my 
wisdom : — / all nothingness, he all fulness : — /all 
helplessness, he omnipotence. I flew from myself, 
and escaped to Jesus : He received me graciously, 
freely, without money, without price, without wor- 
thiness, or faithfulness, and became all my salva- 
tion, and all my desire : Humbled in lowest abase- 
ment at his boundless condescension, and filled with 
love, I felt that God was all and in all to me. 

If the enemy were to suggest, though you were 
to feel this, you could not retain it : remember, you 
receive the blessing that it may keep you. You 
have only to hang momentarily dependent on Je- 
sus, and he will be your keeper. Faith is the bond 
of union, and in your union with him lies your 
strength. He will water you every moixlexit : yea, 

19 



( 218 ) 

he will be in you, as a well of water springing up 
unto everlasting life. Jesus himself is all you 
want : — He is holiness — he is heaven- — he is yours* 
O bring your polluted heart then, just as it is; and 
he will take full possession ! O come by simple 
faith! 

"Faith, mighty faith the promise sees, 
And looks to that alone ; 
Laughs at impossibilities, 
And cries, ( It shall be done.' M 

My state of health is better than it has been for 
some years ; but, glory be to God, not half so well 
as my better part ! Oh ! no ! — so plentiful, so rich 
is my Redeemer's love, that thought cannot fathom 
it : It seems but now beginning an eternity of bliss ! 
O how sweet the service of such a Master, such a 
God ! — how reasonable, how delightful all his 
paths I what solid, present peace !■— -what antepasts 
of heavenly joys, when we walk in communion 
with him. If we have any sorrow, any abiding 
doubts or fears ; surely it is because we know not, 
as fully as we may know, the nature of a God of 
love. When we suffer him to reveal to us what he 
is, the lovely discovery transforms us into his image, 
and dispels every thought but love. Beholding 
him, we are changed into the same image, from 
glory to glory, even by the Spirit of the Lord. 

My thirsty soul earnestly longs to know him 
more: but his love is unfathomable; — yet every 
day brings me fresh discoveries ! and I believe, 
what we are capable of receiving he will reveal 
to all who love him. Open then your heart :~ 
permit him, and he will give you such ravishing 
views of his beauty, as you never had before : — 
such views as will dissolve your heart in humble love, 
and fill your eyes with joyful tears. You will see 
and own,, 



C 219 ) 

" His every act pure blessing is ; 
His path unsullied light." 

May* what I now feel be communicated to your 
spirit, and God be your eternal portion, prays your 
affectionate sister and friend, 

H. A. ROE. 






LETTER XXIV. 

(To the Rev. J. Wesley.) 

Jan. 6, 1782. 
My very Dear and Hon. Sir, 

I HAVE still good news to tell you. Glory 
be to God, he is working graciously among us. — 
Cousin Robert has been the instrument of four 
persons believing and receiving sanctification since I 
wrote last. One of them is a class-leader, and in all 
who now profess this salvation, the change is very 
evident; they walk and follow after God as dear 
children, who truly love him with all their hearts. 
On the watchnight, a young woman who expe- 
rienced this salvation some years ago, but had lost 
it, received it again as Mr. L. was saying, " Come 
by faith alone, if you have no worthiness, no fit- 
ness, believe only, and love shall make all things 
new. Delay not a moment : come now, and God 
will now destroy your inbred sin," &c. 

Mr. L.'s word is made a blessing to very many. 
Several backsliders are restored ; many convinced 
of sin ; some converted, and a number longing to 
love God with an undivided heart. O ! how I 
love thus to see the prosperity of Zion ! I feel in- 



( 22 ° ) 

deed a sweet assurance, through grace, that if all 
around me were careless and lukewarm, my soul 
would cleave to its only centre r with all its powers 
and affections ; but how much more does it ani- 
mate and enliven my spirit ; how increase my joy ; 
yea, how does it strengthen my hands, to see my 
dear brethren rejoicing and glorying in the same 
precious salvation, and living as it becomes the re- 
deemed of the Lord! There are persons, besides 
those I have mentioned, who can say, they feel no- 
thing contrary to love, and are kept in perfect 
peace ; but dare not yet profess that they are clean- 
sed from all sin. I now meet two bands, and, 
blessed be God, we do not meet in vain. My soul 
dwells truly in a present heaven : the eternal Tri- 
nity is my God and my all. Every power and fa- 
culty is swallowed up in him. 

" I nothing want beneath, above, 
Happy in his perfect love.** 

I was surprised to hear, that you had been at 
Chester and Wrexham : but, I trust, if you did not 
come to preach a funeral sermon for a friend, you 
came to shake satan's kingdom. 

We had a precious love -feast. Some people tell 
me I always have precious times, and therefore 
judge others have so too; but I believe most that 
were present are agreed in this, that we have had 
no love-feast like the last for many years. The 
Select Band is very lively. I have just been there, 
since I began my letter, and find another soul has 
received the witness of sanctification under Mr. L. 
this morning. I know you will join me to praise 
a God of love. Glory be to his dear name, 

" Our days of praise shall ne'er be past, 
While life and thought and being last, 
Or immortality endures." 






( 221 ) 

In a day or two after I wrote to you, the pain in 
my head and face was suddenly removed in an- 
swer to prayer ; and I have hardly felt it since. — 
Till then I had not liberty to pray for its removal ; 
but, hearing that my bands never met during my 
confinement, and that several neglected to meet in 
the Select Band, whom I persuaded to go before, 
I said, " Lord, if thy unworthiest servant can be a 
blessing to their precious souls, remove this afflic- 
tion," it is enough ; " and I will praise thee." — . 
And the prayer was heard. Tn ten thousand in- 
stances I thus prove him a God that heareth and 
answereth prayer. I am filled with his goodness >. 
I know not where to begin that praise that never 
shall end. I remain, dear and ever honoured Sir, 
your unworthiest child in bonds of divine love, 

H. A. ROE. 



LETTER XXV. 

(To the same.) 

April 7, 1782. 
Rev. and Dear Sir, 

GLORY be to him, to whom all glory is 
<Sver due. I find him an ocean of love without 
bottom or shore. He fills my happy soul with 
humble joy unknown. I dwell in his sacred pre- 
sence ; he dwells in my worthless heart, and all 
wrapped up in him I am. 

Your last Sermon on the Monday morning was 

made a peculiar blessing to very many precious 

souls, who say, they are sure God directed you to 

speak just as you did. Some others indeed say* 

19 * 



( 222 ) 

you preached a new doctrine, which they never 
heard before, except from cousin Robert Roe, re- 
specting a present salvation; for they cannot ^be- 
lieve a person can be justified or sanctified, unless 
they have undergone a long preparation, &c. Nay, 
they have even affirmed that he or myself desired 
you to preach that sermon, and to mention the per- 
son who was convicted, justified and sanctified in 
twelve hours. 

Why should we wonder at these things ? The re- 
mains of the carnal mind in myself would once 
have strongly opposed the simplicity of faith. — 
But O, how precious do I now prove the expe- 
rience of those words, " I am crucified with Christ, 
nevertheless I live, yet not I, but Christ liveth in 
me, and the life that I now live in the flesh, 1 live 
by faith in the Son of God, who hath loved me, 
and given himself for me. w How mistaken are 
those who say, to speak much of living by faith, 
or of coming to be justified or sanctified by 
faith alone, is setting aside good works? For ?: 
can there be a gospel faith which does not 
work by love ? and does not love work all holy obe- 
dience ? Excuse me, my dear Sir, I have been led 
to say more on this subject than I intended : my 
soul being peculiarly blessed since I began to write. 
Indeed,! often find it so when I write to you. He 
n^akes you various ways an instrument of much 
good to my soul. How unworthy am I of his in- 
numerable mercies ? Praise the Lord, O my soul, 
and all that is within me praise his holy name. 

A dear young woman, who received sanctifica- 
tion about three months ago (who has been a follow- 
er of God for six years, and found 1ms pardoning 
love at fourteen years old) is now to all appearance 
on the borders of eternity; and no pen can de- 
scribe the holy triumph of her soul. It is a bless- 
ing to be near her. On Tuesdaydest as I was re* 



( 223 ) 

peating and enforcing some of the passages in your 
last Sermon, and a few parallel promises, another 
young woman, who has been seeking the bless- 
ing two years by works, was by faith brought 
into full liberty, and still retains the clear witness 
that she is dteaffeed from all sin. And while Mr, 
S '■■ offered s»ufc*esent salvation, a young woman 

was justified^ *,y-" S writes word he has 

reason to praise God for his journey to Maccles- 
field, and is determined to preach an instantaneous 
present salvation from all sin. I trust your going 
to Chester will strengthen his hands. I cannot tell 
you now much I am filled with a spirit of prayer 
for you, and a sweet assurance that God is about to 
use you as a more peculiar instrument of good than 
he has ever done. I look for an abundant out- 
pouring of the Spirit. Whenever I hear of -souls 
being blessed, those words are applied, "Ye shall 
see greater things than these." May the fulness 
of the triune God„ ever fill your happy soul ! and 
may you still help me to love him more, prays your 
most unworthy, but ever affectionate, 

H. A. ROE* 



LETTER XXVI. 
f 

(To the same.) 

. f V June 13, im. 

£eV.«and Dear Sir, 

f **I HAVE been very 411, and my body brought 
very low; since I saw you; but those sweet worcls 
continually applied caused^ne to rejoice with' joy 



( 224 ) 

unspeakable and full of glory, viz. u According t& 
my earnest expectation, and my hope, that in no- 
thing I shall be ashamed, but with all boldness, as 
always, so now also Christ shall be magnified in my 
body, whether it be by life or by death, for to me 
to live is Christ, and to die is gain." O my dear 
Sir, 1 never dwelt so much in God as I have done 
of late. My whole soul has been swallowed up in 
communion with the eternal Trinity : and pecu- 
liarly, within this last fortnight, with the holy Spi- 
rit. I have been led to pray in faith for a univer- 
sal and pen te costal outpouring of his divine fulness : 
and it surely will descend. 

Being lately on a visit to Nantwicb, the dear peo- 
ple there, who knew me formerly, flocked around 
me with eagerness, and I had a prayer-meeting 
with twelve or fourteen of them, for which I be- 
lieve we shall praise God through eternity. A 
poor backslider was restored, and all present were 
filled with humble love and joy. I left five or six 
earnestly crying for a clean heart, and determined 
to meet among themselves, for all the Classes were 
broken up, or torn by divisions. When I came to 
Congleton on my return home, I found a young 
man, who lately withstood cousin Robert Roe to 
his face, respecting sanctification by faith, now re- 
joicing in it, and declaring it boldly to all around* 
I spoke with several who felt the need of holiness, 
and two of them are able to testify v4 the blood of 
Jesus cleanseth them from all sin." 

In this place, those who enjoy Christian Per- 
fection have ha4 much opposition from some of 
their brethren. Four or five met constantly toge- 
ther to revile cousin Robert and all w1k> profess it. 
But, one of them now has been truly numbled fee- 
fore God, and received it himself in the very way 
he so much reviled, even by simple faith. And 
another of them says in his class, and publicly to 



( 225 ) 

all, that, if he had continued to revile them, he be- 
lieves he should have been damned for it ; but he 
is now determined never to rest till he receives it 
himself. Since you were with us, six or seven 
have been justified, and four or five sanctified.— 
Cousin Robert preached at Keethlesum, about 
eight miles off, where one was justified and another 
sanctified. At Burslem he found many thirsting 
for holiness, some enjoying it, and others stirred up 
to seek it. 

The children, who professed sanctification when 
you were here, stand steadfast and irreprovably ; 
though they have much opposition from those who 
do not believe the doctrine. Indeed I believe it is 
a means of good to them, constraining them to 
walk and cleave so much the nearer to God, that 
he may give them wisdom and strength. For my 
own part, I find every trial or affliction has this 
blessed tendency ; and as when a man is tossed in 
the sea, every boisterous wave sinks him lower : 
so when lost in the ocean of love, every severe tri- 
al, temptation, or afflictive dispensation serves to 
plunge me deeper into God. Still pray for me, 
dear Sir, and believe me ever your most affection- 
ate, though unworthy child, H. A. ROE. 



LETTER XXVII. 

(To the same.) 

July, 7, 1782. 
My Dear and Honoured Sir, 

SINCE my last I have been very ill, and 
thought I was on the borders of my heavenly coun- 
try. O with what joy did \ feel this feeble body 
fail ! How did my soul exult in the glorious pros- 



( 226 ) 

pect of eternity ! My every faculty expanded, and 
all my large desires eagerly gasping for immortali- 
ty ; for the full and immediate fruition of my God* 
"When most afflicted with pain and violent heart- 
sickness, those words, my God, filled me with unut- 
terable delight. I felt all the force of those other 
words, 

"Jesus comes with my distress, 
And agony is heaven." 

for a thousand tongues to praise him ! O for a 
thousand lives to spend wholly for him ! Yes, ar- 
dently as I long to see him as he is, I could be 
willing, if so poor a worm could bring glory to his 
blessed name, to live a thousand years. Indeed, my 
dear Sir, I love him with a love that cannot be ex- 
pressed, and yet I long to love him more. 

" Plung'd in the Godhead's deepest sea, 
And lost in his immensity. 

1 see more and more lately into the extent of that 
promise, a What things soever ye desire, when ye 
pray, believe that ye receive them y and ye shall have 
them." I have proved it in a thousand instances, 
and never knew it to fail in one. " If ye ask any 
thing in my name," says Jesus, " I will do it." — 
What an open field then lies before us ? Blessed be 
God, the work still goes forward ; though all who 
profess holiness are strongly opposed, and their 
names cast out as evil : but we are enabled by 
grace to bear all things, and endure all things in a 
spirit off love. Cousin Robert, on entering his 
new house, had a meeting there, and it was a time 
much to be remembered. One received sanctifica- 
tion, and many were greatly established. 

\ have thoughts, if the Lord open a way, of go- 
ing into Yorkshire. I leave myself in the Lord's 



( ~2? ) 

hands, as I desire to spend and be spent for him 
alone. May he fill you with all his fulness ; and 
in a particular manner, when you meet in confer- 
ence, may the unction from above fill yours and 
every heart ! May all go forth with strength renew- 
ed ; and a plenitude of the Spirit be poured out 
on all flesh ! i am now and ever, dear Sir, your un- 
worthy but affectionate child, 

H. A. ROE. 



LETTER XXVIIL 

(To the Rev. Mr. Fletcher.) 

Dublin^ Dec. 14, 1784. 
Rev. and Dear Sir, 

I BELIEVE it will not be unacceptable to 
you to be informed how a God of love is blessing 
his dear people in this city. You have a peculiar 
right to expect this, because you were made, 
through mercy, the instrument of kindling a gra- 
cious flame in many hearts ; and of preparing 
others to receive the message of salvation; a pre- 
sent salvation even from all sin. Had npt-you and 
your dear partner been here before us,^I$Hs proba- 
ble we should not have been received as we now 
are. But the sound of your Master's feet was be- 
hind you, and a gracious savour was left upon the 
minds of the people in general ; so that when we 
came we found them eager to embrace the rvhole gos- 
pel, t had the clearest assurance,before we left Eng- 
land, that oar appointment for Dublin was of the 
Lord, arid every day brings me fresh proofs of it. It 
was aisu a kind providence which brought us here 
on the very day that precious woman, Mrs. King, 



( 223 ) 

(now Mrs. Johnson,) was married ; and in conse- 
quence of which, went to reside at Lisburn. Had 
we arrived before the society suffered so great a 
loss, my poor services might not have been so ac- 
ceptable ; and had it been later, the minds of the 
people might have been grieved to excess. But 
the novelty of strangers first engaged their atten- 
tion, and the word of the Lord then soon became a 
sin-killing and soul-saving word : so that now 
every one's cares and fears terminate in a determi- 
nation to secure their own salvation. 

Another great blessing is, Mr. Rogers and Mr. 
Blair (his fellow-labourer) are united as the heart 
of one man : Mrs. Blair also, is a sister indeed to 
me, in spirit and real affection ; so that we are a 
family of love ; and one small house serves us all. 
And not the preachers- only, but the stewards, lead- 
ers, and people all unite, and have only one strife- 
how they may best promote each other's happiness, 
and the cause of God. And glory, glory, glory be 
ever ascribed to Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, it is 
promoted ! Sinners are snatched by grace as brands 
from the burning, and the kingdom of God an4 
his Christ is set up in many believing hearts. 

" Lo ! the promise of a shower 
Drops already from above ; 
Bat the Lord shall shortly pour 
All the spirit of his love." 

In six weeks from the time of our first arrival, 
many were awakened, and nine received a clear 
sense of pardon : these returned public thanks, 
which greatly encouraged the seekers, and raised 
the expectation of all. As it was manifestly a 
time of refreshing from the presence of the Lord, 
it was thought expedient at our love-feast, Oct. 10, 
to give notes of admittance, on that occasion, to 
many who were not as yet members of society, but 



( 229 ) 

appear desirous of salvation ; so that near seven 
hundred souls were present : and a feast of love it 
was, such as I believe many will praise God for 
to all eternity ! After several, who spoke with 
great freedom and simplicity, a poor penitent be- 
sought us with tears to pray for her. The kin- 
dlings of love which had been felt before, now be- 
came a flame in every believing soul ; and whea 
tallen on our knees, the power of God descended 
of a truth : every corner of the house was filled 
with cries of " God be merciful to me a sinner," 
or, "Praise the Lord, O my soul, who hath for- 
given all mine iniquities ! Not one remained unaf- 
fected ; and we have since found that seven were 
justified at that time : among whom was one that 
got a note of admittance ia the morning : and se- 
veral who came only with a faint desire, were deeply- 
convinced of sin. The next night, another was 
justified under the word, and a second under the 
prayer, and a backslider healed ; and soon after, 
while Mr. R. explained and enforced, " blessed 
are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of 
heaven ;" dear sister R — whom I am persuaded 
you well remember ; (for you took great pains to 
encourage and help her forward) even this poor 
nervous, afflicted woman, who has been a seeker 
twenty-one years, laid hold of the promise by faith, 
and received the "knowledge of salvation* by the 
remission of her sins : f ' and notwithstanding she 
is often greatly oppressed by her bodily disorder 
she is still enabled to claim her interest in redeem* 
rug blood. A poor vile young man, who had* in- 
duced himself in all kinds of sin with greediness, 
and, according to his own expression, " believed* 
no God more supreme than himself,'' strayed into 
the chapel just as Mr. Rogers gave outsat text, 
" Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt 
be saved :" He was that hour cut to the heart, and 

20 



( 230 ) 

is now earnestly seeking salvation, and has received 
much comfort. Under the same sermon, one was 
justified, and another backslider healed. 

Since this, a man and his wife came to preaching 
together, who had been seekers seven years, and 
their states nearly alike : they did not sit near each 
other ; but were both set at liberty under the same 
sentence, and in the same instant. They both ran 
to catch hold of Mr. R. as he came from the pul- 
pit, and there met each oiher, and rejoiced together 
with exceeding great joy. The man said, he 
knew his wife was blest before they thus met, as 
well as he knew that himself was. Another per- 
son, who had been a backslider ten years, first into 
Antinomian principles, and then into gross, open 
sin, fell lately into deep despair, and many times 
attempted to put an end to his life, but was as of- 
ten prevented by an almost miraculous providence* 
Friday, Nov. 12, was the last time, when he had 
placed a loaded pistol to his breast, and intended 
to discharge it the next moment ; but these words 
came with power, " Why will ye die V 9 He in- 
stantly fell on his knees, and dropped the pistol. 
He came afterwards to the preachers, who endea- 
voured to encourage him : and on the Tuesday 
following he was at our prayer-meeting, where a* 
agonizing spirit of prayer was given : he obtained 
then a cpmfortable hope of mercy, and at night un- 
der Mr. Blair's preaching, *vas set at liberty. — > 
This he told me the next morning, with streaming 
eyes, and gratitude unspeakable. 

Nov. IB, we had another lovefeast at Gravel- 
walk : it was a more wonderful season than eyen 
the former. We know of nine that we have rea- 
son to believe were justified; and many lukewarm 
professors were greatly stirred up. Two of these 
found peace in the blood of %Tesus the week after; 
another on Sunday night last, wh» was a papist ; 



( 231 ) 

and another last night. A Jew is also convinced 
and converted ; and from being, according to his 
sect, apharisee, is now zealous in his love to Je- 
sus ; though at the hazard of his life, for his own 
mother, and other relations, have attempted to mur- 
der him at different times. 

i, One of sister Johnson's classes, and another, 
since new raised, are committed to my care. In 
the first of these are now thirty -eight members, in 
the latter, thirty-six : and within the last quarter, 
ten of these have received a sense of pardon, and 
four others are enabled to love God with all their 
hearts. I have likewise undertook a class of 
young girls, from about nine to fourteen years of 
age. In a few weeks many of them began to feel 
awakenings, and a few were deeply convinced of 
sin. A month ago, one of these, ten years of age, 
received a clear sense of pardon : She told her 
companion of the same age, who prayed and wept, 
and would not be comforted, till she obtained the 
same blessing, which was in a few days. When 
the rest heard this, they were greatly stirred up, 
and the following Sabbath two more were as clear- 
ly justified, one of eleven, the other thirteen years 
€>f age. There is a great and visible change in all 
these; and they speak clearly and experimentally. 
Seven more are under conviction, and I doubt not 
will soon be brought into liberty. In all we have 
certain accounts, since we came, of forty-sax justi- 
fied, eight sanctified, and one hundred added to 
the society. 

As to myself, I never was so truly happy in every 
sense : happy in increasing union and communion 
with Father, Son, and Spirit, and sunk into depths 
of humble love. I feel my unworthiness and no- 
thingness indescribable ; yet, stupendous grace ! 
all the communicable fulness of a Triune God is 
inine. I fesi the equal love #f the undivided 



( 2S2 ) 

Deity. As I worship the Father, so I worship the 
Son, and the Holy Ghost — my God — my all in all. 
I am happy too, in one who is truly a help to me 
for soul and body, for time and eternity, and who 
greatly encourages me in all my labours : happy 
in my situation, amongst a lively ; affecXonate peo>- 
ple, who make it their study how to manifest their 
love ; nor have we one jarring string amongst us.— ^ 
O may we ever be kept humble at the Saviour's 
feet, and all our blessings (as through grace they 
do) prove only a scale to heavenly love. Please 
to remember us, in the most affectionate manner, to 
dear Mrs. Fletcher. We entreat an interest in 
both your prayers. When 1 last asked this favour 
at Leeds, I believe you granted it, and that your 
petitions were answered : Once more then, pray for 
us : and believe me, dear Sir, in gospel love, your 
willing servant, 

H. A. ROGERS. 



LETTER XXIX. 

(To Mr. Matthias Joyce.) 

Dublin^ May 1, 17.85. 

Bear Brother, 

MY soul greatly rejoices in your joy. I do 
join with you in that song which shall never end, 
il Unto him that hath loved us, and washed us 
from our sins in his own blood, be glory for ever 
and ever." ■ O how precious is that life of simple 
faith you describe and possess ! Go on, favoured 
servant of the Lord, and he will shew you greater 
things than these. I do not mean there is any 
thing greater or higher than love : but in thir 



( 233 ) 

ocean, what heights, what lengths, what depths ! 
what immeasurable degrees, even in that commu- 
nion with a Triune God, which it is our privilege 
to prove. I know you feel something of what I 
mean, even of equal love of Father, Son, and Ho- 
ly Ghost. This we cannot properly feel, till freed 
from inbred sin : where sin remains, there cannot 
be that close union with the Father I now speak of: 
but sin destroyed, and we know the meaning of 
those words, " The Father himself loveth you :" 
And again, " I and my Father will come and make 
our abode with you." Yea, the wdiole Deity flows 
in upon us. Consider that blessed scripture, 
11 Know ye not that your bodies are the temples of 
the Holy Ghost, which is in you, and ye are not 
your own, for ye are bought with a price ?" By 
whom ? By Jesus : therefore glorify God the Fa- 
ther; even the Triune God — Father, Son, and 
Spirit, with your bodies and your Spirits which are 
bis. 

" Drawn, and redeemed, and seal'd, 
We'll praise the One and Three, 
With Father, Son, and Spirit filPd 
To all eternity." 

I hope the Lord will carry on a gracious work 
in Drogheda : I am glad to hear you see so good 
a beginning. I never heard of so universal a revi- 
val as I am told by many, is now spreading through 
England, Ireland, and America; and yet 1 think 
it is but the beginning of what the Lord will shortly 
do. Let us not be weak in faith, and we shall see 
showers of blessings. The promise shall surely be 
accomplished ; and perhaps hastened speedily by 
the universal cry of God's dear children : "The 
earth shall be filled with the knowledge of the glory 
of God, as the waters cover the sea/' 
20 ^ 



( 234 ) 

I doubt not but you have had a precious season 
with Mr. Wesley : I think I never saw him more 
truly filled with his blessed Master's Spirit : We 
have heard of two souls convinced of sin, and 
eight justified under him, while in Dublin : and, 
blessed be God, two more, since he left us, can 
praise a reconciled God, and one is set at perfect 
liberty ; besides three more of the children, who 
have received remission of sins. I find, blessed 
be God, my own soul is as a watered garden ; and 
1 have access to a spring whose waters fail not, 
from which I ever drink fresh supplies. O what 
wells of salvation !-*-what an unfathomable ocean 
of love ! 

A trifling affliction of body has, I think, sunk me 
deeper into God. Such heart-felt, solid peace, 
such inward nearness to, and fellowship with him, 
I have proved the last fortnight, as is better felt 
than described. It has been much of 

" That sacred awe which dares not move, 
And all the silent heaven of love." 

for an enlarged heart ! O for ten thousand 
tongues to praise my God ! As it is said, " In that 
day ye shall know that I am in the Father, you in 
me, and I in you :" so it is-*-the blessed day is 
come : I do know it :. I do feel it : I know what it 
is to dwell in the Father, through the Son, and by 
the uniting power of the Holy Ghost, and ever 
worship an undivided Deity. These words have 
often been spoken to my heart, and I feel them now. 
applied: "All that I have is thine :" Yes, my 
liOrd, and I possess a drop out of the ocean : If 

1 had much more at present, it would lay me dead 
at thy feet : but all is mine in happy reversion, and 
what my weakness can bear, thou wilt impart. O 



( 235 ) 

make thyself room, and more of heaven bestow ! 
Thou wilt, thou dost enlarge my heart : I grasp 
the God I seek, the God I love, the God I shall en- 
joy to all eternity. Eternity ! O what a word is 
that ! A Triune God my own to all eternity ! Yes, 
yes, he is !— ~ Wonder O heavens ! — Be astonished 

earth ! — Be humble O my soul, and help me to 
praise him all ye hosts above ! O that all the world 
knew the riches of divine love ! O that all believ- 
ers would give him all their heart* 

My brother, let you and me covenant afresh with 
God, to spread the savour of his grace with all our 
most enlarged powers ; especially his full salvation, 
that rest from all sin, that rest of perfect love ; re- 
ceived by simple faith, and by faith alone. I think 

1 never read any thing wherein that blessing is 
more clearly described than Mr. Wesley's Sermon 
in the March and April Magazines for this year, 
which I believe, will do much good : for, how many 
have been discouraged by not knowing and consider- 
ing that one point, u Sin is a wilful transgression of a 
known law." If this were the constant rule by 
which we judged of what we feel, how many vain 
reasonings would be answered : — how many subtle 
suggestions of the enemy : a mistake through ig- 
norance, or through an imperfect memory, together 
with various hateful injections from an enemy : a 
dulness of spirit, occasioned by the body ; or a flut- 
ter of spirit, occasioned by surprise, &c. none of 
these, I say, or all of them put together, would then 
appear a sufficient reason, why a soul should cast 
away its confidence respecting what the Lord has 
wrought : Seeing these are consistent with pure 
love, they are not wilful transgressions of a known 
law. 

May the Lord bless you in your soul and labours, 
still more abundantly, prays, dear brother, your 
friend and sister in Jesus, H. A. ROGERS. 



( 136 ) 

LETTER XXX. 

(To the Rev. J. Wesley.) 

Nov. 21, 1782. 
My Dear and Honoured Sir, 

I HAVE been much indisposed since I 
wrote last, but I think it is not wholly my old dis- 
orders. I believe since my cousin's death my 
nerves have been much affected, because any thing- 
sudden will occasion tremours which I can no 
otherwise account for, at the same time that my 
soul is in perfect peace and solidly happy ; as also 
many times there is a dulness and stupidity, when 
at the same moment I feel a direct witness, that it 
proceeds not from any abatement of the ardours 
of love divine. Glory be to God, I feel this, as a 
well of water ever springing up afresh, and 1 know 
the work of his grace takes still deeper root than 
ever in my worthless heart ; and though at times 
the enemy suggests, if this nervous disorder takes 
hold of me as on my late dear cousin, I shall not re- 
joice evermore, as I have done hitherto ; yet I am 
enabled to answer him in the power of faith, " My 
strength shall be equal to my day." If he afflicts, 
I have his word of promise, "My grace is suffi- 
cient for thee." Nor can I have one painful fear, 
I know in whom I trust. 

I was yesterday employed in visiting different 
members of the classes with Mr. R. a business 
which has been much neglected here of late, and 
which I trust, will be made a blessing to many. — • 
I find it profitable. Mr. II. has suffered much 
thrcjugh the prejudices of some; but he is as gold 
purified in the fire: it has been an unspeakable 
blessing. It has cut off his intimacy with those, 
who would perhaps have proved snares and hin~ 






( 237 ) 

dr£nces to his soul and his labours; and united 
him more closely to the little flock, who are rich 
in faith, and heirs of the kingdom. I believe he 
has acted faithfully to God, to souls, and to you. 
• The Select Band is now the most precious meet- 
ing in which I ever assembled ; there are forty- 
eight members, all truly and happily walking in the 
narrow path ; thirty-five, I have no doubt, enjoy 
perfect love. About six have enjoyed it before, 
and are now seeking it afresh, and the rest who ne- 
ver enjoyed it, are thirsting for it more than gold 
or silver. We are all too united in one spirit : all 
in this little company are helpers of each others* 
joy. 

I love Mrs. R. much : she is indeed one of the 
excellent ones of the earth. I feel much for you 
respecting the affair at Birstal : may the Lord 
strengthen your hands, and in doing so, defend his 
own cause. Your warfare shall surely yet be glo- 
rious, though it be through briers, or thorns, or 
scorpions. The Lord still reigneth, and will de- 
fend his dear servants. Surely he is purging his 
Sion, and will remove the chaff, and leave himself a 
pure and a peaceable remnant, whose motto shall 
be, "holiness to the Lord." 

The openness of my disposition has sometimes 
brought me into inconveniencies ; but with you I 
believe it will not, and therefore I speak freely. I 
am very unapt to suspect any person of guile, but 
experience tells me, all are not to be trusted. I 
feel I need the continual unction of the Holy One to 
teach me. O pray that this may be ever given to 
your ever affectionate, unworthy child in a pecious 
Jesus, 

H. A. ROGERS* 



( 2S8 ) 
LETTER XXXI. 

(To the same.) 

Cork, Jan. 24, 1788. . 
My Dear and Hon. Sir, 

NEVER had one so every way undeserving, $<& 
much reason to praise a God of love. Day after day 
—-nay, every hour I breathe, he loadeth me with his 
multiplied mercies ; yea, they are more in num- 
ber than the hairs of my head. If I did not love 
him with all my consecrated powers, and momenta- 
rily offer up my little all; — if I were not resolved 
to embrace every opportunity to spend and be spent 
in service so divine, I should of all mortals be the 
most inexcusable : for, O ! his love to me is bound- 
less ; — -I prove it an ocean without a bottom or a 
shore ! The sweet communion 1 have with Father, 
Son, and Spirit, is unspeakable ! and whatsoever I 
ask of God in faith, it is done. In God I live : in 
him 1 move : by him I act and speak, and it is in 
him alone I enjoy all my mercies. 

Since I wrote last we have fresh cause for praise* 
The Lord is doing wonders amongst us here. It 
seems very likely at present, we shall see as great a 
work here as at Dublin. At the visitation of the 
classes this Christmas, we found the society in- 
creased from 397 members, (the number it contain- 
ed last Conference) to 504 ; and the number of 
classes are increased from 24 to 30 ; and 56 souls 
have found peace with God since September last* 
The Christmas festival was a most blessed season: 
On Christmas morning at four o'clock, the preach- 
ing house was well filled, and God was truly pre- 
sent to bless :— -many were awakened, and four 
justified at the watch-night on new-year's eve*-— 
Several also found pardon at the lovefeast, and 



( 239 ) 

many witnessed a good confession : but the time of 
renewing our covenant exceeded all : Fourteen 
souls were that day born of God ; some at their 
classes, and the rest at that sweet, solemn season 
of the covenant : — The house was truly shaken 
(I mean every soul therein) by the power of God. 
I believe, none present, preachers or people, will 
ever forget it. I trust I never shall. It was none 
other than the antechamber of glory to my soul : 
the house of God — the gate of heaven. O how 
was I filled with his presence ! how did I bask in 
the beams of his love ! how was I made to feel his 
immeasurable fulness all my own, through covenant 
blood divine ! Several were perfected in love, and 
several backsliders restored. Since this, between 
thirty and forty have joined the society ; several of 
whom date their deep awakenings from the cove- 
nant night. Mr. Rogers saw it expedient on that 
occasion, to give notes of admission to some who 
were halting between two opinions ; and most of 
them were then, and are now, determined to He the 
Lord's* 

My classes being now divided, I meet twenty on 
a Tuesday, and eighteen on a Friday. My heart 
is knit to theae precious souls ; and, blessed be God, 
we never meet in vain. The Lord is pleased to 
bless me in all my weak labours, and he knows I 
ascribe to him all the good done, and all the glory. 
I do lie at his feet, and am astonished at his conde- 
scending love to such a worm. Last Sunday even- 
ing, thanksgiving notes were sent by four for a 
sense of pardon received last week ; and we hear 
of two mpre, who received the same blessing that 
day. Several of our dear friends, who know and 
love the Lord, have entered into a solemn covenant 
with him, and with each other, never to rest till 



( 240 ) 

tlstey experience perfect love. One of these has 
since received the blessing, and seems in all things 
a new creature indeed. 

We have got another new place for preaching, ifi. 
a very convenient arid populous part of this city, 
Mr. R. preached there the first time, a fortnight 
ago, and told the congregation, he would meet in 
a class as many as wei e determined to forsake their 
sins, and seek the kingdom of God with all their 
hearts. Fourteen offered themselves, and were 
admitted on trial ; and since then, five more ; so 
that there is a new class meets there, of nineteen 
members. Great good is likely to be done, as most 
of the hearers that attend are strangers, who per- 
haps would never have heard elsewhere. We have 
now five preaching houses, at different parts and 
proper distances ; and, I believe, we shall see a 
glorious harvest of precious souls. In all, since 
we came, seventy-seven are enabled to rejoice in a 
reconciled God, and many more seem just ready 
to step into the pool of redeeming mercy* 

We hear good news respecting the work of God 
in Dublin, and in other parts of the kingdom ; O 
may the Lord ride on in the glorious 3,pd triumphant 
chariot of gospel grace and salvation, till all be 
subdued ! My dear Mr. Rogers begs me to send 
his duty and love to you, and joins me in daily in- 
tercession at a throne of grace, that you may be fill- 
ed with the fulness of every new covenant blessing* 
I am, my very dear sir, your ever obliged and truly 
affectionate, though unworthv friend and servant, 

" H. A. ROGERS. 




( 24' ) 



LETTER XXXII. 

(To one who had set out fair for the kingdom of heaven, but at 
this, time was grown languid ancj. faint in spiritual things, 
and likely to return to the spirit and customs of the world.) 

Cork, Jan. 16, 1789. 
My Dear Friend, 

I HAVE long desired in the bowels of love, 
to see your soul advance in spiritual life : and ha- 
ving considered your state in secret, and with so- 
lemn prayer before God, I think duty calls me to 
try, if by freely and faithfully expostulating with 
you, I may, through grace, be an instrument of 
stirring you up to seek the Lord afresh, in that 
manner which alone will avail to your salvation : 
even so as experimentally to feel him your God, re- 
conciled in Christ Jesus. Short of this you cannot 
be happy — you are not safe. An unpardoned sin- 
ner is under all the curses of a broken law : espe- 
cially that sentence, " Cursed is every one w r ho 
continueth not in all things written in the book of 
the law to do them ;" which stands in full force 
against that soul who has never taken refuge in the 
one and only propitiation for sin ; even Jesus 
Christ the righteous : for no man can come unto 
the Father but by him ; neither is there salvation 
in any other. He himself assures us, u If ye die 
in your sins, where I am ye cannot come," and, 
" E cept a man be born again, he cannot see the 
kingdom of God." Bear with one who loves you 
then, while I ask a few serious questions, as in the 
presence of that God before whom we must shortly 
both appear, and in whose sight all things are na- 
Iced and open, 

Are you now as earnest in seeking the pardon of 
all your sins, as you were when, two years ago, you 

21 



( 242 ) 

came with deep penitential sorrow and floods of 
tears, to join the society of God's people ? O that 
you could answer me in the affirmative. You well 
remember, the language of your soul then was, 
" The remembrance of my sins is grievous unto 
me, the burden of them is intolerable : — a wounded 
spirit who can bear?" You saw yourself a barren 
fig-tree, a cumberer of the ground, a brand ready 
for the burning ; and that infinite Justice must 
have sentenced you to the pit from whence there is 
no return, if unmerited mercy in your divine advo- 
cate had not prayed, " Let it still alone :" Your cry 
was, with the publican, u God be merciful to me a 
sinner," and with sinking Peter, "Lord save, or 
I perish." For a time you acted agreeable to 
such convictions ; — promising was the prospect, 
and fair the bud of grace : the arms of love were 
ready to receive you, and angels even began to re- 
joice over a repenting sinner. But ah! where 
are now those fervent desires, those ardent breath- 
ings after God ; those wrestless longings which 
nothing but the knowledge of his love could satis- 
fy ? Where is that restless spirit of prayer, that 
love to every ordinance and means of grace ? How 
seldom was your seat in God's house then empty ? 
Where is fled that deep seriousness which then 
ever sat on your countenance, and accompanied all 
your conversation ?— -that deadness to worldly com- 
pany, worldly concerns, and the good will of 
worldly persons ? — in short, that whole deportment 
which loudly spoke to all, that the language of 
your soul was, 

" None but Christ to me be given, 
None but Christ in earth or heaven ." 

My dear friend, I could weep over you while I 
see the sad reverse : Alas ! it is not with you now 



( 243 ) 

as it was then, you seem to have lost that blessed 
power, that weeping penitence, that happy victory- 
over all the charms a delusive world can boast ? 
Say, is it not the case ? Have you not sunk back 
into careless ease and indifference, with respect to 
heavenly things — a false peace, and your spirit be- 
come light and trifling ? You can now converse on 
worldly subjects, even as others, and join in their 
empty laughter ; yea, and prefer such compa- 
ny to the lovers or Jesus. O why is this awful 
change : Is God no longer a just and holy God to 
punish sin ? Is he no longer a God of truth, who 
hath said, " The soul that sinneth, it shall*die ? — 
E cept ye be converted, and become as little chil- 
dren, ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of 
heaven V* Is Christ and salvation, pardon here, 
and glory hereafter, no longer desirable i If other- 
wise why then are you neglecting and trifling with 
your most important concerns .? why are you re- 
turned to that which cannot satisfy ? I tremble for 
you ! O cry mightily to God, and rest not till you 
are again filled with that hungering and thirsting 
that cannot be satisfied, but in an experimental 
knowledge of Jesus crucified, and his nature writ- 
ten on your heart. 

As the first step to a recovery, let me beseech 
you ncxv lift up your soul to him who discerneth 
in secret, and ask him, Lord, why is thy striving 
spirit departed, or just departing from me ? Yea, 
ask your own soul, wherein did you resist and 
grieve that Spirit ? He convinced you, he that 
would follow Christ so as to be saved by him, 
must forsake and give up all. But were you faith- 
ful and obedient to these teachings ? Did you not, 
after a little, begin to keep something back, and say, 
is it not a little one P Was there no creature de- 
light, no beloved companion you had forsaken for 
Christ's sake, which you have again yielded to, 



( 244 > 

and taken pleasure in ? pleasing yourself with the 
hope, that this Agag might be spared : whereas, the 
Spirit of truth hath said, "The companion of 
fools shall be destroyed :" and you are expressly 
commanded, "Come ye out from among them, 
and be ye separate, saith the Lord :" on this condi- 
tion only, saith he, "I will receive you, and will 
be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and 
my daughters, saith the Lord Almighty." 

While you obeyed the voice of God, you could 
not go to balls, plays, or cards, for his spirit taught 
you, " She that liveth in pleasure, is dead while 
she liveth," But, have you not been prevailed up- 
on ? — or, if not, have you not, in what is called 
little things, conformed to the world ? Such as 
fashionable adorningof the body, even in immodest, 
as w r ell as costly array ? whereas, the command is 
plain and positive, and easy to be understood, 
"That women adorn themselves In modest appa- 
rel, with shamefacedness and sobriety ; not with 
feroidered hair, or gold, or costly array :" and again, 
" Be not conformed to this world, but be ye trans- 
formed by the renewing of your mind ; that is, if 
ye would "prove the acceptable will of God." — - 
Now, consider a moment ; after (contrary to checks 
of conscience) indulging yourself in any of these 
things, could you pray as before ? nay, were even 
your desires after God and spiritual things as live- 
ly and vigorous ? Ah no ! The Spirit of God was 
grieved, and he moved not upon your spirit : he 
left you to yourself, and you neglected duty more 
and more ; till now, I fear, you can at times plead 
with the world you had forsaken, against singulari- 
ty, against shutting yourself up from carnal com- 
pany, and subjecting yourself to the sneers and 
disdain of those, who see no beauty in Christ and 
salvation. Alas ! how changed ! how trifling did 
you once account the scoffs and frowns of such ; 



( 245 ) 

yea, not worth a thought, when you first felt your 
state as a lost sinner : Then you would cry, 

" Let earth and all its trifles go ; — 
Give me, O Lord, thyself to know, 
Give me thy precious love." 

And are you happier now ? Are you in a safer state 
—•more fit for heaven ? It is true you may have 
less fears of hell; but this is no good sign, for 
you have more cause to fear. You were then a re- 
penting sinner ; and had you persevered to seek, 
you would, before now, have been a child of God, 
and an heir of glory. But you are now a trifling 
sinner; and, O think a moment! what is it you 
are trifling with ? — With God that made you — with 
Jesus, who shed his blood for you — with the Holy 
Ghost, who awakened and hath been long striving 
with you : — You are trifling with eternal happiness 
and eternal pain, and with your own immortal soul. 
This is an important subject, and demands your 
immediate attention : In a little time it will be too 
late to reflect or repent. O then, as you value 
eternal life, stop ! O go not a step farther from 
your God ; but return with weeping and with sup- 
plication, to the feet of him you have pierced— 
him who yet prays for you, or you had been in 
hell : — to him who is yet willing to wash you in 
his own blood, and by the power of that Spirit 
you have grieved, save you from all, even your 
most besetting sin. But delay not, or he may 
swear, " You shall never enter into his rest."— 
Speedily cut off the right hand— pluck out the 
right eye — take up your cross, and give up all. — - 
You cannot serve God and mammon : — You can- 
not be a friend of the world, and not be the enemy 
of God : — You cannot indulge the spirit of the 
world, without losing your own soul. And be no: 
deceived ; if you follow the fashions and 
21 # 



( 246 ) 

customs thereof, you have the spirit of it, and love 
it more than God. " If as the world you live, 5*011 
as the world will die." God forbid this should be 
the case ! O fly for refuge to the hope set before 
you ! and let me have joy over you in time, and in 
the day of eternity. 

I have, however, warned you ; and perhaps it 
may be your last warning, your last call, if you 
should now neglect. God will not always strive ! 
He may, before you are aware, lay the axe to the 
root of the tree, and cut it down. () that you 
jnay henceforward bring forth the fruits he re- 
quires ; first, the fruits of repentance, then, the 
genuine fruits of faith. Then shall I meet you 
with joy, among the sheep at the right hand of 
yonder dazzling throne ! — when the Ancient of 
Days shall sit, and the books shall be opened — 
when the righteous shall shine as the sun in the 
kingdom of their Father, and be as pillars in his 
house above, to go out no more ! — Amen, Lord Je- 
sus., prays yours in real affection, 

H. A. ROGERS. 



LETTER XXXIII. 

(To Mrs. Condy.) 

Cork y Oct. 11, 1789. 
My decir Friend and Sister, 

I BELIEVE you are well able to answer 
vour own questions. However, as you desire it, I 
will freely tell you my thoughts on what xve call 
Christian Perfection. We do not mean hereby, the 
perfection of God, of angels, of disembodied spi- 



( 247 ) 

rits, or of Adam while innocent. But we mean 
that perfection of which our natures are capable, 
through the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, the 
second Adam. We are under the law to Christ ; 
viz. the law of love — the law of liberty ; or, in 
other words, the covenant of grace. Whosoever 
loveth the Lord his God with all his heart, and 
mind, and soul, and strength, and his neighbour 
as himself, fulfilled) this law. The lowest degree 
of this salvation, is to have all contrarieties to this 
love cast out of the soul. We may be said thus 
to love him with a pure heart, when proud self, 
iind great 7, are slain, and we feel only humility. — 
When anger, fretfulness, or impatience, are no 
more ; but we even feel a meek and quiet spirit : — 
when I will, and Ixvill not, is all brought into sub- 
jection to the will of our heavenly Father; and 
our will is, that he should reign over us : — when 
he really does regulate and govern our passions, 
afFections and desires ; inordinate desires, and in- 
ordinate creature love, being no more : and lastly, 
unbelief (and consequently all tormenting fear, and 
painful anxiety) is wholly cast out. ilut, after all 
this, it remains that we go forward, that we grow 
in grace till we be not only emptied of sin, but 
filled with all the fulness of God. 

The moment any soul is justified, it is free from 
the power or dominion of outward and of inward 
sin ; and may hold fast that blessed freedom to the 
end. But, supposing a person does this, such a 
one will feel a mixture of evil propensities, tem- 
pers, affections, and desires ; which defilement is 
so rooted in our nature, that none but Jehovah Je- 
sus can cast out u the strong man armed, and spoil 
all his armour wherein he trusted." It is true, we 
may mortify, resist, and keep under those evils, 
but Jesus alone can pluck up and dc ^troy every 
plant and root which his Father planted not. We 



( 248 ) 

may gradually grow in grace and holiness, and 
hereby increase in victoriously subjecting the ene~ 
my within : but Jesus alone can slay the man of 
sin. 

All salvation too, is by faith alone, as the in- 
strument. If then, we must be saved by faith, it is 
in a moment, and the present moment, if not our 
own fault : for, what wait we for, who are the chil- 
dren and heirs of God ? and therefore heirs of the 
promises, which are all to us, " yea and amen in 
Christ Jesus." If we wait for more worthiness — 
to suffer more, to do more, to be more fit ; then 
we are seeking to be sanctified by these things, 
viz. by works. But if we believe, we can only 
obtain the blessing by grace, through faith, and 
this salvation is the free gift of God ; then let us 
be consistent with ourselves ; let us expect it by 
faith — expect it in a moment, and expect it now : 
which are one and the same thing, and are insepa- 
rable. To be dying, and to be dead indeed unto 
sin, are two things. Be not you, my sister, con- 
tent with the former : " A man may be dying for 
some time,' 5 says Mr. Wesley, " yet, properly 
speaking, he does not die till the moment the soul 
is separated from the body, and in that instant he 
begins to live th,e life of eternity : in like manner, 
a man may be dying unto sin for some time : yet, 
he is not "dead indeed unto sin," till sin be sepa- 
rated from the soul, and in that instant, he begins 
to live the life of pure love" O be you " dead 
indeed unto sin, and alive unto God, through Je- 
sus Christ you** Lord ! 

It is the blood of Jesus alone eleanseth from all 
sin : — not penal sufferings, not mortifications of 
any kind, not any thing we have, not grace already 
received, not any thing xve are, or can be: nor 
death, nor purgatory ; no, not the purgatory of all 
our doings, and sufferings, and strivings, put toge- 






( 249 ) 

ther : — no, no ; Christ is the procuring, meritorious 
cause of all our salvation. He alone forgiveth' 
sins, and he alone cleanseth from all unrighteous- 
ness. Faith is the only condition, and it shares in 
the omnipotence it dares to trust. u All things 
are noxo ready, is the gospel message ; and Jesus 
saveth all them unto the uttermost, that come unto 
God by him. "I will be thou clean," is his lan- 
guage to every seeking, leprous soul ! — to you, if 
not already cleansed. 

Joy in the Holy Ghost is a blessed fruit of this 
salvation ; but divine joy is not always rapturous ; 
we may be sorrowful yet always rejoicing ; and 
there is suffering love, as well as exulting love.- — 
A person saved as above, may experience a degree 
of heaviness, or dulness, for a season, through 
bodily infirmities, close trials, or sundry tempta- 
tions ; but such a one cannot walk in darkness.— 
Likewise, many mistakes are consistent with this 
state ; I mean, errors in judgment, and failures in 
memory ; yet the will stands firm for God, and 
the intention is always single. Involuntary sins, 
(as some call them) or sins of ignorance, (except 
the ignorance be wilful) are not breaches of the 
law of love : — For these things we have an advo- 
cate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous, 
who is our propitiation, and washes our holiest du- 
ties in his own blood : to whom we will ever give 
honour and glory. I am, my dear sister, yours in 
the bonds of pure love, 

H. A. ROGERS, 



( 250 ) 
LETTER XXXIY. 

(To one lately emerged out of Arian darkness.) 

Cork) Nov. 5, 1789. 
My Dear Miss D. 

I RECEIVED the favour of yours, and re- 
joice that you know in whom you have believed^ 
and that your face is now Sionward. Go on, my 
dear sister ; it is a blessed path : — The goodly land 
is before — the land of sacred liberty, and glorious 
rest from all sin. O that you may soon prove by 
happy experience, " perfect love casteth out all [sla- 
vish] fear !" and that the deepest humiliation before 
God, on account of our ignorance, helplessness, 
and unworthiness, is not only consistent with, but 
inseparable from, rejoicing evermore ; for the 
ground of that rejoicing is, that he who hath loved 
me, and washed me from my sins in his own 
hlood, hath ail the honour and glory, and is all in 
all for ever; while I sink a poor worm at his feet — 
overwhelmed at his free unmerited grace : — grace 
that plucked me from the gulf beneath — recon- 
ciled a poor guilty rebel to her God — changed the 
leper's spots, and made the Ethiop white. Thus, 
the more deep our sense of unworthiness, the more 
precious is Jesus, our interceding Advocate with 
the Father, who in his exalted human nature, ever 
liveth to intercede for us, until that day when 
he shall deliver up the kingdom (viz. his mediato- 
rial office) to God, even the Father, and the glo- 
rious Godhead of Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, 
shall be all in all for ever. O the preciousness of 
such an High Priest, such a Saviour, such a Coun- 
sellor, such a King ! O for more heart-felt union 
with him— more of the power of his transforming 



< 251 ) 

love ! Blessed promise, " he that hungereth and 
thirsteth after righteousness, shall be filled." 

You have heard, I doubt not, of precious Mr. 
Fletcher's death, and how he proclaimed with his 
latest breath— GOD IS LOVE! O that we may 
be filled as he was, with his heavenly master's spi- 
rit. There was a witness of the power of grace ! 
a living and a dying witness that Jesus can save to 
the uttermost. Let me exhort my dear friend, to 
come just as you are to the open fountain of his 
precious blood : and how soon may you feel the 
merit of him you were once taught to despise, 
made of God unto you, not only Wisdom and 
Righteousness, but also Sanctifi cation and Re- 
demption. 

You see how freely I write, as if I had known 
you seven years. I hope you will follow my exam- 
ple in this, and let me know the particulars of your 
spiritual state, that I may rejoice yet more in your 
joy. My love and my dear partner's attend you. 
" May he that liveth and was dead, who is the 
First and the Last — the bright and the morning 
Star," be the portion of your happy soul, prays 
your invariable friend, 

H. A. ROGERS. 



LETTER XXXV. 

(To Mr. Holy of Sheffield.) 

Cork, March 12, 1790. 
Dear Sir, 

I HAVE been so long silent that I am almost 
ashamed to write at all. 1 can only say, I am more 
fully engaged than you can easily imagine ; and 



( 252 ) 

more so every day : As to farther apologies, I re- 
aliy have not time to make them, and must rely on 
your good nature to excuse me. It gave me real 
pleasure to hear of the prosperity of your soul. — 
I cannot doubt, from the description you give, but 
the Lord hath put you in possession of what you 
so long desired, and you can now love him with all 
your heart ; or, in other words, from moment to 
moment, with all your present powers. What, 
with all your strivings, you could not do before, 
viz. keep your mind from sinful wanderings, and 
the rising of evil tempers ; fix your eye on things 
above — fix your affections there ; this you now find 
is done by the power of God through faith. It is 
not you that now live, but Christ liveth in you : 
and your tempers, will, affections, passions and de- 
sires, move in the will of God ; sweetly attracted 
and governed by divine love. You feel you are 
helpless : but Jesus is almighty, and faith makes 
all his omnipotence your own — You are tempted, 
but sin, though offered with a pleasing bait, can 
find no entrance : for lo ! the Lord your keeper 
stands omnipotently near, and till our will give 
way, we have not sinned. What sonre call invo- 
luntary sins, or sins of ignorance, we know would 
be breaches of that perfect law, adapted and suit- 
able to the perfect body and perfect soul of Adam 
while innocent : his perfect knowledge gave him 
at one glance to see how he ought to act in all 
things; and if he acted contrary to this perfect 
knowledge he sinned. But we (even when sanc- 
tified) are not perfect in knowledge, and therefore 
an ali-wise and gracious God, hath put us under a 
law or covenant, adapted to our capacity, and 
which our renewed natures are capable of, even the 
law of love — love to God and every soul of man. 
To keep this law is Christian Perfection. Love is 
the fulfilling of the law : involuntary sins, there- 



( 253 ) 

fore, or sins of ignorance are not sins in the gospel 
sense ; but, to him that believeth any thing to be 
sin, (though otherwise unessential) to him it is sin. 
This you know ; and while you keep the law of 
liberty — the law of love, you feel your many weak- 
nesses and short-comings are all atoned for by the 
all-prevailing, ever-pleading blood of Jesus : and 
in this sense it is we every moment need the merit 
of his death. 

I have had a touch of the fever and sore throat, 
lately so very prevalent in this city ; but, how ten- 
derly hath the Lord sweetened all my pain, by the 
divine consolations of his love and constant pre- 
sence. I think affliction was never so sweet be- 
fore : He continually spoke to my heart, "All that 
I have is thine ; so that every moment I was swal- 
lowed up in love and praise. My dear partner 
joins me in christian love, and believe me, dear 
Sir, to be your sincere friend and sister in Jesus, 

H. A. ROGERS. 



LETTER XXXVI. 

(To a Friend.) 

London, Dec. 5, 1PQ2. 
My Dear Sister, 

AS our blessed Lord has again restored me to 
a little strength, I feel renewed desires to devote it 
all to him. Wishing to be of some little use to the 
afflicted among his dear saints in this city, in the 
course of my visits yesterday morning, i called up- 
on Mrs. Jacques, (a poor woman, only three doors 
from ©ur Spitalfields chapel) and I was thankful I 

22 



( 254 ) 

did so. She gave me a pleasing, affecting account 
of her husband, who died a month ago. Hoping 
and praying it may prove as great a blessing to 
your soul as it has been to mine, I here relate the 
particulars. 

They had been married five years. For two 
years after their marriage, they lived reputably; 
when it pleased the Lord to afflict Mr. Jacques 
with a palsy, so that he was unable to work : and 
about eighteen months ago he had a second stroke, 
which took away the use of one side entirely ; and 
he was then confined to his bed. A blood vessel 
was strained, or broke, which affected his throat, 
and formed a lump there as big as the head of a 
child. This affliction reduced them to deep po- 
verty : but they were assisted by kind friends, 
who also visited and prayed constantly with them. 
While in health, Mr. Jacques had frequently heard 
the Methodists, and was enlightened respecting the 
way of salvation ; and during his sickness, he 
earnestly sought the Lord ; but his evidence was 
never clear, till a little before his death. His wife 
knew the Lord in her youth, but was a backslider 
In heart from his love ; yet, she earnestly desired 
salvation for her dying husband ; and would often 
say, " My dear, how is it with your soul? Have 
vou confidence in God ?" &c* — He would answer, 
* c Iam not happy: I have no assurance." She 
asked, " Do not you think he has power to save 
vou?" he said, " O yes, but I want to know he does 
save me !" Several friends prayed with him, and 
for him ; yet the cloud remained until the Monday 
evening before he died. As one of our friends 
went into his room that night, he cried out, "Lord, 
save thy poor, helpless servant this night ! O visit me 
with salvation under the prayer of this thy servant : 
Pardon my sins, and heal my guilty soul !" The 
Lord heard ; and (before his friend rose up from 



( 255 ) 

•prayer) so delivered him, that he cried aloud — 
"Now I am happy ! Now I know Jesus has for- 
given me all, and I shall be with him for ever ! I 
am happy! lam happy!" Thus he went on for 
some time. To his wife he said, " Trust the Lord, 
and be resigned, and seek his forgiveness with all 
your heart. Are you resigned ?" She said, " I 
cannot give you up." "Not resigned !" said he, 
with great concern, "You must be resigned, for I 
shall be taken from you — I shall die this night, 
therefore resign me quickly !" After lying compo- 
sed a little, he bid them pray. A person present 
did so : but he bid them pray again ! They asked, 
44 Are you not happy?" he said, "O yes, I am; 
but you have yet need to pray — the time is very 
short !" They prayed again : but he turned to 
his wife and said, "Do you pray." She said, 
" Lord help me to pray." And she found power 
earnestly to entreat the Lord to finish his work ; 
and that if any thing remained to be done, speedily 
to make an end of sin. This satisfied him ; and 
he said, "That is right: — thank thee. The Lord 
is here, and I shall soon be happy for ever !" (far- 
ther adding) " I have much to say to thee, and the 
time is very short. Are you resigned ?" She said, 
"I hope I am." "Well," said he, "that is right : 
then I shall soon go ! Trust God, and he will take 
care of thee." After lying a little, with his eyes 
closed, he cried, " Sing — sing — I am just going !" 
They could not sing for tears : — he seemed dis- 
pleased, and cried, "Will none of you sing?" — 
They could not answer him, and he said to his 
wife — "What! will not you sing? You ought not 
to weep, but to sing, when you see me going to 
God !" and then he gave out, and sung with a 
loud voice, 



( 256 ) 



" Salvation, O the joyful sound ! 

What pleasure to our ears ?" Sec. 

after which he lay composed a little ; then started 
up and said, " There is the Lord Jesus ! Betsy, 
there is the Lord Jesus !" And to another he said, 
" See ! there he is ! — the Lord Jesus ! — I am go- 
ing !" and immediately dropped, as it were asleep, 
into his arms ; for he spoke no more. 

My soul was comforted by the above relation.*— . 
O what is all below compared with a death like 
this ! What are trials, which are but for a moment, 
when the joy which is set before us is so exceeding 
abundant ! The poor widow now desires to meet 
class with me ; and I bid her come : May she be 
joined to the Lord in bonds never to be broken. I 
am, my dear friend, yours in our common Lord, 

H. A. ROGERS. 



FINIS, 



33 



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